the last time you
felt inresitable closeness
where when you went
into this dark basement...







there was a man in a cage
he received you with rage
as you animalically engaged
in the provocation of greed

amber on his skin
yellow-colored fluid
and your pulse beat
the same speed
as you turned into a unit

then you woke up and smelled
his grin

i've had it with the writer's block
forced complexes to shut up

just keep on writing
to find my tizzights

i opened my eyes
i open my eyes
i will open my eyes:

i realized
i realize
i will realize:

* nothing is worth more than family *

TO MY DEAREST ONES:

MY SON NICHOLAS:
fan of dragons, buburacker, properer schelm, the best that happened to me. you are becoming me and yourself
i have been changing through you
indescribable love is in me for you my son.


MY DAUGHTER EDEN:
this verse is about the delight in your cheeks when you're smiling baby
one day i looked into your eyes for a long while this was our closest moment so far
indescribable love is in me for you my daughter

BEZA:
i truly apologize for all the bad things you had to deal with during my active dependency
you're a good mother: god bless you. i love you.

MOM and DAD:
i am made of you and i've been given a lot by you, my parents


TO MY DEAR ONES:

maria and barbara (believers like us)

christoph z. (the man with a great taste in music)

CHRISTOPH R. (wise and pervaded with love) & sandra

ELIAS (try to quit the gaming, young brüderle)

alin & valerie (the twins)

uncle günther (try to reduce your pod smoking much love)

aunt susanne (meet me on christmas much love)

andreas (all best to your mother, may she rest in peace)

cousin tina & lance (blessings by god and shem; an inspiration)

aunt marlies & uncle teddy & and their dog billy (empathy is the best medicine to live a good life)

aunt lotte (have never met you but would like to)

if i have forgotten anyone, please forgive me
God bless all of you
you are my family

MUCH LOVE
ICH LIEBE EUCH

YOURS
MAX a.k.a. MIKEY

the way you walk is the way i walk
the way i talk is the way you talk

we are alike and different
we are different and alike

you are becoming me and yourself
i have been changing through you

you, nicholas, are (in) my life
until i...

"i have been suffering under a loss. can you help me?"


"ain't no big deal you gotta pass avenue h
then you have to make a left to reach starbucks

when you're standing in front of it
move your head to the right and focus the end of the block you'll spot a lantern

(not the one with the rectangular shape but
the one that looks like a strange cone; mind that difference my man)

yeah
and when you have reached that lantern
you walk 25 blocks to catch a ride

ain't no cab i need you to look out for a gipsy car ridden by a female driver

(can't tell you why now would be too early and will be explained later on the phone)

hand out $ 7.000,00 to the driver and tell her to take you to emigration oaks; that's close to salt lake city in utah (never ever try to get there by plane my man)

after you'll have arrived you gotta dial a certain number –– 1-800-reveal-a-secret –– 
and listen to a voice you have been fearing

its message will be relating to you personally

let everything go
show courage
become yourself

one year later smile about your former life.

do you understand that?"