science claims
that your pupils dilate
when you look at someone
you love.
you told me
that you loved
how mine grew
when i looked at you.
but when i would look back
into your eyes,
i could only see
pinpoints.

you told me that i made everything feel okay.
you kissed my cheek gently as much as possible,
like when my parents turned away,
or when my friends were distracted,
or when we were sitting naked in the woods.
you never let a night pass without saying
"goodnight sleep tight i love you,”
even up until the night before you broke up with me.
you told me that you bragged to your friends
about how lucky you were to have me as a girlfriend.
you told me i had the prettiest eyes you had ever seen.
you always pulled me closer every time we were together.
like that one time in my foyer,
i walked away from you
and you reached out to grab me gently by the waist.
you wrapped your arms around me once i got close enough,
and spun me around with your hand cupping my face
just so you didn’t have to wait any longer to kiss me.
we started off just ******* but then you said you wanted to try dating.
you were the one who said "i love you" first.
well, first you said “i really REALLY like you”,
then you said “i almost love you”,
and then you said “I LOVE YOU”,
quickly followed by “i know it’s early,
but you’ve been putting up with my **** since january,
so i can say it”
you tried quitting cigarettes at least three times,
maybe because you knew i hated them,
maybe because you started to care about your health,
i never asked why.
you said that the struggle to get my parents to like you was worth it.
i sobbed when my dad told me he was disappointed in me for dating you,
i sobbed through three conversations with my mom about you,
and all for what?
you told me i made you want to sober up and settle down with me.
later you told me not really,
just that i made you want to stop doing hard drugs
like oxy.
you said you liked me because i was different.
you told me that we would have plenty of time together.
you told me you really
really
loved me.
but i forgot that
love is just an illusion.

never date a boy with commitment issues.
the way he treats you after a breakup is more important than how he treated you while you were dating.
never date a boy who smokes cigarettes.
you can't change someone no matter how hard you try.
never date a boy that's lonely.
don't hookup with someone if you like their personality.
never date a boy who thinks his **** is a gift.
be wary when he says "i love you" at the end of a relationship.
never date a boy who feels no emotion.
if he mentions a girl, he'll probably **** her when you break up.
never date a boy with no ambition.
love is an illusion.
never date a boy who measures the success of a relationship in the number of times you ******.
if his actions don't match his words, don't believe what he says.
never date a boy who begs to not use a ****** when both of you have no intention to start a family.
if he makes no time for you, don't waste your own time on him.
never date a boy who doesn't like breakfast.
if it's too good to be true, it probably is.
never date a boy who's a racist.
when he says he always has doubts about relationships but you make everything feel okay, remember that doubts will overcome any good feeling.
never date a boy who loves you out of convenience.
"you feel like a sister, but incestually" is not a compliment.
never date a boy who prefers hard cookies to soft ones.
if your friends and parents tell you not to get involved, listen to them.
never date a boy who has different relationship ideas than you.
if he says "we'll try again" when breaking up with you, he's lying.

A gas giant
nine times the size
of the planet we call home.
175,000 miles of ice rings,
spanning almost the same distance
between our world and the moon.
With the ability to contain
764 Earths,
Saturn makes our planet seem
microscopic.
Our world
is so large to us,
yet so small
to other planets.
And even smaller
to the universe.
Seemingly endless solar systems,
galaxies,
and light years
composed of dark energy
and matter
make you look
insignificant.

You are a drug
handcrafted by the Devil.
Addiction came after
a single touch,
always craving “just one more.”
Everything used to feel like a dream,
but I don’t think
I’m dreaming anymore.
Traces of you still flow
through my veins.
I don’t want to be addicted anymore.

the salty smell of summer beaches,
and crashing ocean waves.
a clear autumn sky,
and september’s birthstone sapphire.
crisp winter air,
and cold stinging against your skin.
vibrant hydrangeas in spring bloom,
your eyes that last time in may,
and the salty taste of tears.

your words,
they have the power
to rattle around in my head.
but your silence,
that has far more power.
the power to rip apart my ribcage.
extract energy from my body.
force waterfalls from my eyes.
and spill worries from my mind.
i'd prefer your harsh words
over your unspoken words.

The most fragile thing is not
Your mother’s favorite china
Or your family's crystal glasses
Or a teenage girl’s heart
Or even your most prized possession.
But what the most fragile thing is,
Is your own life.