I’m sorry.
For allowing you to feel guilt.
For making you doubt yourself.
For not believing you could do better.
For not knowing your worth.
For making mistakes.
For blaming you.
And most importantly..
I’m sorry for not putting you first.

She don’t want love.
She don’t love no one but herself.
What about love?
What about lust do you trust yourself?
Do you think your worthy of love?
Are you certain that you are..?

Wanna get away.
Not knowing what to say.  
Living life day by day.
Feeling as though I’ve been led astray.
Today’s a new day not like yesterday.  
What am I exactly waiting for anyway?

Hate feeling alone.
Not knowing when to let go.
Love seeing your face.
Even on a cold winters day.  
I’d risk it all for you.
You make my cheeks go pink.
It’s funny since you wouldn’t think,
that I love you oh so much.
I get overwhelmed by your slightest touch.

There’s something about you.
That’s so familiar.
Makes me feel like I’ve been here before.
Like I’ve loved you before.  
You make my heart dance.
I swear I met you.
I can’t put my finger on it.
But your just a stranger.

The ceiling grew in size.
My vision became blurred.
I began to see nothing but black.  
I struggled to move.
My body felt as if it was being constrained.
I couldn’t speak.
My voice was gone.
I couldn’t do anything.
I felt helpless.
I felt paralysed.

The pain remains.
My heart is drained.
Will you ever change?
As my mind is detained.
By the thoughts of your complains.
I think to myself.
Could you be the one I wake up next to?

I was happy then.
So happy.
But then again I didn’t know you that well.
This the kinda love that brings pain.
The kinda love that has tests.
Young love, the harshest love.
Yet the sweetest love.

You showed me cold love.
You neglected my feelings.
You took me for a joke.
You blamed it all on your problems.
You made me like this.
Like you.
Broken.

Thoughts of you keep me up at night.
We can go days without speaking.
Yet a day can’t go by without you crossing my mind.
Sometimes bad thoughts.
Sometimes good thoughts.
But you always wriggle your way back into my brain..somehow.
Especially late at night..
When my minds does nothing but wonder as to what could’ve been.

My heart yearns for your love.
It crumbles at the sight of you.
I wonder if I’ll ever be normal again.
But I scoff at the thought of it.
This is so unhealthy I think to myself.
Will you ever fathom my love for you?

I feel it going.
The goodness in me.
Slowly being erased.
Almost none left.
Nothing but bad.
Floating in my bloodstream.
Darkness left in my mind,
Body and soul.

Tattoos on my mind.
Sleepless nights.
Aimless decisions.
Unclear encounters.
Deadly thoughts.
Empty soul.

You let me be.
Understand me.
Let me blossom as a woman.
If I needed a shoulder to cry on..
..you’re there for me.
You see right through me..
If I needed to ,I could cry and you would catch my tears..
Shame we didn’t last.
I feel lost without you.
And I’m the one to blame.