I don’t even know how I got past your door
I was wondering if I could walk through it
I can’t be the messenger anymore
Just a light at the end of the room
But it’s my shadow that knows what to say

I'm not a road or even a small tower
You can look at me though if you dare
You can go around the side but not know how
Everyone who felt the same way knew why
But everyone with their own mind said nothing

A crowded room has spaces nobody can see
I noticed it one time in a painting
It was a long stretch of land
It seemed like a good place to shoot a gun
But not where spaces hide from one another

Sometimes there’s so little to say to one another
Except which way the money went today
Everybody who digs a ditch wants a window
Everybody with a window wants to open it
I thought the answer came with a bottle

You know you got lost before you started
The sax in the song was too fast for you
It was confusing anyway you heard it
It didn’t add anything to the room
So you left before you even got there

I think I’m gonna’ laugh about it now
Making sense never works for me
No matter how far, they’ve already been there
I thought about writing a song about you
But a long explanation is too shallow
And a short one is always too deep

Something that existed
Before nothing
Made something
From nothing
In seven days
Then fooled a man
With a snake
And a woman
Then flooded something
And made it
Nothing
Then gave us something
A spirit
And a son
Who was God
Or was he?
Raised from the dead
Then nothing
For two thousand years
Except a book
In another language
From another land
And you believe
That's alright
But what does that have to do with me?
The law
Spoken from your lips
Demanding tithes
Judging
Preaching
Witnessing
Praying
Laying hands
Faith healing
Speaking in tongues
Evangelizing
Lifting up
Right
Wrong
Fear
Yeah
That's a lot of talk
But what does that have to do with me?
Born of the same man
But not the same Mom
Separated
Sent away
Living in the desert
Believing in miracles
Of a ****** birth
Of ascension from life
Further revelation
The final prophet
And you believe
That's alright
But what does that have to do with me?
From nothing
Something
Primordial soup
A fish
A monkey
A man
Then death
Then nothing
And you believe
In nothing
That's alright
But what does that have to do with me?
Which miracle should I believe?
The miracle of a God?
The miracle of life from nothing?
The miracle of my life?
The miracle of yours?
How can I be sure?
How can you?
Yet you are
And I am not
Your assuredness
Leads
My skepticism
Follows
The more you believe
The less I do
Why must I be like you?
Are alms not enough?
Stop shaking my shoulders
Stop telling me I’m going to die
Stop telling me I am not chosen
Stop telling me only idiots believe in God
Stop
I met you forty years ago
Then again
And again
Each time
A difference face
Each time
With the same message
Believe
Don’t believe
It never changes
So stop
Please
I've heard it
I've thought about it
I've felt it
You cannot reach me
Only I can reach myself
I know how bad I can be
I know how I hurt others
I know my capabilities
I know my limitations
I know I need to forgive
And I know how I feel
I know
Ok?
So you live
As will I
Let me follow my path
It will be unspoken
I cannot tell
I will not tell
Maybe you will see
Maybe you will know
So
As you follow your path
While disapproving of mine
And you find yourself
Trippin'
Because you were judging my way
Instead of living your own
You might ask yourself
What does it have to do with him?

how many times did his hands search his pockets
it seemed that’s how he turned his face on and off
today’s blinking light was for his broken down heart
but he could only find his keys

a ride in his car was how he thought best anyway
that was what he wanted to do or so he believed
he was tired of being up so early all the time
maybe that’s why his heart stopped saying please

it was time to live like it was still the night before
if you don’t fall asleep you won’t catch a hangover
he was tired of people who are only in it for the money
luckily Sunday was still there for his worn out knees

he thought about spending the day with someone
maybe a walk and a goodbye to her forever
he couldn’t remember who put the hole in his pocket
or why birds don’t make nests in the wrong trees

Your birth, upon you
Your circumstance, unaware
Love, you didn’t know how
Your needs, all that you care

Questions, which ones to ask?

Direction, ambition or chance?
Life, meaningless or necessary?
Dreams, nightmares or fantasies?
Shadows, yours or someone else’s?
Walls, inside or outside?
Yesterday, regret or forget?
Tomorrow, hope or worry?
Today, cherish or squander?
Prayer, delusion or faith?
Reality, accept, deny or change?
Pain, inflicted or absorbed?
Love, to live or to die for?

Answers, to live with or without?

The time to decide is inside your clock
It cannot tell you when
It only tells you to begin
But are you still a baby as helpless as then?

I was so close, too close for comfort
I wanted to see if you really meant it
I watched as you quietly performed
You don’t see it that way though
Living is never an act if it’s true

It's like the things I say
I don't time myself
Inspiration is fleeting
I can only hope you were there

We want a world without taking sides
A way for us to live as our own nature would
We always judge each other by our differences
Why would anyone would want to be the same

I was so close, enough to feel your breath
I wanted to see if you would move away
There is no destination if you’ve arrived
It’s knowing that the place is really a time
I made it ******* myself by falling in love

It's like the things I say
I don't save myself
Inspiration can't wait
I can only hope you were there

We want to be in love without taking sides
A way for us to live as our own heart would
We always try to make each other the same
Why do we forget we once loved our differences

you should know now what I would say
i cannot be engaged by the ambitions of man
instead
i live inside a song
in front of a painting
wading in the ocean
at the bottom of a water fall
in a state of constant inspiration
by nature
and the spirit of man
feeling only how it came to this
that we cannot overcome our differences
yet in the moment of crescendo
where harmony
and color
and tides
and pools form
it is there that we rise above human form
and become spirit
no longer what the eye may see
or the mind may judge
but instead
only that known to God
for only the truth will survive
and before him we are all the same
yet before each other
we are different
and difference becomes separation
and separation becomes suspicion
and suspicion becomes anger
and anger becomes hate
but my emotions are very close to my words
what do you expect of me
don’t you know by now?

Get your own sound
Where you get it don’t matter
Borrow it
Change it
Rearrange it
Till they don’t recognize it
Then it’s yours
Think about it
Live with it
Become it
Till you recognize it in a dream
Then it’s you
You found it one night
But you didn’t write it down
You were driving a car
Long ago
It all came together
You didn’t trust yourself
The information wasn’t enough
It wasn’t whole
It didn’t feel like Sunday afternoon enough
You wanted it to be about peace
But is that your sound?
It may only be a moment
A break from the past
Or the concern
What atmosphere did you suppress?
You didn’t recognize it
That’s why it was you
You only can recognize someone else
You aren’t CONFIDENT about new thoughts
Nobody is
You have to suffer through it
Walk with strangers
Sleep on concrete
I saw a man do that the other day
Everybody stepped over him
And you have so much more
But what do you hear?
Stop reacting
You have heard every word there is
You have felt every emotion there is
Put it all together
There was a friend once
The one you tell stories about
Their genius was being different
But they were too much for you
You couldn’t live like that
They were too loud
You couldn’t hear yourself
They were primitive
Without any dignity
Yet you remember
Raw
But then elegance and poise
Elegance and poise
Is that what made you stumble?
Just words that strangle
Sunday afternoon
Is that your sound?
Are you listening?
It may be that you are not
Mere existence
Not knowing
Not hearing
Not you
Not less
More

I'm not climbing to higher ground;
it's holy enough where I stand
It's my fault I planted the wrong seeds;
scattered about by my own hand

The spirit hovers over silent waters;
it's life unconcerned about my fulfillment
Desert sands burn my swollen feet;
my pain has become my sacrament

Don't weep for me
Don't sing for me
I'm not a martyr
My life is my burden
And yours my blessing

Have I humbled myself too late;
a story already written enough for dust,
settling on the bounded spine of memories
Where regret blooms and pride can only rust

I pray for my friends
I pray for their children
what else can I do?
what else?
what else?

Don't weep for me
Don't sing for me
I am not a prophet
My life has been chosen
And yours keeps me guessing

I pray for you my love
I pray for you my love
what else can I do?
what else?
what else?

do not want
what a possession
is
to another

beyond
comfort
what else is there

do not want
but for need

what could we want
that is possessed
by
another

for what you possess
is not for sale
it is only to discover

if you will only look

It was time to prepare the table
The chain of events could only be seen in reverse order
As each moment was carefully placed
The table cloth suddenly became wider
With no heed to meaning
But in haste the cup was passed before it became dry
To share with another rider
Was the only way his life’s worth would be able

The spaces of the past can only be filled by imagination
There is not enough inspiration to remember
The sense of time has been ignored long enough
Is the barren mind of youth any more than a whisper
Strangled by the embrace of an age old mistake?
A garage is where rejection becomes acceptance
Pretending the audience is not there they play
The ones who will love you understand blind emotion

Is there a word to describe how I allowed it to happen?
Each day that passes I frown at what I carry in my mind
Without taking a stand I awaken far away from who I am
For in humble comfort it is behind closed eyes I hide

As I lay under a canopy of floral blue sky windows
The things that have passed beg for my forgiveness
The light I see offers nothing in return for my gaze
Except to blink away the clouds of my weakness

He became death reaching his zenith rationally
The glass maker could only explain himself to ambition
The pollen he transported under his wings simply worked
And he created the fear that became the human condition

There was no consult with his maker for he was not the executioner
If not by him, by whose hand would Kings wield their power?
Though he knew all the saints died in the fires of human inquisition
His revulsion quietly buried his triumph in the garden of dishonor

You have allowed man to portion your purpose,
the measure limited by what can be sold;
physical beauty,
frivolous distraction,
for love of life has become love of acceptance

But who would love you that would rob you;
of your dignity,
of your life,
of your soul,
except those who do not know how to love

Remove the fears that make your eyes eager,
to please,
to die,
to give up what it is that you were meant to be

They take what cannot be given,
to you,
by man,
for their own glory,
or else they would

Stand naked if you must,
stand alone if you trust what I'm saying,
and if you cannot,
then I pray that one day the life you should be,
will come,
and what comes undone,
is what they have become

But it is you who must decide what to live up to

No matter the slumbers that overtake
Or the past that won't release it's hold
Who you are is in the light only you can shine

No matter that love can only forsake
Or that children make you feel old
What you can be are the thoughts in your mind

No matter headwinds that are too great
Or the nights that loneliness make cold
How you will love is what your heart will remind

No matter the darkness of your fate
Or the lies that have been told
That a kind soul exists within is what God will find

There was a time when I would play
Today was the same as yesterday
The news was read by a man named Cronkite
With my Dad we listened in the panel room light
I wondered if war was wrong; or was it right?

What could I ever know
Except what the TV might show
Was it what a preacher might preach
Or what a general might teach
The canon of a ghost a father and a son?
Or flags flying high above a smoking gun?

I saw a man with a loaded gun
Pointing at the temple of another one
But they were far away from me
Then I saw the barrel of a rifle
And a flower planted by a disciple
He said blessed are the peacemakers
But so too a man who lays down his life

I thought about a carpenter
A soldier and a gardener
The gospel rang in my ear
So too the flag I hold dear
And as I tilled the soil
My blood began to boil
For I have become a sinner
Who has no King but Caesar

Where did the little boy go
Who believed in good and not evil
Now he sees hate without reason
And love lost without a season
As he walks in the desert sand
A soldier and a prophet await
For what is man without fear
Or faith without scars in his hand?

My helplessness
Is not in my mortality
But from my beating heart
Which tells me of the reality
That I walk at someone’s behest
I cannot make it stop or start
I hope it remembers what to do
For I am unable to impart
Any sense of who I am
Or what I feel
Onto its rhythmic
Turn of the wheel
And when I look closely
And see the fiery sun
I feel the same fear
Just like the one
Over my hearts life
And I wonder how
I can live
As I do now
And did long ago
With joy
And heartbreak
And now a man from a boy
I wait for the final beat
And the final ray
Of my life
Will it be today?
How will I ever know
On that day
When what I cannot control
Chooses what to do or say
And in the moment after
These questions
Will no longer matter
Nor will the suggestions
Of how I should live my life
In preparation for the sun
And my heart
To decide their work is done

You pray every day thanking him while you cry
Angels live because hope draws clouds in the sky
We believe they are only there to make it rain
You watch for signs that your life is not in vain

You’re not afraid to admit it if only they believed
You know you can love as much as what you received
Every leaf you turn over once had roots so deep
Someone is wondering too about memories you keep

I put you through all that
I couldn’t believe you were serious
I kept thinking about who I am
Instead I never saw who you were

I put you through all that
You believed in me for a moment
Now I know what happened
Only being friends is more than I can bear

You love anything that moves with the moon
Low tide means love will join you soon
But washed over footprints in the sand
Are the memories when I held your hand

I put you through all that
I couldn’t believe you were serious
I kept thinking about who I am
Instead I lost all that you were

I put you through all that
You believed in me for a moment
Now I know what happened
Being apart is not a life we can share

What is in the air you breathe?
Is it a belief in a man
Or the answers to a prayer?

What is in the water you drink?
Is it the baptism of your soul
Or the depths of despair?

What calm do you see in his face?
The inspiration for a greater good
Or what is in his hands alone?

What has religious fervor wrought?
The desire to howl with wolves
Or a gentle heart ready to atone?

What are in the words you speak?
Is it the absolute truth
Or the hedge of perception?

What are in the words he speaks?
The promise of freedom
Or the requirement of his opinion?

What garden do you till?
That which raises fists of stone
Or flowers of individual expression?

What do know of your neighbor?
Is he full of understanding
Or correct minded without reason?

What power would you give the state?
The power of your fears
Or the power to be humane?

What is the will of your heart?
For a power greater than yourself
Or for a love that comes from within?

What is true comradeship?
Is it formed by conflict
Or by honest compassion?

What is the meaning of life?
Is it a line drawn on a map
Or love and human emotion?

What is a real man
Crying in the ocean so there is no record of it?
Being brave
Attacking the world because his own has ended?
Searing eyes
Burning a hole into you knowing what he wants?
What is a real man
Loving a woman so she will know the difference?
Being gentle
Caressing a sage bush because God is watching?
Acting mysterious
Like a light that can make shadows in the night?
What is a real man
Waiting years and years without compromise?
A dreamer
But living life between open and closed eyes?
A truth seeker
Knowing what he sees is not what you see?
What is a real man
Uplifting joy within his heart so you may know?
Anger and fear
To lash out or run away in equal measures?
Love and peace
Knowing the impossible lives inside his heart?

At least once, I wanted to know
it seems everything I touch
or see
Is a beautiful sunset,
a moment to treasure
or a revelation of the choice I must make,
to pretend I am free,
because what is free without industriousness;
could it be only the fantasy of the young;
those who once thought of changing the world,
who never believed that time would change them;
bending them towards reality
for who would care for them as they reject convention
and what is convention if not a way to survive?
is there the reflection of fire in our champagne
is there the cloud waiting at the bottom of the ocean
each drifting, an image or unseen, but real
we forget our past and drink to the future,
or we remember the times we loved,
and wonder if it could ever happen again;
or instead must I choose to accept that I am not free
I have a role in life, a cloud to provide water,
a root to feed the wood; a leaf to cool the ground;
the grass to feed the fauna;
a hind-quarter to feed a family; a child to grow;
a book to teach; a thought to decide;
to decide if I am free
living on my own
apart from the world that was built by others
to reject it because I believe it is wrong
to think that I don’t need them
or it
to wander before canyons
and peaks
to live off the land
and to pass without asking for help;
is that my freedom
or is it just my desire to play freedom,
until I realize that the world does not care for me
and then what;
what did I build for my life
for my children, if I would have them;
for my aging body
will I laugh at convention then
when I am no longer able to invent my own language
because those who follow are inventing their own
and making the same choice
to pretend to be free
or to begin digging the same hole that swallowed me whole

It is the exclusion of the exception
that fires your mind; suggestions deep
enough to gain your attention but vague
enough to prompt your objection burn
deeply into apathy’s lethargy

Art is creation while change is alchemy;
can working on yourself  be so transformative
that your mind becomes your art? It is your
actions that they will see and what you
inspire in others will become your muse

Irony; it was in the air that I could not see and
the thoughts I could only feel but not show
that brought the purpose of my existence into
view and yet I still asked why

It seems I make my mistakes only when
my personality is involved; but what I feel
is always right for me because my heart
does not concern itself with being memorable
or justified

There needs to be more because she needs
more than what I need; I could walk alone for
days and still love her but that’s not what
she bargained for when she decided to give
me a chance

Until I know the difference between a sandstorm
in the desert and a hurricane in the ocean the
vastness between perception and truth will always
be a trek that only a desperate human being would
ever consider; I wonder if that is what I have become

The same light now shines on enemies sworn
For evil has spun the web of the newly born dawn
The world can’t decide who should blow the horn
Between land and sea, frightened clouds are born
But who’s God decides which man will be saved?

No longer enchanted by our appearances
Blonde hair dark skin or man woman differences
We should all be equal no matter our distances
Our colors don’t matter but it makes us all witnesses
We spend too much time passing out the blame

We ripped the carpet up leaving the nails by the wall
The cold concrete felt so good until sun began to fall
We talked about the glass but weren’t sure what we saw
We waited by the phone but the answer decided not to call
It’s only kept us ignorant so we were used to that

You ever talk to a grave digger before the family arrives?
He burns out the hole with a ***** that is still alive
It makes no difference to him who it was or their size
The dimensions are good enough to say our goodbyes
He walks away with nothing left, the same as us

Who said it was time to notice the things that are wrong
Somebody was shocked that they felt they did not belong
You think a poor man is happy that you like his song?
He’d rather you sing it while he eats and drinks all night long
If you won’t take him in then don’t go to the zoo

What kind of insurance is a Bible and a gun next to your bed
You can pray and you can shoot but is that what Jesus said?
I know how it is when you can’t figure out what’s in your head
Some **** for God some for themselves either way he's dead
My nightstand is empty but I know how to sleep at night

what is just
to be born as the breach
the door
between good and evil
in the image
of the father for us to choose
with fear
and the will to ****
to survive
as only the wicked know how
their burden
though the dove returned
endless guilt
learning to be kind to another
but failing
as the relationship with the creator
languishes
except in the heart of a rainbow
every soul
pierced by a crown of thorns
every love
lanced by the point of a spear
every wall
falling to crush those who approach
black sails
filled with naïve dreams of eternity
from Jesus
to the beaches of hells angels

what is just
to read the words of a dream
written by a man
was he crazy or a prophet
he was ready
it was to save us all
and he knew
before diamonds were mounted
he knew
as she looked into his eyes
yesterday
they did not think of prophets
as it was written
their boots sunk deep into the earth
his mother cried
it had been so long between them
he loved her
but he could only dishonor her
he knew
but he lived the only way he knew how
not for her
not for the prophets dream
he was chosen
for a prophet knows of men like him
because he knows men
he did not have to dream about sin
it was dust on his sandals
but no difference for rich or poor

what is just
how can we know except we are here
it was not the spirit
as it moved across still waters
it was not light
as it split the darkness in half
it was the chosen one
as he gave himself up for us to decide
but there are no pictures
only the longing deep inside for truth
from the time of God
to the time of Satan’s last temptation
some hear a voice
but why is it always about death
some witness a dream
but why is it always about obedience
our nature is given
a rose and a thorn love and hate
to be denial
but who would sever a limb?
we did not ask
yet we are judged as he was
three thousand years
still the wicked walk among us
we live with his silence
though the message rings loud
but would you hide
if the rain refracted the light no more?

Are you just one more person who wished man was never born?
The wars of our lifetime are more deadly than those of antiquity
But instead we worry about the weather

What we fight for is easy when all we have to do is cultivate shame
Someone is living a life the same as you though he sleeps well
I wonder how it is we will ever come together

Has there ever been a warning that one day made you wonder?
The man who spoke loudest said now you will die soon
But I already knew that I won’t live forever

Did you excel at amassing a fortune and then laughing about it?
Or building fences dividing the land because you wrote the law?
But those who love the poor is our true measure

$     +     ?

Can all of life be reduced
To a sign?
Is it a dollar?
Is it yours or is it mine?
Is it a cross?
The sign of death
The sign of resurrection
Eternal life taking its first breath
Is it a man
With the power of reason
Filtered through perception
Changing every season?
Do you even know?
To whom do you pray?
Or do they pray to you
As you make them obey?
Do you crawl?
Or do they crawl to you?
Begging for mercy
As you would do
How would you describe yourself?
A Machiavellian?
A winner by any means
Even at the cost of heaven
In God we trust
But stuck in the eye of the needle
We extend our hand
Clutching the root of all evil
Unable to shed
Material things
Instead we cling
To gold and diamond rings
What is your sign?
I see it in the fruit you bear
I hear it in your words
I see it in clothes you wear
I see your assumption
Of privilege for yourself
As you take without asking
Adding to your wealth
A dollar sign
Is that your answer?
The cross
Is it your cancer?
It is written
Man cannot live by bread alone
Yet you insist
And refuse to atone
There is a sign
For each of us
Is it a dollar
Or a cross?
You decide
And for you I will pray
But make haste
It could be your last day
Do not take it literally
It's only a question
What is your sign?
I leave you with introspection
Or is the choice
To live under no sign at all?
Only to believe life has no meaning
For we live.... and that is all

I don't think I'll check myself in
I know what I'm seeing is real
I'm not gonna' run away from a bottle
Drinking makes it easier to sin

Sometimes it's like the girl I missed
I wonder if I make them feel like that
It's the blues waiting to cry once again
I hate packing them with me but they insist

I'm not saving for anything else
It's already spent
You don't have to loan me
You don't have to owe me
Let's just drink tomorrows rent

You won't have peace in your bed
Not if you drag me in the girls room
That's the crazy stuff we'll remember
A line of girls knocking in some bar

I'm not praying for anything else
They've already been sent
God don't have to listen to me
God don't have to speak to me
Maybe my own will is what he meant

i may disturbed
but i'm not destructive
i can't let things go
just because they didn't happen to me
i may be idealistic
but i'm not stupid
i don’t want to live my life so cynically
i may be hard to understand
but really i'm very simple
you’re so beautiful
i can look at your picture so lustfully
and that could be all there is to it
but i could love you so easily
if only you would not change me
if only you would not compete with me
if only you could be proud of me
if only you could live with me
if only you could love me like that
isn’t that what you want?

What kind of story lives so precariously,
never knowing the end, or having a past that will
justify any weakness or a past never to be able
to live itself down because forgiveness is a myth?

The light we see narrows every day, even though
what we live to see is full and free; as we age
what we know becomes less and less, like the light,
because we only remember when love was ours

But my friend, what you were in that moment
to me was worth everything I have suffered; what
was necessary after all were leaves that fall
and ice that melts to make way for a new life

There is no better time except for a time to come
that is as uncertain as it was long ago; but the
wisdom we gained must be discarded, for a baby
does not refuse to laugh because it knows better

May your age matter not
And only the fact of your life matter much
It is the dream that is on the rise
And not the sleep that lays you down
Consequence may choose
But it is not a reason to hesitate
Not for those of us who take chances
To discover what we wish to say
Not to hurt those who are different
Or those who cry because others are indifferent
But for those who do not have money
Or a way to wipe a child’s tear other than with love
We must write
We must paint
We must sing
We must discover how we change how their emotions
To soften their hearts
To redirect their minds to a place of happiness
For when we are happy
We are also happy for others
We are understanding
And grateful enough to turn the pages of a sad story
It is our gifts that will extinguish our own needs
And our fears that will raise them up again
Yes, may your age matter not
For it is what you can be to others that matters much
And the dream that you possess is ready to walk upright
If only you will let it

I was sitting there
languid, almost serene
your perfume in the air
but I  did not know your name

The moment was ours
or at least it was mine
how to make it yours
It always seems to be the same

The skin of the air was so clean
your scent, purring upon a pillow
your eyes,
slowly receding towards the night
they’re safer there
just the stars and you;
drawn to one another,
waiting for something to happen
but another sigh awaits

You left without a sound
except your chair, dragging
I hoped you’d turn around
But your heart made no claim

I’d seen it before
the entire moment
played over and over
I try to give them away
some gifts are left unopened

What I've been afraid of
It changes every ten years
It would have been about dying
Now it's just dying before my time

The only thing that has passed is a memory
The hot flame I once held in my hand
Is now the sand upon which I run
To the ocean to cool the turmoil in my heart
Only the ways of the wild and tameless
Can understand me now

I don't know my fate
I just know my plan
I haven't written anything down
Did you really think I wouldn't remember?

Why were you so sure of yourself
You thought you could find something better
The sun at midnight does not burn
But it knows the path you run
I tried to follow you once
Only a fool can describe you now

All I have to do is look at my children
It's like seeing the moon at night
Nothing else matters anymore
It's all up to me now

I stand with my arms folded
As if I know what to say
It’s no life without a broken heart
We can live longer than we should
The way love fails is too cruel to consider
But what I see in you is how I want to die now

I'm not so weary of life
That I cannot build another future
But when I think of you it's so hard to know
Can I love you enough to keep you?

He felt everything he needed to feel
A womans infidelity
His Father dying
His children crying
But still, he must live on
What space exists for him now?
He sailed beautiful waters
With a storm at his stern
He only had so much time
Before the shore would tell a sad story
A story of someone who tried
But was lost in the search for meaning
It’s a story of a man and where he stood
Where his feet were planted
He thought the beauty of nature was his spirit
And the beauty of man
But neither were of his own making
So he climbed higher
But not with his feet
Or his hands
He wanted things greater than himself
To make himself smaller and smaller
But that is not what soothed his discomfort
As he retreated into his own mind
He stopped living for things
And places
Love was for one night
Because worry slept beside him always
Worry about his fate
And his children’s
And whether she really loved him
He had no way of knowing
So he decided she didn’t
Just like the storm behind him
It was only there to remind him
To either live or die
To make money or ask why
To take pictures or his ego to deny
To suffer desire or remember it’s all a lie
To leave smiles to those who cannot see
And sorrow to those who know how life can be
Washing up on shores
That asked what took him so long
To come home

Upon the receding mass,
we float, imperceptible
gathered with pieces; clues,
hints of what we assume;
perception of truth; together,
we know; but we cannot,
we cannot because we are not,
we are not together, we are not
together, we are not together;
we are only apart, gathered,
but scattered, fragmented,
a song that cannot begin
or end; pausing, hesitating,
charging, hurting, confessing,
but not to each other and only
if it makes the pain go away;
we know when to cry; we know
when to open the box, spilling
the contents before us; pieces
pieces of our heart; and they
will pick one; the one that
our children walk with; to join
the leaves that blow; to join
the rivers that dry; to join
the money that bleeds; to join
the promises that lie; to join
the love that hates; to join
the assurance that confuses;
to join the winds that die;
for what helplessness cannot,
prayer will replace; if only
to believe that someone will remember;
remember we love them more than
we love the days when we were young

Who could take me seriously
When I have never lost my pride
Never felt hunger
Never feared for my children
Not like they have
But if I hold your hand
And you hold his
And he holds hers
Until we hold the hand of tears
Where the river begins
Then we will be together
And I will be able to speak
Words
Screams of anguish
Because then you will know
That when I speak it is not for me
But instead it is for them
For I do not have to suffer to cry
And I do not have to live like them
To die in shame
Because I was unable to carry them
Or make you believe in them
Like God does

A rose garden knows what to do
Alone doesn’t mean having to hide
What’s up what’s going on why not
Questions don't make a girl confide

A dusty bottle an old dry cork
No matter how hard it is to pull
What’s inside is what’s past
What you drink is a memory full

Hang on to what you got
Nature has a way with the lost
Find yourself take a look
Look around look around
That's what she took

Dancing on the porch
The moon is entertained
What you do is what you do
Even long ago feels no shame

Smell a rose leave it on the vine
Pour a glass full of old red wine
She’s out there you know where
Drink it up maybe you won’t care

Hang on to what you got
Nature doesn’t add up the cost
Find yourself take a look
Look around look around
Forget what she took

You finally got the courage
To tell her how you feel
You showed her your heart
You told her it was real

But some other guy
Already whispered in her ear
And you know he told her
The things she wanted to hear

Now she has a story to tell
About how a night always must end
And while she will see the sun
She’ll never see him again

Tell her the things she wants to hear
But tell her while you draw her near
When she wakes with that same old fear
She’ll see that you’re still here  

She knows there’s a force inside
That tells you what to say
But when you fall asleep
She worries about another day

A man will say anything
To get love in the night
But a love will do anything
To try to make it right

Tell her the things she wants to hear
But tell her while you draw her near
When she wakes with that same old fear
She’ll see that you’re still here

Avoid expectation
At all costs
Awareness is knowing when not to care
Of course you care
But you don’t concern yourself with lessons
Or form
Unless it’s your own
The worst thing is to be afraid
If you are a part of the scene
Then you can be a cowboy in a commune
It's an adventure without an agenda
Try not to think about it
Everything thing is a way out
Nothing is anything
The moment you feel different is the door
All it takes is one person to get you
There is no way to measure it
It’s not popularity
It’s not an ego
You walk like a cowboy in a castle
Take off your boots
Or wear them
But don’t make up your mind about it
And don’t answer questions
If anybody says they know you
That’s just them
It’s not you
They tried to put you somewhere
Somewhere that makes them feel better
The best thing I ever did was stand up to a friend
This is what I do
This is what I’m going to do
And being a man is not being a man
It’s not being a woman
It’s not being anything
Except being what I feel

What’s to become of a setting sun that cannot be with you always even though it will return in the morning to ask your sleepy eyes if you made love to the moon?

What’s to become of a solitary moon adorned with my kisses to be sent to you each night in remembrance of the past and a hope for a dream that is so old it has borne children that have taken their place in the heavens?

What’s to become of a dry creek bed that once ran wild to your seas in anticipation of becoming one in a mating ritual that can no longer move even the smallest pebble when once boulders shuddered to think of the passion play that ruled the night?

What’s to become of the lone wolf who howled each night in your forests that have now burned to the ground with not even a remnant of smoke from a fire that consumed our past lives and is merely ashen powder with no resemblance to the beauty that he once devoured?

What‘s to become of a stone tied to a leg attached to a body that once had a heart that was held in your hands and instead is drowning and decaying under the weight of oceans that will make quick work of its flesh leaving only the chain that mercilessly did your ***** work?

What’s to become of the abandoned sailboat with clanging hardware on a mast that stands alone without a sail to catch the wind; instead left to drift aimlessly while you walk away from the dock where you dropped the knife next to the cleat where you cut it loose and set it free?

I won’t ask personal questions
I can’t really prove myself to anyone
It could take a year or a day
I won’t give you suggestions
Unless you ask me to
Maybe it’s just better to pray

The past is the past
you can tell me things if you want
but somebody like me,
new to your life
may not be able to confront
the lines they drew,
on your heart, on your face
the one’s you carry, good and bad

When memories can’t hurt anyone but us
When we don’t know how much time we have
We won’t have to say their names out loud
Because the echoes of their voices remain
What is the point of it airing it all anyway
When what we know now is we’re both proud

You had to love somebody
Out of all the hearts in the world
When it was my turn
You’d given so much it hurts sometimes
It’s not a tree for me to chop down
It’s only a wish, what took us so long?

Have you run from your conscience?
You are a half-breed believer
You do not know where you belong
You cannot decide
Who is right and who is wrong

Find the human being inside you
That is where you will begin
It is the easy road
And the right one
It will help you carry the load

Whether cheap robes and scarves
And a beaten brow
Or summer dresses
And a Kentucky wide-brim
The truth cares not who it caresses

You could not decide what to believe
So believe in me
And what I tell you today
Is that you need no one
Except that from which you ran away

Don’t be so prophetic
Not everyone can believe it
It’s your own mystery script
No reason to decipher it
Just give them a clue
By the way you live

There can be no more light
When wrong becomes right
And the stars reject the night
Nothing ever again tastes like
The past where you long
To be in your old bed

A walk all about the place
Pulling the strings of lace
That softened your face
By her own good grace
For she saw in you, a knight
To whom she could kneel

I wonder how I can explain it
To a child, what is a politic
It’s a man whose lies within it
Make it easy to digest it
But the flowers he gives away
Can only bloom one time

There’s nothing of reality
What you believe fails to be
Enough to explain to me
Why truth is only dishonesty
Why is it so difficult
To rearrange our minds?

I could talk about the problem
How to love your boredom
With leaves falling in autumn
You only feel cold from within
I wanted to laugh with you
Your tears choked me instead

I only want to believe in you
I don’t know if a memory can too
Is a reincarnation a life or two?
What I choose to take will be true
It’s only going to be the times
That I finally saw you smile

A glass of Cru does not make one a Frenchman
   Though you feel it in flow through your veins
A pair of Lobbs does not make one an Englishman
   Though you will wish to walk like that again
A silk Armani suit does not make one an Italian
   Though your new style will be your gain
A parcel of land does make one a countryman
   Though you will hear the call of the plain
A part in a play does not make one a thespian
   Though you may know how to explain
A romantic kiss does not make one a husband
   Though she will forever live in your brain
An eagle soaring does not make one a shaman
   Though you see it fly through the rain
But the right woman can make you a gentleman
   And a soul can guide a humble man

I thought of you
As a forest
Or as the sea
You became waves crashing
And leaves falling down on me
I grew silent
Not knowing how I could make it be
But when I stepped back
I realized
I was still so far way from me
The things I wanted
Were black blue and grey
And as I awaited for it to appear
I knew one day it would be you I would see
But until the tide returns
And the forest is no longer a barren tree
What had become winter in my heart
Will on that day remind us of what we could be

Which miracle should I believe
And which one should I reject
When I was neither alive or dead
Nor witness to who laughed or wept
How can I be sure or feel at home?
Deliver reason or madness
What will it be?

Which language is only of man
And which one is from my soul
Will my tongue know to choose
Or will silence keep me whole?
How can say these things to you?
Deliver wisdom or foolishness
What will it be?

Which man should I fear
Will it be too late before I know
Would trust betray my open hand
Or will your warning make it so?
How will faith prove itself to me?
Deliver courage or cowardice
What will it be?

Which man should I ****
And by order of sinner or prophet?
Who will be most blessed
Those who pray or those who profit?
How will I ever know these things?
Deliver right or wrong
What will it be?

What would I say standing in front of a policeman?
What would I say standing in front of a black man?
What would I say standing in front of a victim?
What would I say standing in front of my children?
What would I say standing in front of the Constitution?
What would I say standing in front of the Sanhedrin?
What would I say standing in front of a Roman?
What would I say standing in front of heaven?

What would you say
To a tree where it lay
To roots too exhausted to feed
Like a snake
Upon the tail of its own seed
Fasting in this very moment
When shadows are spurned
And the rivers beneath it
Boiled by the torment
Of leaves one by one burned
By the fire your wounded heart lit
What would you say?
I will never know
For who can hear their own wake?
I am ash
And you now the wind
Upon which only sorrow may blow
Like smoke that forgot to pray
Losing its only friend
In the blink of an eyelash
A life, once a forest
Now scarred by an erstwhile promise

What you don’t understand
Is that I don’t think like you
I don’t wait in line
Because there is nothing that I need

What you don’t understand
Is that I’m not turned on like you
I’m not a thrill seeker
Because I don’t crave speed

What you don’t understand
Is that I’m not impressed
I don’t have to prove my manhood
Because I already planted that seed

What you don’t understand
Is that I don’t keep up with you
I don’t care anymore
Because I am not full of greed

What you don’t understand
Is that you cannot control me
I made you angry
Because we never agreed

What you don’t understand
Is that I don’t live in your world
I’m not trendy
Because all I do is lead

What you don’t understand
Is that you cannot reach me
I am not vulnerable
Because I will never bleed

What you don't understand
Is why I won’t laugh
I am not fooled
Because you are so full of need

What you don’t understand
Is that it will never work
I will not be compromised
Because your plan will never succeed

What you don’t understand
Is that I seek the truth
I reject what you stipulate
Because I don’t eat what you feed

What you don’t understand
Is that you will never know
I don’t have to explain
Because I have my own creed

What you don’t understand
Is that I will soon be gone
I only warn you
Because I want you to take heed

What you don’t understand
Is that I don’t have to run
I will never follow
Because I will always precede

What you don’t understand
Is that you will never understand
I will prompt questions
Because I will always mislead

What you don’t understand
Is that your time is short
You will soon wilt
Because freedom will **** a *****



All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2011. Mark Lecuona

Don't ask me who I am
Or what I'm thinking
You will never understand me
Nor will I you
But what we can be together
Is something that we will know very well
Because we dreamed of this moment
All of our lives
It is not what I give to you that matters
It is what you give that is your beauty
And what you give to me now
Is why you wake up every morning
And what I think of you is not what matters
It is only that you became what you wanted to be

Pretty girl standing with her man
The world laid out in front of them
Turning on every moment as best as it can

They had their ups and downs,
Drama film makers, circus clowns
Neither of them wrote the soundtrack
But they knew how to walk among the trees
Listening to autumn voices falling all around

I wanted to tell you long before I knew you
Maybe I’m actually living in that time
But then I thought memories are stronger than hope

You know what you want
Skies that long for your touch
Sunsets that pause to look at you just before they set
Sometimes you think you love nature more than love
But rainbows can't make you feel like the day we first met

Pretty girl standing with her man
Was it yesterday or a dream shared between them?
I hoped it was today because it meant you trusted love again

What is within your reach
Is in the soil beneath your feet
Or the tear on someone’s face
These things that you can touch
And nourish with your care
Can also be made to feel pain
If you think not of their very nature
But only what you would have them be

What you can only see
But not dig with a *****
Or wipe with your fingers
These things you cannot touch
That revolve all around us
Silently comforting us
Without our demands upon them
To be what we would have them be

What you chose to leave behind
Did you know what it was when you met?
Did you know what it was going to be?
Did you know the distance already traveled?
Was its promise too slow to grow?
Was it already planted when you found it?
Did you dig it up and **** its essence,
To be what you would have them be?

What you know now
Is the same that you knew then
The things you can touch
And the things you can only see
Haven’t changed though you have
But what will you do now?
Will you make them like you?
Or let them be what they must be?

The gravel and dust is at eye level
That happens when you are sliding on your roof
The wheels are in the air pointing out your mistakes
I thought about a priest but I cut out the middle man

It’s like living on catsup and boiled water
The soup really doesn’t help but tells the story
There’s no glory in digesting a metaphor for your life
But at least it’s not from somebody else’s can

You see the rocks and leaves fall into their destiny
The tsunami of time and chance does not think about you
It just rolls over you and is shocking in it’s immoral decisions
You thought karma was on your side but that’s not the plan

I bought lunch for a stranger the other day
I overheard her telling the waitress her troubles
I decided to be her angel but she never knew who I was
Now I’m miles away and wondering who am I better than?

I know the answer and you don’t have to point me in the right direction
It’s not something that I can’t sense on my own
Giving twenty dollars away is not exactly setting the world on fire
One day I’ll face the music instead of living life on the lam