don't let your worst thoughts become who you are
i've thought the worst
i've felt the worst
but I don't right now
that doesn't make the past untrue
it only means I have another scar
now I have the chance to meet someone like you
it's only a matter of when and how

When the sun ends
Winter
Where we hurt
Life

When secrets end
Truth
Where we reveal
Friendship

When the moon ends
Longing
Where we cry
Love

When hatred ends
Equality
Where we laugh
Joy

The myth comes alive without asking for any help
It doesn’t care if it’s real or not, only that you believe
We steal from the dead, they can’t defend themselves
The only difference between us is that we can still breathe

I once carried a flower in my hand with no intention
And stared at a painting wondering if it made him cry
The strangest moments give a memory a long life
But the last time I smiled I couldn’t remember why

I’ve never made someone up in my life, only their feelings
I didn’t know it at the time because I thought it was true
The only thing I know about a walk on scattered sea shells
It’s the best place to narrow my feelings down to a few

I can’t decide if I should fly across the ocean again
I know everything about them, they’re only human
It’s not what they believe or why they  believe it, but
Maybe a different language makes a different woman

Being so far apart gives the smoke a chance to settle
It’s as if being weird is normal instead of like it is here
The sun sets and rises at the same time for two people
Like a life of laughing and crying both far and near

Don’t tell me what you know unless it made you bleed
All the rest was something you read or left behind
I could walk past you again but I’d rather get involved
Tell me what you see in me, I need to know what you find

Only the dead tell the truth
But their mouths are silenced
We accuse our brothers of sin
Are Christ’s words spoken here?

But I don’t believe that
I was born again last night
You made me see the light
I know he will forgive me

I don’t walk around as much
But I still make eye contact
I want to know who you are
I want it to be love and not fear

But it’s so hard to believe
I saw faces on the pavement
Too late for earthly sacrament
Yet from blindness they now see

I want you near my grave when I go
I thought about being scattered about
Maybe memories are better as stars
I’ll let the sun draw your shadow near

But is it late for you to believe?
I’m dedicating my soul to you
Carved stone words are true
My ashes won’t be lost at sea

Walk to me now
Let me carry you
On the light of my life
It's far along the way
If you wish to stay

I want to tell you now
Read a page
It's open to you now
The book is outside
You don't have to hide

A shadow is too sad
You see that now
The hint, so much more
Love, don't keep it inside
Love, don't keep it inside

When she is in your past
    you think of yesterday

When she is in your dreams
    you think of someday

When she is in your arms
    you think of today

When she is in your heart
    you think of everyday

You were always there waiting
For a patch of blue in a storm cloud
So you could smile even as it rained
Because you knew then that what you waited for
Was not a dream but the water that cooled your mind

You felt love before you left him
Just to save your skin before the tree branch fell
And broke into pieces washing ashore at last
Into your parched living room to rest
So you could stitch the dead leaves into your past

In a dream from which you never could awaken
You reached and called a number that never rang
Because the line wasn’t connected to anything
But an erstwhile lover you sat next to on a broken sofa
As you wondered if he would ever know the song you sing

It’s not the thought of real love that hurts so much
But the empty hands of companionship that caresses
Your life and who you are because of all your losses
And the chance you had to be held at night
As the birds teach us to sing a lullaby with our own voices*


Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

I walked a dry creek bed praying for a blessing
But nothing new can happen that happened when I was younger
It may be new to you but I don’t think it’s new to me
I just feel I lived that life already so that’s for you to pray over

I once sailed across a lake in Europe surrounded by mountains
There was a storm brewing and I thought we had enough water
Now I’d take those winds home with me if it meant I’d have a drink
It’s twenty years later and if I never sail again I will still remember

When will the water rise again?
When will the tide sweep over the land?
When will we wash our sins away?
When will we take God’s hand?

Everything I ever touched felt or thought is ready for me now
To not accept the truth of my travels is patching holes in my shoe
I finally realized the answer was really just passing things on
If it comes to my mind somebody gave it to me to give to you

When will the water rise again?
When will the tide sweep over the land?
When will we wash our sins away?
When will we take God’s hand?

I could run away from all my troubles
In fact that’s exactly what I’ve been doing
Discovering the science of life was more important
I never knew that it was me that life was fooling

When will the water rise again?
When will the tide sweep over the land?
When will we wash our sins away?
When will we take God’s hand?

If you love someone
Someone who may be gone
Or still with you
Someone who gave you life
Someone who knew the truth about you
And still loved you
Even if you hurt them

If you knew someone
Who made you feel safe
Even in your worst form
And moments
If someone loves you like that
You cannot give tribute with words
There is nothing that is their equal
You cannot describe it
You can only feel it
Because nothing equals sadness
Nothing equals grief
Nothing equals life
Nothing equals that kind of love
Nothing
But them

I'm staring at a fountain blue
It was what you decided to be
Throwing coins and wading too
I wondered if you noticed me
I don't know how long it will last
Something better happen soon
I can't live tied to a passing mast
Hoping for another harvest moon
I wondered if it would be enough
I watched the side of her face burn
Could she love when life was rough
Or does beauty ever take its turn
To hear you whisper after midnight
While your blinding colors sleep
Will tell me if you prefer the light
Where our confessions never meet

You know you might could just do it
Do your own thing
But nobody’s gonna’ pay you for it
It’s only a way to pay yourself

Go ahead and be you
It’s not easy being different
But it’s easier than being something else
Don’t pick the wrong version of the story

When you decide to breathe again
I hope you’re the one who’s there
When you decide to speak again
I hope you’re the one who cares

It’s time to quit pretending
There’s nothing but pain there
It will happen soon enough for you
But now you belong to your own heart

When you decide to see again
I hope it's you standing in the mirror
When you decide to love again
I hope it's my heart that becomes nearer

Do you want to read it from him, a name you barely recognize
The one who passed long ago with whom you can cannot empathize
In a language you do not comprehend, even if it’s the one you speak
The one that trips your tongue, with words caught in your beak
Do you want to read it from me, the one you do not know
For how can it be relevant when it’s a charlatan who says so?
I will not stand on the shoulders of giants to make you cower
Instead we are eye to eye so you will feel the myths I devour
You won’t utter a word I say from memory because it was important
As you have done so many times with the words that you really want
Not so much because of what they say but rather because of whom
Whose memory is preserved with your approval, his book in your room
Are there no new lessons for you, even if you do not know the mistakes
That loom in your sterile mind which pride knows but foolishly makes
Can your desire for anything but thought be overcome by imploring words?
How does it feel to be trampled when you invited the lost thundering herds?
What error is so grave yet so shallow that you pretend it was as intended?
What day frivolously discarded is so unfulfilling that your worth was rescinded?

Which smile is it today my friend that drifts across your life not knowing when
Yes not knowing when it is appropriate to remain and when it is time to end
Have you received your mark, the one you may well deny some day?
Can you erase it as surely as it was placed, so carefully as you lay?
And yet you do not even know of what I speak yet see so clearly in you
All your beliefs and fears hardening to protect the heart you never knew
You gave it no chance, because what you heard was not what they meant
It grew so fast you had no choice but to endure as your life was spent
Can you imagine yourself doing what it is that I could possibly describe
Even before you know anything except everything you’ve ever felt inside?
Can you make the decision to venture away from everything you’ve believed
If I could prove that it was wrong from the moment it was ever conceived?
Could you believe that the seed was planted with you in mind all the time
And that your anonymity could not conceal you from the idea of their crime?
The one against humanity brought to bear on you alone to suffer endlessly
Because you could only think to follow in the comfort of living callously?

Where is it that you stand, does it provide you the comfort of your worth?
You want what you are not and you deny the truth of your birth
Are you in discomfort because there is nothing here that I have stolen?
Because there is no list of obscure legends in the web I have woven?
The is no reference to the things I say, they are all mine to offer
In time maybe after I am gone you will know that I care how you suffer
But in the instance of these things that I bring to your labored attention
I tell you now that all you can be and all that you are not is my intention
And to think that life is a game to a bitter end of useless knowledge
You can live now, larger than before if you would only acknowledge
That you are the discovery worth pursuing and not what you know of others
For they have their culture and it is time not to join but to leave pretended brothers
For they know you are not about them but about wanting to be like them
In time you will know that you will never be like them because you are not of them
The truth for you to discover are the questions if you can bear to read
For you to discover that what you believe is another man’s creed

And so what national interest is worth the life of a child in forgotten wars?
And so what profit motive is worth the cause of conflict within our shores?
And so what going concern is worth a precious mind that cannot find relief?
And so what flag is worth the pain of a mother's unending grief?
And so what God sets in motion the cause of savage genocide?
And so what mandate sanctions the destruction of an indigenous tribe?
And so who is insane, he who cries before or after the innocent are dead?
And so who is more worthy, he who rules the world or who is misled?
And so what moral code justifies the survival of technical superiority?
And so what certainty sends men to their deaths in the name of destiny?
And so what courage will it take to say, “Never again?”
And so what life will be sacrificed to end the devil’s reign?
And so when will two men with passionate minds come together?
And so why must we hate and cause heartache instead of loving one another?
And so what fail safe point exists to save humanity from our terrors?
And so what decision is rooted in a mistake carried by pall-bearers?
And so what history of life is to be sacrificed to rip a chapter from a book?
And so what memory of the past is unable to see because no one will look?
And so what pride of self is worth the disillusion in the idea of a nation?
And so what lost hope is worth the end of our soul’s salvation?
And so what fear is worth ignoring common decency?
And so what victory is worth torture for expediency?
And so what singular cause is worth the eclipse of those who bring light?
And so what man can decide to shred the Bill of Rights?

Where have all the flowers gone my friend, a nation weeps for you
All we have are words, promises that were never true
A spoken myth passed on, change, a faraway place
Each person longing with nothing but a blank face
The petals wander alone, searching for a stem
Unable to join together, always asking when?
The plow destroyed the garden, war, the hand on the till
We, with our faded memories, take refuge in a pill
The vultures glide above us, silently seeking their prey
We, unknowing, flounder, grasping at honor as we play
Our hearts confront the horror, inviting the bullet home
Take us from this place, it is better to allow our mind to roam
The shores of your mother’s intentions for you are under your feet
Return to your ship or allow the transformation to be complete
In the Diaspora of every emotion you’ve ever felt and denied
The answer lies waiting, but do you know who told the truth and who lied?




COPYRIGHT 2012. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. MARK LECUONA

Sometimes I think I’ve gone too deep into the story that I tell
Is it a way of leaving the past behind or just another place I fell
I wonder which chapter somebody new will come to know
Beautiful woman, the last goodbye can never be like the first hello

Maybe the well from which I draw will finally dry up
My heart will be forced to look for another way to fill my cup
I cannot search for need when I once thought I was so strong
Beautiful woman, it always ends, tells me what I’m doing wrong

I know I must change
And I see the love in your eye
But it’s always a distant shore
Which way will you go my love
Towards the one where we can live again
Or where our dreams only go to die?

I never thought I was clever enough to make blue change its color
But what I think about may be enough to make you forget another
I know the life I have made seems too far away for our worlds to meet
But it’s close enough for the ocean to cool the hot sand under your feet  

You know you must change
And you see the love in my eye
But it’s always a distant shore
Which way should I go my love
Towards the one where we know the answer
Or where our dreams can only go to ask why?

It’s a winter’s day that reminds me how strong a tree can be
The roots we cannot see only hide what is inside a person like me
And when the day comes for me to try to become new once again
Beautiful woman, will you know it’s time to make a new friend?

We know it’s time to change
And we see the love in our eyes
But it’s always a distant shore
Which way should we go my love
Towards the one where we will always smile
Or where our dreams can only go to cry?

It was so long ago
Or was it… yesterday?
Separated by fears
Of love that would not wait

But if I had known
How I would feel today
I would have taken your heart
And shown it a world
Where dreams really do
Dreams really do come true

It’s like a regret
That you always feel in your heart
It’s like a love affair
But only you will play the part
How can I live
When time has left me no choice
But to die or be alone
Because love never found its voice

But if I had known
How I would feel today
I would have taken your heart
And shown it a world
Where dreams really do
Dreams really do come true

I thought I heard you say my name
But your lips never parted
Did I dream again
Or is it time for me to answer them?
I thought I made them up
Instead I was the fiction

It seems my past is now a movie
But the echoes of love sound new
Or the walls in my heart are perfectly formed
The memory of your eyes never fade
And in the darkness where I cannot breathe
The only truth is how much I love you

Where may guile walk
But within the hour of deception?

Where may cunning awaken
But at the dawn of deceit?

The insincere accumulation
Wealth gained without merit
Avarice for advancement
Family name for hubris
Honor for shame
Tradition for currency
Legacy for advantage
Word for reputation

Not born of shrewd duplicity
But fired by the weakness
Of man
In desperation
To elevate his own life
Above that of his mortality
And his fear
Of dying alone
With no mark
Or memory preserved

It’s a matter of knowing
What seems only sadness can comprehend
That a smile is all that can part tears as they fall
Like rocks in a mountain stream riverbed
Swiftly steering the wash along its way
As only a stubborn will to live can
The only voice that matters, the oceans call
Not despair, but happiness instead
No matter how distant
Through faith that can apprehend
The belief, not in sorrow
But in where shells are floating
No longer living for the shores reach
Instead, embarking upon new lands
Gazing at the revealing stars
Whose glow reflects not tears of pain
But the way a smile learns to swim
In unfeeling headwaters
Where only the strong know how to mend

I don’t have to tell you what you mean to me
Because my roots extend all through your life
You can feel the way I draw upon the water
And drop my anchor where love slays strife

Where the soil parts my thoughts become yours
I grow inside the shadows and light of the forest
And though I may be what someone else can see
You are the space where my soul is nourished

But every second I exist within you creates a new life
That is where I find the meaning to live another day
Not in falling leaves that bury memories of yesterday
For my heart is only felt where my roots forever lay

It has been written,
That the Tao that is spoken
Is not the eternal Tao

And yet,
Their tongues dig deep
Into the field of my soul they plow

And so,

How can I find you God?
Your people block my way
The path to salvation
Seems so far away

Help them my God
They know not what they do
Your words they wield
But are they God or are you?

How can I know you God?
When they are so sure
Spoiling your simple message
It no longer seems pure

Help me my God
I cannot see you
Only their dilated eyes
Blocking my view

I am confused my God
You send them to me
Irrational and weak
Destroying all you can be

Where are you my God?
Tell them they are wrong
Only reading the notes
And not hearing the song

Am I lost oh God?
Because they say it so?
Wandering the wilderness
Which way should I go?

Believe in me God
My instincts so clear
Walking through the fire
I sense you are near

Send the message my God
Show them the way
Leave me alone
There command I cannot obey

You are my God
In you I trust
Take me as I am
Only you are just

Teach me God
To see your word
Give me your grace
However undeserved

I feel your image my God
In my emotional depth
Open my eyes to heaven
And show me it's breadth

Is it possible my God
To speak your word
Distorted by man's own image
Can it truly be heard?

When we meet, my God
I will bow in sorrow
For the failures of my mind
With hope for tomorrow

Where is the love that understands love
As a flower understands the sun and rain?
Where is the friend that understands friendship
As an eagle flies with a life adorned with free reign?
Can we raise the level of consciousness between us
To feel the unseen and see what we have never felt?
Where no goal or means to an end will exist
In the canyons carved into our hearts where loneliness will melt
Filling the void as you set sail on my presence in your world
Unthinking but reacting without recognition of roles
Because we are not in love but are love without expectation
As time becomes love lived but no longer measured by our souls

I wouldn’t have thought it
I’ve never been there
So I had to talk about it
With someone who had

Sometimes I laugh without humor
That’s all you can do
Letting it go without anger
That’s how you keep a friend

The sun’s one less problem now
I had to work my way around
I once loved it too much
But that sin is ready to forgive

I like psychedelic butterflies
They can see the air they dodge
Murals welcome them home
It’s up to us to remember them

I’m going to let you see
I’ll stand there while you tell me
What is it that I do to you
Those are the eyes I will believe

There’s a cure I have in mind
I swallowed the pill before we met
Remission is not enough
I’m never going back there again

It’s a song always in my head
I let it happen but I don’t know when
I hear it all the time
Not the same but the feeling instead

I can fade in and out
If you catch me on the bend
Just don’t let your ego cry about it
It’s important to know where I've been

She cried how can I do that
I asked do what
She said you know what I mean
I said when it wears off you won't ask

I wish I knew how to take you there
It's a lonely valley of discovery
I can't speak to you while the music plays
When I tell you my eyes will then become yours

Draw your red lips near my love
Paint a heart-shaped pool upon my chest
Place it above my heart
Fill it with rivers of mascara, until,
to where you lips touched my life it will crest;
neither below or above;
neither wanting or exceeding your will
It is to perfectly cleanse what you past was made of;
and I will wash away your memory of being apart;
from the love that once made you distressed;
Draw your red lips near, my love
Bring them close so you may hear
The beating heart that dark pools of pain cannot arrest
No, for it will no longer be full of fear;
but instead what once thickened the lashes
that no man could tame or ****;
will now become a new start,
for as I receive your love;
what you place upon me will lay it’s head to rest;
a wave softly glistening on sand after it crashes,
as can only faith that has become belief lies still

It’s alright my darling
Tears do not make spots
No one will know your feelings

As they dry upon my garment
Only they will know when you fell out of love with me

Living after the final wave
You think it’s a ******* to catch your breath
Then you realize the ocean has its own life
It told me to drown somewhere else

I pulled each thread apart
Looking for signs of our last moment together
Now they lay in a pile on the floor wondering about me
Who would look for the wind where it began after it has already left?

I try to avoid labels
They're too tightly wound
He said he was a ******
You want to cut your hair

Where you going with that
Was it a mirror talking
Or what your ex said
I think you listen too much

I haven't made up my mind
Ambiguity is always good
Cigarette ash in the chili is not
But I ate some because it's different

I like you a lot
Let me know when you decide
Not about me
But what you want to be

I saw your hair on the floor
I asked them to leave it
It laid there like last night
I wish we were still there

There's no point in repeating
That's right there's no chorus
If that's what you need to remember
Then you're just another brand

What storms exist in a beautiful mind,
   never to pass us by?

Drawing the sun from looming shadows
To separate what is to be known in time
Portioned among swirling ridges of worry
By horizons that never forget to remind

He found the way was not the winds,
   but to walk within the eye

Drawing the calm from looming concerns
To separate might be from once was
Portioned among flower beds to be saved
By those who decided to live just because

Which doors did he lock, trapping forever,
   the Furies that make him cry?

Drawing the good from looming terror
To separate his soul from flesh that breeds
Portioned among those who have not given up
By those who are willing to plant new seeds

Which door remains open within his heart,
   knowing not to ask God why?

Drawing reason from random acts of evil
To separate destiny from forgotten lives
Portioned among those with the will to live
By those who carry on after silent goodbyes

you thought it was her decision
but instead it was you
she was ready to give you everything
but it was you who locked the door
you thought she was on the inside
ignoring the sounds
while you knocked and knocked
but those who live on the streets wonder
why you won't come outside
or let them in
you treat her like a guest
visiting her life
doing her a favor
forgiving her
explaining her away
waiting for her to open the door
the one you closed
and as you sit alone
she feels the same as before
lost
loving a man who cannot love anything
except his own mind

if I don’t understand your intention
or approach from the wrong side,
it’s only because I’m trying to decide;
is it that I believe in your soul or only
your flesh and blood;

hard dreams die too easily if what we
desire is something we do not understand;
perception of what is true may never reveal
itself because fear of rejection is more
powerful than the courage to tell you how
I feel without expectation

i could never understand why you are
the way you are, I can only try to understand
if it is the same way that I am, without
questioning it; I’m not looking for the
answers from you, I only want to see if a
way of life exists near you that is natural
to my own

i watched you paint a canvas even though
I never actually saw you do it; but I could
understand what you felt by the way you
stood next to it, wondering if that part of
your life would endure if not ever happen
again

the exhaustion of revealing the limits of
your creative expression is the same as
the fatigue I feel wondering about pleasing
you;

the thing you never would know is that I
was laughing all week one day last year;
and it was because the world around me
was not trying to pin me down or tell me
what to do

it only was a joke that wasn’t a joke because
though humorous, it was real and taught me
that the best way to trim your sails my way
is to forget all about your soul and just tickle
your feet

I thought to travel abroad again sometime
Even if only for a walk in a park inside a picture
I hope to see a man swing his umbrella
And maybe a military marching band

I don’t know why I should take so much time
I’ll probably see how a woman can love a man
She’ll walk up to him as he watches her silently
As she gets close she’ll softly hold his hand

It doesn’t take a trip to know these things
But it might make it seem less mysterious
A smile over two drinks says so much
Even in a language I cannot understand

I want to see if a swan would die to be free
Or if their graffiti understands an American ghetto
But really I wondered if anyone could fall in love
With someone who can see time as falling sand

I wonder if my dreams could fill a great hall
I once stood alone in front of The Night Watch
Who could trust someone with so much doubt?
But they could see why I was drawn to this land

A tulip in a crowd noticed me though I could not see
You did, but why did you make it so hard for me?
It seems beauty only makes love to wings of thorns
You believed in me once but now my heart is ******

I wondered how long it would take before I could only see your mind
I didn’t long for the day but I knew we’d both leave our lust behind
What takes me an early morning always took you most of the night
I want to see things by day but you don’t like to dream by the light
We sail side by side but my hull is made of steel and yours of wood
We felt the same current but how it affected us we never understood

The blue skies were too few
And the sunrises were too red
Maybe that’s why we drifted apart
What a fisherman knew to be true
We decided to ignore instead
Because we sailed first with our heart

I wondered who would decide which way to go when the skies parted
A storm doesn’t listen but a glistening bow remembers where we started
You don’t forget who you were with when waves are bigger than the boat
That’s not the time for blame it’s just the way love sometimes has to float
We didn’t know if by sail or prop was the best way to turn this thing around
I wanted to believe in your instincts but instead I ran the boat aground

The storms were too many
And the sunsets we barely knew
Maybe that’s why we drifted apart
When the days heat was plenty
And the evening breezes few
We stopped sailing with our heart

Every now and then I look down
It’s not the feeling that something’s wrong
It just reminds me that I’m not the mountain
I don’t like remembering that
It’s the ground beneath me that we love
But who cares what happens to me?

I thought the next step was my last sound
Sweaty palms greeted me tonight
The gravel that spared me is waiting
Or so it seems anyway
It’s not so sensible to think this way
I didn’t work this hard for the things I see

It’s not that I need only flat ground
It’s just that I climbed that day for you
Living on the edge is only for lovers
That kind of stupid is what we long for
Living to die is not how I want it to be

You could meet me outside of town
But will you be her or someone new
I’m not so picky about it anymore
I’m lying again about atmospheres
I believed in perfect switchbacks
Never knowing you lived by the sea

They said there was only one man who lived a perfect life
But the world wasn’t ready for what they couldn’t believe
Even the rock upon which the church was built knew fear
The power of man on earth is what made his faith leave

Life used to be about food and shelter for your family
But life is not kind to a man who rolls up his sleeves
A man gave his land to the children who planted flowers
But when he died peace for a day was something to grieve

The candle flickered and yet the wax remained
It was his time to run and close the window
He wanted to live life without worry of tomorrow
But now tomorrow waited with the news of sorrow

An angel laid her head on a garden hoping nobody would notice
Sent by heaven, she thought of what man could not conceive
An angel was blamed for the fall of man but no one knew why
She wanted to tell them but only God knows why he chose Eve

A lonely man cried, life blamed him for making them feel their guilt
The holes could not hold water because nobody taught him to weave
He knew that people thought it was his fault that he lost her long ago
She was all he could think of but lost love only knows how to deceive

The candle burned brightly and yet the wax was gone
It was his time to run and open the window
He wanted to live life without regret of yesterday
But yesterday reminded him why God made a rainbow

he asked her a question
that made her want to walk away
it was something about the truth
she had just met him
it was already too heavy
he told her
he didn’t change clothes in a phone booth
he didn’t
ride white horses down main street
he just wanted to fall in love
before the sun went down

she couldn’t see it
but she felt it all the same
he didn’t have the time
still he had the heart
would it be enough
his eyes revealed no regret
he felt one thing only
the strength to be alone

she never answered
she had her own problems too
she decided he was an honest man
growing older meant a lot of things
what did she mean to him
love is a stranger sometimes
it was up to her
it always was
the men are always willing
but she wanted to wait
to watch one more sunrise

she wanted his aggression
even if she turned him down
no man was worth his fears
how could he handle her?
if he was afraid of rejection
then he was not strong enough
if only he knew it would work
but beauty makes you wait

Picture perfect like a ballerina waving her arms;
deep gorges and rolling valleys, a morning smile,
but the armies of pain tried to make her forget

She lay awake watching for birds too blind to fly

She wanted to wear her slippers
But the hot embers of war remained
She wanted to twirl on extended toes
But the holes she penetrated had no end

He had thought himself as a fallen prince but she
could not accept cruelty as fateful romance; only
furtive, plaintive, pointed glances remained;
wanting to shatter glass without breaking form
over every new set of lustful eyes

She knew he had never kissed a storm

A black swan; she hated that she had no concern
or seriousness until after it happened and yet he
was also a black swan swimming eagerly towards
her sweet lips

She kissed him as if it was a mistake

He was consumed with fantasy; another knight
pursuing his prey; she knew he was already in love;
it was too easy to hurt a man; every naïve inference
he followed was in reality her rigid body saying no

Ste remembered who slayed her pride setting
in motion the earth’s plates beneath the ocean
that shattered salty skies with its ruthless
obsessive deluge crushing the future

Nothing would ever be perfect again; or was
it that she realized it never was; she knew
normalcy could never reveal her criminal side
or what she would do with a man who knew
how to touch her

She wanted to be wildly melodramatic, but
the elevator would not descend for those
who could not control themselves; the
reflection in her wine glass reminded her
how quickly it would sink into the ******
mess she had become but at least it would
know why being strafed, shot and left for
dead had become so important to her

All this and his lips were still moving, prying
open her mouth so he could pleasure himself;
such a man was not what she wanted but
it was time to let him be a man and she was
willing to donate herself to the cause; if only
he knew how to do it

I want to write a book someday
The pages to be drawn by the things I know
But the story has no way to end
Or any way to go
I thought it would be about me
Until I heard what you had to say
It was about holding hands with God
And it made me want to pray
So maybe now I know where to begin
Even if I don’t know how it will end
You taught me something that day
And it made me want to be your friend
I started thinking about setting suns
And forest fires begging for rain
But then I thought about green grass
Growing where the soil once felt pain
I wanted to take you for a walk
We'd go where the land is flat
I wanted to see how the earth curves
It reminds me how life is like that
Still you didn’t want to see the end
Then you told me the things you said
I didn’t know what anyone could say
But you raised the cup and ate the bread
I hated that I worried about how I looked
Then I realized the book had no pictures
I’ve never seen the real me anyway
I decided to listen to you read the scriptures
I know what God said but this time it was different
I wanted to be you because it was all so real
I don’t know you because we’ve never met
But I love you because you make me feel

I just looked up
What the **** am I doing?
I feel as if I have completely changed
Like I took acid every day for a year
The only people I believe are my children
Because they believe
I hate experience
And cynicism
And being mature
I cannot eliminate desire
It lies beneath the surface

It will never go away

I've become a dream
A movie
Everything about me is now a rerun
The inspiration has been forgotten
All that is left was my reaction
And even that is detached
But why must I watch?
I just want to feel music
The violin
The villain
The guitar
The girl
The voice
The volcano
Images that belong to me fail to light the screen
Only emotion
Not movements
Not stillness
Not laughter
Not crying
Only what I cannot see
Or prove
Do you believe a clowns smile?
Or a strippers?
You can't know
A movie merely scratches
An image merely fools
An aging man knows nothing
And that is the problem
At the height of his powers it becomes obvious
He is nothing
But he must watch reruns of his life acted out by you
You better invent something
Or make people feel
You cannot follow
Or remain sane
You must make your parents proud
Very proud
Or unnerve them
Otherwise he knows how it will end
While you play pretend

He thought about right and wrong; but
it didn’t seem to matter to the wolves
that gathered their forces against an elk
whose merciless death lent red contrast
to their mouths and the snow that fell
silently upon reality

As everyone scrambles for their ancient
texts and what was painstakingly copied by
the counting of each symbol, the strength
to reach into a dead animals heart to
find what if what was meant by survival
of the fittest included God’s word

He felt so far ahead of his time though
he really lived in the past; he saw laughter
he could not hear and cries he hoped
would not last, but to be happy about
simple things meant solace in the silence
of creativity

He preferred the shackles of rebellion rather
than the freedom of acquiescence, but when
veins burst, choking on words that insist upon
opening in the presence of  those who cannot
understand there is nothing he could do except
part the clouds with a trumpet blast

Imperialistic words invade happy moments
As you allow his saber to leave its sheath; we
slowly rub the tips of our fingers across the blade
fully realizing our power yet we only clinch our
teeth; there is too much to lose as we no longer
sleep on a sofa contemplate the dawn of madness

We want to be relevant and only see it in the eyes
of our children but he will let anger boil away all
helplessness; there is no test considered worthy
of a lifetime; he wanted love to be true but who
will really know; it made him wonder if it is for
him or for you

Love became a dark alley where discarded cards
go but he could not be defeated because he plays
no game; you see squares, circles and lines while
he sees space, emptiness and backgrounds; there
is no recognizable pattern that induces confinement
and not one moment of shrewd calculation

He spent money with no thought of tomorrow, no
evidence of presence, but he’s been through that
and what is left are images, spaces and empty places
filled with long ago wonder as he found it was better
to climb a fence than pay the toll for the memory of
a moment of freedom was worth the cost

Rectangle light past tense point of view
Every turn taken; some mistaken
Rising apart from one another; take a look
Every love, every loss
Once caring, now forsaken

Latitude, longitude, diagonal
What difference where it is placed?
Every moment all at once; take a look
Every desire, every misery
Once driven, now waste

She was green
She was purple
She was red
She was only
She was because
She was instead

Measured carefully against the light
My life is somebody else’s art
Which friends to know; take a look
Every laugh, every sorrow
Once together, now apart

I wanted it to be a symphony
But it became a poem from my head
What did I ever say; take a look
Every flower, every desert
Once walking, now in bed

She was pink
She was yellow
She was blue
She was change
She was hard
She was you

Every road I’ve been down
I never knew when they started
Only when they ended; take a look
Every hope, every pain
Once real, now departed

Every love I’ve ever felt
It’s still there you have to believe
You’re inside of me; take a look
Every kiss, every tear
Once love, now we grieve

She was black
She was grey
She was white
She was sun
She was moon
She was light

Who can say
That a white man is wrong
Without saying all white men are wrong?

Who can say
That a black man is wrong
Without saying all black men are wrong?

Who will say it?
Who will admit it?
Who can judge righteously?
Who can judge at all?

Who can say
That a religious man is wrong
Without saying all religious men are wrong?

Who can say
That an atheist is wrong
Without saying all atheists are wrong?

Who will say it?
Who will admit it?
Who can judge righteously?
Who can judge at all?

Who can say
That a gay man is wrong
Without saying all gay man are wrong?

Who can say
That a straight man is wrong
Without saying all straight men are wrong?

Who will say it?
Who will admit it?
Who can judge righteously?
Who can judge at all?

Who can say
That a rich man is wrong
Without saying all rich men are wrong?

Who can say
That a poor man is wrong
Without saying all poor men are wrong?

Who will say it?
Who will admit it?
Who can judge righteously?
Who can judge at all?

There is no meal for a starving child
that will make him forget why he was hungry
There is no freedom for a slave
that will make him forget who kept him in *******
The is no patriotism for an honest man
that will make him ignore the atrocities of his country
There is no ****** of a man who rises up
that will hold the memory of his righteousness hostage

Only God knows all our wrongs
But though arrows point at our souls
The whispers of the lamb dull his vengeance
A man has to die before he lives forever
While parades remind us of his courage
Some stand still thinking only of progress
Train tracks laid across holy ground
Desperate men laid to rest
They ask if evil killed each other
Or did we also sacrifice the saints?
They made peace with their destiny
A story they never thought to question
Right can never observe wrong blithely
And those whose spirits keep watch
Silently shed their hopes for the truth
Because history is still written by man

It is the will

The will to be
The will to give
The will to love
The will to live

That is all there is

Sew and lash
Are you the wind?
Sew and lash
Are you the sail?

You do not believe
You cannot see it

But neither can you see the wind

She dances without music
She can hear what she needs
She is so sure of being herself

But her sails beg for new seeds

The will to be loved
The will to be hurt
The will to cry once more

Whose sails will you fill today?

Sew and lash
Are you the wind?
Sew and lash
Are you the sail?

If there is no solution
Then why do we fight
If we can't change a heart
We can't make it right
It's not so easy to say
What one man will do
He has lived his life
He has his point of view
He doesn't know you
There's no time to try
He only sees your anger
And can't understand why
Who tells us the truth
Who tells us to repent
Is it a poor man crying
Or the one collecting rent

Who loves life more than those who have no riches
Except for their children who have to be taught to be sad?
Who weeps more for a poor man who perishes
Except for the woman whose heart beat is all he had?

Or is it a man who has too much to lose?

Who loves the land more upon which they wander
Except those who know others do not value their worth?
Who weeps more than those risking their lives crossing a river
Except ancestors sleeping in graves already erased from this earth?

Or is it a man who owns the land with all the rules?

Who loves their children more than those who have nothing to give them
Except for those who do not ask them to glorify their parents?
Who weeps more for the offspring who must learn to be men and women
Except for those who teach them how life does not give always give presents?

Or is it a man whose children do not have holes in their shoes?

Who loves the sun, moon and the stars that await them each morning
Except those who claim them because they are the chosen ones?
Who loves the silent force inside that compels a smile instead of mourning
Except those who allow the spirit to be strong until their judgment day comes?

Or is it a man who knows it is between Jesus or riches that he must choose?

Who weeps for their children other than the poor
while we watch and blame them for wanting more
while they raise a glass of tears they drank from before

Who lives in the world we try desperately to hide
where death lurks within the time it must bide
where oceans of fear roll striking before the tide

Who entered your heart without invitation
to cultivate their own garden in soil so foreign
to share in its fruit before the dawn of emotion

Who would know of a God the world does ignore
in darkness where plans are made to make war
in darkness with broken promises they once swore

Why is there so much hate
   when each of us loves someone?
Why is there so little love
   when we all feel love on the inside?
Why did I have to lose you
   to know all the things I did wrong?
Why did I have to lose you
   to know what I should have known?
Why can life mean so little
   when losing someone means so much?
Why can I live without you
   when I love you more than life?

I know a gift when I see one
And that’s what you are to me
There's nothing that you want
Except eyes that only your scars can see

Neither one of us expect to love again
It’s as if we never knew how
We know one another
Yet our hearts only see strangers now

I can see you
But I can no longer speak
I once made you laugh
So why do I feel so weak?

It’s sad to think of never again
We build walls we never lower
We blame the future on our past
Our affection is a princess locked in a tower

I can see you
But I can no longer speak
I once made you laugh
So why do I feel so weak?

There is nothing you have to do
No promises
No midnight calls
Just let it be me when the time is right
Why does it seem like leaving you alone is best?
I’m not going to repeat all his lines
It just makes it seem like someone else's night

I can see you
But I can no longer speak
I once made you laugh
So why do I feel so weak?

Why are our soldiers dying?
While their unborn children are crying
A nation plays, ignoring their pain
Dreaming only of personal and capital gain
Our anger has become numb
We are blind, deaf and dumb
We sleep, secure inside the fortress
His memory, filling an empty mattress
Where the dreams of a soldier remain
Never knowing if they were in vain
Instead they remain a faceless pawn
To be used by those who are wrong
While the sheep continue to wander
Unknowing in the fields only to squander
Our knowledge and ability to alter
A nation’s soul, so we continue to falter
On the path to progressive enlightenment
And instead living a life that is abhorrent
To the whole of mankind and its ideals
Refusing to grant audience to the appeals
Of the weakest among us all
Who historically take the fall
For the ambitions of the soulless ones
Trample upon the bones of our sons
Diluting the water of courage
Creating an atmosphere to discourage
The rising of righteousness as we should
To band together in a peaceful brotherhood
Of good Samaritans praying for equality
And to end the marriage of life and frivolity
For within a man of peace has become death
And within our hearts remain his last breath

Don’t give to her reluctantly
or resentfully
There are no warnings in her life;
no blinking lights
She knows any moment could be the last
Not for life; at least not her own;
no, it wouldn’t be right
Instead, it must be all around her;
to the things or people she loves
Life prefers cruelty to kindness;
to win an unjust fight
But she said, “I won’t give you up;
it’s not time yet”
It will always be her nature;
no matter the frost upon her heart,
the path remains steadfast in her sight

For it is written to grant forgiveness
No matter difference or malfeasance
To never speak ill of one another
Or deny each other our subsistence

All men are created equal parchment
Holding these truths to be self-evident
The oppression of the Kings colony
Patriotic revolutionary

Migrating minds irrational to sane
Reserved safe harbor but to others pain
Land of self-righteousness and victory
Exceptionalism and destiny

Ships billowing with holds of chattel slaves
Fractional human beings ordained graves
Until brother killed brother for freedom
Assassination emancipation

Forty acres and a mule recompense
Jim Crow separate but equal pretense
Lynch mob street justice terrorism rope
Vietnam veteran unable to cope

James Earl Ray bullet Memphis balcony
Bull Connor another dead Kennedy
Black power fist raised Mexico City
Malcolm X panther Muhammed Ali

White supremacy freedom riders dead
Mississippi white cross on fire dread
Rodney King can’t we just get along plea
Is skin color all we will ever see?

Should they get over their Mockingbird past
Should they burn the city or should they fast?
Oh Lord should we turn a cheek in silence
Or fight with Kings dream of non-violence?