I spend my nights in empty bed sheets
swallowing the words words I want to say
because it seems easier than admitting my fear
that no one will ever suit me quite as well as you
I dwell in all of our might've been's
until I'm drunk on all of the things you'll never hear
and my cheeks are stained with faded memories of you

the miles never mattered to you
and I'm aware that the messes I've made have left me with the kind of scars that scare people away
but I told you the way the rain that day seemed to wash them all away
and you always said that storms were your favorite
so you bring the rain
and I'll bring my shame
we can go anywhere as long as it's far from here

to all the worlds inside of me I've tried to hide
for the sake of infatuation
boys like simplicity
so simple I will be
but who am I without my thoughts
who am I without metaphors for love
you want to trace the maps of my skin
without hearing of the places I've been
I refuse to soften myself
for your own indulgement

I seem to bruise every thing I touch
I act on my feelings as if everyone knows what it's like to feel so much you can't think straight
please excuse the messes I make
pure intentions mixed with bad habits
I care about everything and I care about you
I just never learned how to show it without creating chaos

If you fall in love with yourself the way you want to be loved
you'll stop letting strangers take refuge in your body
a temporary home for a boy who doesn't care to understand you
If you could look at your reflection and find beauty in the spaces between your teeth
you'll learn lessons in the pieces of your shame
and you'll no longer feel safe in the arms of foreigners
your skin is your sanctuary
short-term visitors are not worthy of resting in it

Boy,
I don't mean to sound like a *****,
But take your arm off my shoulders.
This body is mine.

Don't slide your hand up my leg
Like your fingers are lost and looking for a home.
Don't assume that I want to touch you
This body is mine.

This body,
She has climbed mountains
And swam in the ocean,
Walked through forests and crowds and battles
Like you will never know.

If I am hesitant to be with you,
Know that it is not your right
To be offended.

I am striving to reach
Peace
With this vessel I call home,
I will put her first.

I'm not sorry to tell you:
This body is mine.