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14.8k · Apr 2018
self worth (5w)
maddy Apr 2018
self worth is self hope
how much do you have?
1.3k · Jul 2018
stuck
maddy Jul 2018
how is it that months later I'm still stuck to you

no speaking, nothing, I'm stuck to you

I haven't seen your face yet im stuck to you

and my heart can't calm down because I'm stuck to you

I want nothing more than to be unstuck from you

but I can't let you go, I'm stuck to you
can you tell that i feel stuck?
992 · Apr 2019
taste of love
maddy Apr 2019
so succulent
is love as it leaves your mouth

but how bitter and rancid it may be
when it tries to force its way back in
887 · Jan 2019
I'm on Saturn (reverse)
maddy Jan 2019
legs crossed

sitting silent

staring down

earth spins

axis slanted

ᴵᴹ ᴼᴺ ˢᴬᵀᵁᴿᴺ

axis slanted

earth spins

staring down

sitting silent

legs crossed
high there... by the way you can read this from top to bottom or bottom to top!
maddy Feb 2019
hate burns
hate seethes
fill up a tub
and bathe in it

soaking in hate
dripping with rage
fresh out of the tub
hate has me coated

feelings of anger
feelings of loathing
seep, sink deep
way into my skin

hate absorbs into me
fills my bloodstream
hate running
through my veins

pumping through my blood
fueling my brain
hate is powerful
it masks my pain

so i take a bath
in all the rage
and hope im unchained
from this dumb ******* cage
why am i so so angry and mad
718 · Dec 2018
Untitled
maddy Dec 2018
your smile radiates love,
and your blue eyes show your soul.
by the awe Ive been struck with,
your filling up the part of my heart with a hole

I love you so
but you already know
but under that Gorillaz tshirt
your love, oh it glows

everything about you
for you I am smitten
inching me closer to falling
fell for you.....

I M A K I T T EN
thanks
was gonna be nice but my bad humor kicked in
maddy Nov 2018
here i am
so fricking irritated
i cant get on
and i just want to play
so mojang LET ME ON
let me get on some server
or create my own world
i just want to build stuff
thank you
also if you have minecraft
and no longer play
please give me your account
thank you again
this is my rant for today
i know it isnt a poem
i really want to play minecraft guys so if you have an account and wanna let me have it because you dont play anymore, please let me know:)
558 · Mar 2019
cause I love me
maddy Mar 2019
readjusting to things I know
coming to love things I don't

on a self love and self care high
don't need drugs when I've already reached the sky

finding I love the little weird flaws
only patting my back
not scratching with claws

and loving me so has helped me love you
for if I didn't love me
I wouldn't see the things you do

I can open my heart
and believe all you say
because look at me now, it's a new day

chris can you see
that I'm loving me?

cause I'm loving you too
and im always loving we
I have finally gotten to a new path:)
465 · Feb 2019
broke
maddy Feb 2019
and as you broke my heart
the piece that was yours fell
and got lost
465 · Oct 2018
a dream
maddy Oct 2018
bathing in honey
surrounded by sweet
dreaming of vast fields
flowers under my feet

beauty in the scent
that swims through the air
feeling so free
hands in his hair

staring at stars
that cover the sky
he holds my hand
and i feel as though i could fly

although im on the ground
and its silent, not a sound
i feel it start to happen
my heart begins to pound

so much joy overcomes me
as i lay in the flowers
as i look to my right
i know i could be with him for hours

so much love and content
nature kissing me so
i appreciate his presence
and smile to let him know
i love him
412 · Oct 2018
sun
maddy Oct 2018
sun
a tickle in my cheeks forms,
as a smile drapes across my face.
light shimmers in my eyes ,
as i stare into the sun.
the sun is blonde and kind,
and smiles when i smile.
did you know the sun has eyes?
i did.
theyre quite beautiful actually.
the sun is soft,
you dont burn from its touch,
but it definitely lights a fire.
a fire that begins from the deepest inside
and spreads quickly to your surface.
that tickle in your cheeks?
it never goes away.
that smile sprawled across your face?
permanently singed onto you.
so you squint as you stare at the sun
because you never want to lose that feeling.
more love <3 <3
346 · Dec 2018
fleeing feelings, return
maddy Dec 2018
darling don't you love me
like I love you

scared of the strength in my feelings
and nowhere to run to

thinking of you with intensity
a strength that I can't understand

as I fear for my feelings
you readily take my hand

you jump with me so far
down into this void

a void that seems empty
but is really filled with joy

maybe it's less of a void
and more of a pit


but because I jumped with you
I hope I never get out of it
<3
278 · Feb 2019
you are my sun
maddy Feb 2019
sun is shining
beautiful day
not a single cloud
not a drop of grey

the sun beats down
with its strong rays
feelings of warmth
all in a haze

then the sun lowers
but it doesn't set
it comes to me
and it's warmth I still get

but the sun is a planet,
it can't travel.
well thats where you're wrong
because this sun walks on gravel

my sun is human
my sun is you
my sun is warm
and it never leaves me blue

Chris, you are my sun
and you keep me warm
you keep each day bright
and keep away any storm
I love you Chris... happy valentines day:)
273 · May 2019
hard to admit
maddy May 2019
lying to myself
and lying to you
saying I don't love you
but oh boy I really do

heart strong stays strong
throughout the day
but as night crawls in
my tears come out to play

my body aches for love
but only if its yours
and waiting in this grey zone
is covering me in sores

I feel like I'm in pain
with all the feelings I clutter
but theres nothing I can say
because your heart will never flutter
maddy Apr 2018
lies and deceit
pool at my feet

you deny and deny
and you lie and you lie

can’t you see i’m in pain
shattered like a window pane

your games, they’re unfair
cause me to dwell in despair

but i’m wrapped around your finger
and I still seem to linger

because I love you so
I won’t let go

and I’ll stick around
you know that I will

because I know that you’ll change
I just have to stop acting deranged
this is taken from really old emotions from last year, but still worth the poem!!
258 · Apr 2018
The hole
maddy Apr 2018
How come overtime I feel like things are getting better,
It just goes back and
grabs
my ankle,
yanking me back down
into that deep black pit of pure
nothing.

But why is this hole in my home?
and why is it in my bedroom?
at the foot of my bed.
What lies in it?
the monster?
the monster that grabs you when you try to cool?
is it hot lava you swore you wouldn't touch,
by jumping chair to chair?
Why is this hole that
consistently
brings you down,
living in the place you love most?

why does it keep you stuck in your bed
as it it slowly develops the floor around you,
so you can't get up?
and when it does finally find a way to just
pull you back in,
why is that the time you
think
that you've found a way to get out of it?
a way to get up and out of bed
and over the lava
and across that monster.
why is it strongest
when you are at your strongest?

and when you think you've risen above it
it grows two times your size,
and steps right on your back,
paralyzing you of any control or mobility
over the life you felt you could build.

when you've finally chosen to Stand up,
it stands up with you and gets right in your way.

stop thinking you've got it in your control,
when its clearly so far out o your hands
you can't even see it.
stop trying to take what is not even tangible.
you haven't got it.
its not yours and it never was.

if it takes you that much time to get up
and out of bed,
and across that hole and over that lava,
its really not worth trying.
it would come so much easier if it was meant to be,
it would come to you.

whats the point in continuously trying
when you fall right back into that same hole
time and time again?
except somehow each time you fall,
you go deeper than before.
stop trying.
if you stay there
how much deeper can the hole really get?

wallow in that hole,
as you watch the world around you move
right in front of your glossed eyes.
yet its all outside the pit.

you are meant to stay there.
in that pit.
in the hole.
stop trying to climb out
if you've already tried endless times.
If you haven't gotten out by now,
are you really supposed to?

What good are you if you just sit
and watch a world around you.
you can't move,
yet everyone else can pursue
goals,
dreams,
achieve great things,
and all you do is watch.
and try to get out.
but mostly watch.

so stop watching and waiting,
its pointless.
it is time that you withered away,
slowly fading into nothing.
stop it all now.
I just noticed I go from talking about myself to talking to myself. its weird.sorry this is so sad, bad days do this kind of thing
247 · Dec 2018
like nothing else
maddy Dec 2018
i love you like nothing else

the smell of rain could never compare

i love you like nothing  else

the sound of thunder could never compare

i love you like nothing else

the look of lightning could never compare

i love you like nothing else

the taste of humid air could never compare

i love you like nothing else

i may love a big storm, but i love you more
love love love love love
243 · Apr 2018
its there, you know it.
maddy Apr 2018
An ever-lasting buzz
Oh you can feel it in your face

Your cheeks blazing
Red with passion

It radiates off your skin
Following you everywhere

You can never feel down
Its always consuming you

Its warm tender hands caressing your arms
Telling you its there

You know its there

Let the feelings melt into you.
Lay them out,
hot in the sun.

slowly seeping into your skin.
let them fill you with warmth.

fill you with joy

breathe in the air
as you feel it at the back of your throat
you can feel the love
as it tickles you on its way down

taste it.
feel it.
love it.

its there.
you know it is
this ones about my boyfriend. he generally makes me feel a lot better about my bad days. he's the best.
maddy Apr 2018
ah how kindly
he strokes your peach fuzz covered cheeks

he stares into your deep brown eyes
and you feel him looking into your soul

you connect as his hand
reaches for yours, interlocking

finger woven through finger
blazing heat lingers between your palms

your mind melts
your heart tightens

you can't think of anything
except for how you feel

heart is pounding
can he tell?

hands are shaky
surely he knows.

breath is stiff
don't pass out.

so kind and comforting
are thoughts of him

your gaze slowly drifts back to his face
and you stare with intent

you melt and re-melt
everytime he blinks

each second you hold your stare
his presence becomes warmer

he is so beautiful
you think to yourself

your faces grow closer
nose touching nose

your heart stops racing
you've grown calm

yay
thinking of really happy recent memories usually brings on this type of poetry.
238 · Oct 2018
flora and fauna
maddy Oct 2018
captivating stare
eyes deep blue
shimmer and glints
they care for you

soft cheeks
kindest smile
talk for years
walk for miles

hands intertwined
warm embace
nervous laughter
grinning face

graceful movement
cloud-like lips
id be happy stranded in the ocean
if you were the ship

not strung along
same spot together
feelings for you
like sunny weather

i smile with you here
i smile with you gone
if my smiles were a garden
they'd fill up a whole lawn

there'd be fauna, there'd be flora
flowers blooming like its spring
this garden of mine is full
and cant wait to see what it brings

colour bursting out of petals
not a thorny stem in sight
each time we pick a flower
the day grows to be more bright

youre the sun and the moon and the stars
youre the clouds and the sky and the sun
youre the day and the night and between
thank god for the washing machine
<3 <3 <3 <3 :) :) :) :)
220 · Feb 2019
forgotten not lost
maddy Feb 2019
sometimes I forget the things I care about
but I don't leave them behind

sometimes they sit in the back of my brain for months
but they're still around

sometimes I reach in into the depths of my mind
because God knows ill go searching for them again

sometimes I feel like I'm a bad person for forgetting
but forgetting is normal, abandoning is not

you'll never catch me abandoning the things I care for
because they're only ever forgotten, never lost
this is about hobbies not people
208 · Sep 2018
this is clearly what i want
maddy Sep 2018
this is not what i want. this is not what i want. this is not what i want. this is not what i want. this is not what i want. this is not what i want.
i cant handle this right now, tonight is awful
207 · Apr 2019
cold front
maddy Apr 2019
slowly beginning to feel warm
while cold stealthily creeps its way up your back
crawling into your head
freezing all warmth
and freeing the path for negativity to sink in
:)
196 · Oct 2018
things
maddy Oct 2018
sweet cherries
pretty fairies
things that are good

torrential downpour
what am i here for?
things that are bad

beauty and kindness
down to earth soul
things that are you

love and sparks
both of our hearts
things that we have

you
us two
things that i have

me
we
things that you have

eachother
one another
things that we have
love love love!!
191 · Mar 2019
silly bean
maddy Mar 2019
You're so silly
make me laugh
words fall out of me
laughter polluting the air

smiles for days
grinning oh so wide
happy smeared across my face
goodness melting into my lips

your humor brings me joy
a smile on my face
laughter in my mouth
thanks for being a silly bean:)
189 · Mar 2019
journey to loving you
maddy Mar 2019
loving your self is a journey

through the deepest swamps
over the steepest mountains
under the heaviest of rocks

you must unravel yourself
from a maze of trees
that may very well blind you
from continuing on your path

but through all of the nature
that may hold you back
you learn resilience
and strength
against all elements and forces

though blindness,
exhaustion, weakness
may seem like they're against you

they truly are on your side
to build your muscle and
give you sight,
expand your lungs

so you can breathe in

breathe a new fresh air of you
a breath filled with love
that seemingly took so long
to hunt for
but the hunt is over
and nature comes to you
and hugs you so tightly
and reminds you

it is not nature in your way
of loving yourself
it is you
I recognize this poem has no structure but that's exactly why I like it:)
maddy Apr 2019
how can you go from pouring your heart out into me
to mopping up the mess as though it never happened
176 · Jan 2019
blind
maddy Jan 2019
where am I
I can't see anything around me
engulfed by a storm of blankness
so mind-blowingly numb
not bitter nor happy
no feelings within me
blind to the good of life
why am I sad again
167 · Apr 2019
you hurt me a lot
maddy Apr 2019
hurting caused by you is the worst kind of pain
and I never thought you would break your promises
but when they broke they took my heart with them
so I sit here and suffer in silence
as I question what is best for me
I love you like no other, but hate you more than ever
nothing hurts like the feeling of losing you
but my brain reacts the same way when I think of life with you
the love of my life shouldn't be the pain of my existence
yet here I am
stuck between so many options
wishing things never changed in the first place
159 · Sep 2018
finally fine
maddy Sep 2018
finally starting
to feel better
baby I just
burned your sweater

memories gone
but thats okay
I didn't need you
anyways

the sky was dark
but now it's day
it's become clear
I had no say

I'm glad youre gone
cause with you here
anxiety beckoned
beside my ear

a constant worry
that swarmed my face
has been blown away
to outer space

I'm safe on my own
but in not confined
by your chains and restraints
I'm finally fine
cheers to feeling better
maddy Jun 2019
feelings pierce me
gut me
grasp me
**** me

and each and everytime they force me down
they then pick me back up
patch up my wounds
and wait again to pierce my healing scars
this actually is about love but interpret as you will
137 · Mar 2019
Sorrow without reason
maddy Mar 2019
Feelings fall freely from me
As if I never meant to keep them in

Sadness pours out of me
Like I wanted it to well up in the first place

Sorrow encompasses me
As if I so wanted to encase myself

For some reason I keep soaking my pillow
regardless of the love that surrounds me

My brain can’t keep its balance
So I find myself weeping over nothing

Somehow my life feels like its breaking
Even though I have no hammer to shatter it

I'm not asking for these feelings
So please leave me alone, won’t you?
Whenever I *** I get so sad:)
131 · Dec 2018
I am this way
maddy Dec 2018
cant tell if I'm doing things right
its what keeps me awake during night

nervous from nerves that I feel
but are my anxieties all really real?

hoping to please my lover
never to bombard or to smother

yet I feel that this is what I do
have myself thinking inside of your shoes

I feel you think I bother and annoy
kind of like a loud kids toy

yet this is not what I strive to be
that's what I keep trying to get you to see

I just worry so much that I fail
hide my worries with a smile like a veil

I try to tell you each of the worries
but I fear I'll be too much and you'll scurry

I overanalyze more than an analyst
I'm like Holmes with a bit of twist

I can't keep my feelings in, good and bad
which terrifies me, I might add

and because of the strength of my clutch
that's why I over think you to much

but chris all I really want to do
is show you that I love you
I am the world's biggest overthinker and I can never tell if people tolerate me or are genuinely OK with it.
129 · Sep 2018
?
maddy Sep 2018
?
im so confused and it makes me sad
said it there ^
126 · Mar 2019
little smirk
maddy Mar 2019
one thing that makes me happy little smirk that appears on your face when I realize I've said something you like.
<3
124 · Jan 2019
Chris
maddy Jan 2019
as I stare into you and you stare into me
I know, I know, we were meant to be

you make me smile more than I have ever
smiles being just one reason I am so happy we're together

home is where I am, whenever Im with you
whenever we're together, theres nothing id rather do

love is like me; complicated, but always trying to be there
and just like love, I always want to be in your life because I care

I know that you're for me, and I know that I'm for you
and regardless of all my ups and downs, I think you know this too

I'm sorry that I can be so much, and so constrictive like a glove
but because theres so much to me, theres so much more to love

I have so much love for you, and as you know it makes me cry
its just so hard to comprehend, and I really wish I knew why

all I know is that being with you is a blessing, one we share together
and Chris I know you hear me say it, but I want to be with you forever

so thank you for being my love, and for being so much more
because if it weren't for you, id be missing part of my core
I love you so much
122 · Sep 2018
the summer
maddy Sep 2018
sunshine
honey dew

pew pew pew
shoot the water gun

summertime
flower

raindrop
on a petal

sitting
hot metal

bench, old man
reaches out his hand

spent all my money
french fries
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