Regardless of what the future holds, I know
that no feat of mathematical precision
no combination of zeroes and ones
no mechanical tool, no algorithm
can replicate your face.
In the rise and fall of your eyelids
and the pursing of your lips
there is a lawless radiance.

Drinking today just borrows tomorrow’s happiness.
You aren’t the only one who thinks about going home and killing themselves.
Poetry and *** are an enthralling combination.
You’re not a ‘young girl’- you’re an actual real person.
In reality, all that every person wants is love, happiness, and acceptance- keep that in mind.
Sometimes it feels like everything good has been whitewashed out of your world,
Yet it still goes on. You go on.  
Be proud of yourself for being alive-
Sometimes that’s all there is to be proud of.
Coping tactics don’t always work.
Words are important- speak up.
It is your own birthright to die- no one can take that from you.
When you understand your own deepest,
Darkest inner workings- you’ll be invaluable in helping others-
So don’t be afraid of self-reflection even though it’s hard.
Put up a fight for what you love.
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

I did it again
I degraded myself
I let myself slip away
I let myself go

The demon took over me
Its laughing at me now
Im pathetic, im young
I fall so easily into traps i build for myself

Clueless
Naive
Lost

I have became the monster that was hidden within me

I remember when I was 4.
I remember the terrors.
I remember waking up to the fighting,
The mini wars.

I remember being locked
Outside all day,
While they snorted and smoked.
I remember being lonely and
Depressed most of my life.

I remember seeing that gun
Held to my mother's head.
I remember the fear.
I remember when they left.

I remember the cuts on my thighs
And how hard they were to hide.
I remember the last time I saw him.
I remember the pain of watching
Him smile and as we left.

I remember the beatings.
I remember the feeling of being used.
I remember it all in such great detail.

Betrayal is the closest friend
and the most eager lover.

Betrayal is the whetted apathy towards the willow tree
that lay in the rubble of old letters and scents.

Betrayal feels nothing
but joy in itself, blinded by its ignorance.

Betrayal is the abrasive hug
and the facile drawings of a thundered smile.

Betrayal feeds the poppies
and waters the corpse.

Betrayal is the closest friend
and the most eager lover.

I ripped these poems out just as roughly
as you ripped me from your heart
I hate how
you're the blood to my veins
the good to my bye and
I really hate how you grew poisonous flowers in my rib cage
how you entered me like nicotine and
how my lungs are now filled with a grey dark cloud

don't you ever dare say that you never felt anything and
that I once wasn't the light of your life and
that I didn't know anything about you
because we were strangers who
knew each other very well

I loved you more than the sea loves the shore
and you drowned me in a beautiful deep blue sea

j.f

Time is only a peace keeper.
Left to babysit the helpless.
It leaves us in handcuffs wrestling with priorities for the sane-less.
We fold our hands and twiddle our thumbs
hoping for silence which never comes.
We are broken in the shadows of a downtrodden land
and we are never affixed to see what it is that holds us to the ground.
I reach for something so far in the distance,
it's as if I'm a toddler grasping for vision.
I don't walk without stumbling and I promise you I'm not perfect.
But how in this world are we supposed to live with purpose?