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when I was a little girl I used to walk the streets alone

I met this man with horns and a tail, he was all alone
something about him was charming and made me stay
he asked me to sit with him, he wanted to tell me a story

it was a story about the ABC's of death
and I could never get it out of my head

A was for accidentally falling for someone
B was for broken, something all humans are
C was for compassion, a thing he never showed

the story was long and cruel, it always made me wonder
if all these things are really true, what does love mean
if the demons that are haunting me at night are real
and they are here to come and get me, what does life mean

Im scared to go to sleep tonight I dont want to die
if I could just lay my head on your chest to hear your heartbeat
maybe when Im with you the devil wouldn't dare to torture me
maybe the voices would stop talking when Im around you

but you always was more like the sun
something the moon could never touch

the ABC's of death, my death.
Im scared okay
I never asked you to bring me the horizon
I never dared to dream about having you

after a while I still didn't knew where I was looking for
I always thought that I was looking for something called love
but I began to realize love is not just a simple word made out of letters

I adored him for the way he looked, dark and dangerous
the tattoos on his arms and neck, the piercing in his lip
I fell in love with his personality, his kind and loving heart
the way he looked at me everytime I walked into the room

this boy could make my heart skip a beat without doing anything
loving him was the most real thing I have ever felt in my entire life
through all the tears and constant fear of not being good enough
he always made me feel special, he gave me everything I needed

I still remember the first day I saw you
you were wearing a black band tshirt with ripped sleeves
it was your smile what made me stare at you, it made me melt
I knew I wanted to have this human in my life, forever

from that day love wasn't just a word anymore.
Im just a sucker for love and Im not even trying to help myself.
we shouldn't spill our secrets like we spill our drinks, reckless

it was the season of the sun and all I could think about was her
the girl with eyes so beautiful you couldn't even describe them
the season of flowers in every kind of color, long nights and butterflies
the summer always was the most magical time of the year

riddels are just riddels and words are just words
you can compare it with the water in a river, the waves in the sea
all these things are just like the stars twinkling in the dark of the night

things are just things untill someone gives a meaning to it
and for me you gave everything in my life a meaning
that moment when you came around love wasn't just love
I can give you all my heart without getting anything back
and still this person would make me feel more complete

we both knew how it felt to be obsessed with someone
and maybe it was a dangerous thing to began with
but everytime I saw you walking away from me
my love for you began to grow, a little more, every single day
it came to a point that I didn't wanted to share her, with anyone
not even with my bestfriend, she needed to be mine, only mine
and I know she felt this way about me too, this need to have someone
maybe our love is a little bit cursed or a little bit mad maybe crazy

oh well oh well
so I was at work and I wrote a poem.
there once was a girl with beautiful sad blue eyes

she wrote stories about the moon and the twinkling stars above
because they were a million miles away and no one could ever touch
these things in the sky were so vulnerable yet untouchable, innocent

she sang little melodies about people who were so crazy in love
she could sing those songs with so much emotion and happiness
yet this girl was the one walking around wondering
if she could ever know how it felt, the feeling of being in love

this girl had her own way of living in this angry big world
she saw the beauty in normal things like a smile or a hug
but not just in things she saw beauty also in human beings

or maybe all of this was just an act..
to hide her own little problems for everyone else, the world
maybe the smile that she wore on her face everyday was fake
maybe I saw the beauty in everything else because beauty
was the one thing I could never find within myself

and maybe that is why I got a soft spot
for all the broken childeren out there who feel alone or left out
because everytime I look into the mirror..
I see a broken child, myself.
were is the bottle of ***** when you need it.
there will be a time when your story will end
but for now you can just turn the pages forward
looking for the better more beautiful chapters in your life
making some good old memories you will never forget

there will be time when you will fall in love
maybe with your bestfriend or maybe with a stranger
you are young and gorgeous, a little bit to innocent they say
so please my love don't let them take adventage of your broken heart

and one day you will find your own way to happiness

loving this girl was so magical and strange
she has these blue eyes that make me go crazy, all the time
she has this smile on her face when she looks at me, it makes me melt

Im searching for more words to describe how I feel but I simply can't
and maybe that's what being in love needs to feel like, rare, special
the fact something is so complicated and mysterious
that you just can't find the right words..
but even your bestfriend was a stranger once.
I loved you because you were broken
my soul could look at yours and see home

every minute we spend together was like drowing in the ocean
I would sink deeper and deeper and eventually I would choke
but the darkness of the water never botherd me, I liked it
maybe because you were always there with me

in the morning I would look up and see the sunlight
coming through my window, the lights would touch my face
and every single morning when I would open my eyes
the first thing I always think of is you and how much I love you

I wish I could have you near me, like everyday
but we both know that never was a great idea
after a while we would remember how much we are a like
and I would hate you for being that way, you would hate me
maybe that is why you are my soulmate, why I love you

Im looking for parts of myself in the people I love
it gives me comfort knowing there are kids out there who are like me
a little bit mad, a little bit broken, but with golden hearts and voices

I always loved the idea of us being in love forever.
a lovestory about two broken teenagers that would never work out.
this stupid love song should not remind you of him

maybe I was never the right girl for this boy
but he was the one who didn't wanted to give it a try
I broke down before his eyes and it wasn't the first time

I need to stop thinking about this boy
but those night with him were my most favorite thing in the world
whenever I was near him the world was a little bit more beautiful
and no not the kind of beautiful you can describe in words

I dont want to use you as a distraction
just because I cant get over this ******* with blue eyes
you are treating me so good yes you really are an angel
and yes maybe you are the best thing that ever happend to me
but that also is the reason it is so hard to love you

the nights are longer when Im not around you
I can feel the summer coming and I need you near me
maybe it will take months for us to talk again, like we used you
but I dont mind my dear, I will be here waiting for you

I will be waiting here untill the night gets shorter...
because the summer always was and always be our thing.
wrote this a long time ago. still wanted to post because back than those feelings were real.
when we are little everything seems big

the older people will tell you scary stories about the world
how it changed over the years and how you should live
they will tell you all the things you never wanted to hear

but they wont tell you about the flowers and gardens
about the oceans and birds flying in the sky, the sunrise
the stories about happiness are like a forbidden secret
something you need to discover yourself in this world

I always wanted to die young because growing up scared me
I remember saying these terrible things to myself in the mirror
things like you wont ever reach seventeen, you are not worth living

and now Im sitting in my room at the age of seventeen
still discovering the little secret called happiness
maybe I will never figure it out or maybe I do someday

oh well for now Im just fine with being a teenager in love.
oh well
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