maybe it was drugs maybe it was love maybe it was something else
I kissed you that day but I blame you for being gorgeous
everyone is addicted to something, you were mine addiction
the kids were a mess and everything was dark, a good kind of dark
I was cold but you always kissed me, even that forbidden night
nobody was patient and nobody was fine and nobody knew love
we were loving to each other when the others weren't watching
this love was bad, you were bad, I was bad, the world was bad
you could turn an angel into a demon without even trying
and I saw you staring at me again that night, I notice everything you do
it was the same look again and I couldn't do anything to handle myself
maybe I hugged you and it was wrong of me to do that
maybe you kissed me on that midnight street and it felt right
this fairytale isn't finished yet and everything will end up destroyed
so maybe it was the drugs or maybe this is all made up in my head.
fake fake fake non fake fake not.
the angels ****** me up with their blue heavenly demon eyes
and still everything just seems more clear here on the other side
you were white and I was black, you were the sun and I the moon
most of the time we belonged to each other, we just never belonged
it was a game for the one's who wanted to play, you never wanted to play
love was like walking when there was no rain, walking in the sun
and leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did, until I did it
you never loved reading books the way I did, we were different
but again we always knew that we were not the same human being
this boy would consider himself smart when I could only see sadness
his broken dreams made me question my own broken little world
I wanted to escape for the summer, maybe for the rest of my life
living my life on the run, forever avoiding your killer green eyes
I could never swim in cold water and you were never here to teach me
I was living for the nights where I didn't cry myself to sleep
the days were my stomach wasn't filled with medication I didn't need
it was like you all stopped caring about me when my eyes went dark
you were afraid of me and I could understand why, I was afraid too
making fun of yourself in a non self harming way is one thing I couldn't
self harming in a way it was fun for the both of us, is what I always could
mama told you it was because of the friends you made outside
the truth is I don't have a clue about what she is talking, friends?
so there once was a girl and everyone thought she was special
a rare kind of special, you could look at her and forget all your misery
your daddy never loved you and thats why you are so ****** up
your family abandoned you and now you are here all alone, again
but don't you worry pretty thing, nobody will cry for you this time
always talking about trying to fix us, always talking, never actions
the people in her home town told her she was going to hell
and she always smiled because maybe hell is where she belonged
sick of hiding and always trying to fit into this messed up broken world
maybe this little thing was enough for her to go away for good..
because at this tiny magical moment where you stopped caring about me
so did I.
I dont write when I feel happy, expect a lot of writings from now on.
will tomorrow feel like yesterday if we do meet again today
it was like breathing but different, yesterday we felt more alive
these days you don't know how to act normally without your pills
and these are also the days you don't how to feel anything without them
maybe it was love last night maybe it was just another misunderstanding
the thing I know is that you made me feel uncomfortable in a good way
you thought I couldn't see how ****** up you were because it was dark
but my heart was just as dark and I could see right through you..
maybe it felt like being in love with someone you only just met
picking flowers in a field where everything was already dying of pain
oh yesterday was a special night, kind of broken yet a rare kind of magical
we didn't even kiss last night you just held my hand all night long
we had a great time and we laughed a lot and you were nice to me
and maybe that was love
hiii feelings I can not give a place.
I could swallow a pill to take away the poison, I could do it all
my heart was beating for the people who didn't have one
dancing in a crowded room with all kind of different people, wonderful
drinking to much alcohol and you knew this was going to be the night
he never loved her in the way she loved him or he just never showed it
either you want me or you don't, just know that I am going tomorrow
she was leaving to a place were nobody would know her name, no one
somewhere were she could find peace and happiness with another human
after I told you to leave, you didn't even try to stay in my life, you left
my door was open, my heart was open and there you went, like the wind
the flowers kept growing just as the distance between us, the distance
once we were close, we couldn't be apart, that was a long time ago
he loved reading novels and so did she, they were the same yet weren't
they weren't the same but maybe they wanted to be the same ..
he loved reading novels and she pretended that her life was one...
but he always was a little bit broken, a little lost, he could never save her
heroes don't belong in a world were everything is perfect.
everyone was in love with when you didn't even love yourself
cause you are now eighteen and drink a little less than you did before
everything what once happened in your life still ***** you up every day
but you found other ways too deal with it, you found the peace within
cause you are now eighteen and still sleep with stuffed animals in bed
and sometimes the scars on your arms take you back into the past..
you can see yourself laying on the ground again, bruised and broken..
growing older was like looking in the mirror but than looking deeper
your hair went from blonde to black, your freckles were fading..
but you still looked beautiful, she always looked wonderful, dramatic
she always was the laugh of the party, she was crazy, she was fearless
and all that you could see of her was only the half of what she really was
when it was cold outside no angel was going to spread his wings
in darkness it was just you and me and no one who would save us
I missed the little talks we always had on our way home, back to you
everyone was in love with her and she was the only one who didn't see it.