Trembling with every thought of him
I ache a love I can never achieve
I hold my emotions captive in this dreadful tin
I mean no harm, I just love, will it **** you to believe?

I’m not trying to take him from you
My heart is red and not blue
He’s something completely out of my reach
His heart is extremely difficult to breach,
you’re the only gifted one here
don’t worry it’s not that difficult to bear
or maybe it just is...

I have but accepted my place
within the zones of friendship
I've only suffered from a fallen grace
and a heart which has been ripped
But who cares about the shattered love
Maybe it’s just the one above
God Almighty,
I shall never doubt thee
For he knows best

Come to think of it,
What have I lost?
Nothing to be exact
It is he who lost something
something real and true;
my love that is.

-fir.m

The year of the downfall
The year of the broken
The month when every human built walls
The month when returned with pride every token
The week of the undying lust
The week of the of the pardons of the unjust
The day the skyscrapers fell
The day the dirt started to rot
The hour of the broken majestic bell
The hour of your first cut
The moment of truth
The moment of dead roots

Those are nothing,
Nothing,
Compared to
     That moment I lost you.  ~~

-fir.m

I basket-ed my wounds
With the sole purpose of still being your friend
But all it did was made me feel swooned
Only hoping that this torture would end
As every second passes by; seeing you with her
My heart aches with profound jealousy
Why can't I stop loving further?
For this pain takes me day by day breathlessly...
Every image of you etches in my mind; sealed
I imagine your words to her being sweeter than wine...
I just wish that the devil was real
So i could purchase your love with mine

-fir.m

Now i'm wearing this smile that i don't believe in
And inside i feel like screaming
     I had options;
     You were my chance to completion
     And when you leaned close to kiss me
     There was drowning melancholy
     But I kissed my fears; instead of you
And now towards me you've grown blue.
Eventually my heart gone sore
And i'm drowning in a water-less floor
It hurts to acknowledge the feelings that I hide
Fearing that destiny would not abide
It's not your fault, i swear
It might just be too hard to bear..
For who would truly love a girl with all these scars?

-fir.m

Beauty.
The standard goal.
Society kills me.
They tell you to “be yourself, you’re beautiful”
Judge you for it,
Then encourage you to do it again.
Who are they to decide?
In fact, who decided the status quo,
What determines true beauty?
They say everyone’s beautiful in their own way,
But that’s just the appetizer.
The main course is the “fact” that everyone’s different,.
And in order to achieve the standard level of “perfect”,
“Buy this item! It’ll make you more perfect, I swear!”
“Wear these clothes, it’ll complement the parts of your body we’ve defined as
‘Attractive’!”
“Do these workouts, it’ll give you a flatter stomach, tighter abs, a sexier beach body!”
The fact that they took our weak spot,
Perfection
And dangled the idea,
The possibility in front of us
To sell their products
To keep us coming back, to make money
Because, let’s be real, money’s everything.
They convince us that we can achieve something that doesn't exist,
But we want it to,
We hope for it,
Because….what?
Looks are everything?
No.
In 80 years, we’ll all look old and weird, so what’s the point?
Look good everyday,
Hope someone finds you attractive,
Potentially fall in “love” with somebody who only desires your looks?
If that’s your goal, ***, you've got your priorities mixed up
Life’s not gonna care whether you’re
Attractive,
Ugly,
Skinny,
Thick,
Short,
Tall,
Smart,
Stupi­d,
Or the greatest person alive.
It’s gonna knock you down no matter what,
And in 120 years, we’ll all be dead anyway.
Why waste your time hoping to accomplish a false reality,
So you can live your years in luxury,
Rather than just being thankful and happy?
Don’t spend your time trying to get to what you don’t even want,
But have been programmed to accept.
Re-program yourself.
***** the system.

My mind wants you to go
But my heart stooped too low
It wants you clenched in the fists of unbidden desires
But your patience slowly expired
You said Goodbye
And in ignorance I ****** my tears dry
I didn't attempt to stop you
You didn't turn around to meet my view

    What was that bittersweet agony?
That buried into my head; your melodies
Your unsought words drowns me in an ocean-less pit...
As I walked the lanes where to you I became whit
I reminisce on the first word you ever said to me
And compared it to the last and undoubtedly
They sounded the same...

   Unsure if you ever did love me at all
I try to **** your memories growing tall
With bursting flames
Seaming through my veins
I dig a grave for your souvenirs
And slowly peer at the dirt; reincarnating my tears
Did i do the right thing?
For the pain of being without, stings
Like snowflakes against zinc

But then what if it is for the better?
Somewhat like an investment letter
Where I forego you for something prettier to come
or not?
Who knows?

-fir.m

Being over driven by youthful desires
She fell asleep with her tears on fire
Will she live to tell another tale of heartbreak?
Will she live to see through the fake?
Who knows?
Her heart, unfortunately, grows
Her blood oozing out of her wrists
Her dreams became brutal from being bliss
"Why was I so stupid?" she sleep-talks
"Someone, please pull that trigger!" she sleep-walks

The anxiety for morning to reach died
The thought of a future became pesticide
For the only future she knew was with him..
The blade made love to her from her shoulders down to her limbs
Until there was no more pleasure to escape through her veins, through her skin
She lost... But what did he win?
Nothing but absolute guilt, at her funeral, where he looked above
And only remembered her sweet gesture of; "Give me Love"

-fir.m