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Lavina Akari Mar 2016
i stole the constellations
from the inky sky and spent hours
stitching them into my snow white flesh.
i dazzle and shine but now the heavens
are darker than my thoughts and
the unilluminated sky cries to me
woeful of their loss.

the moon, you see, she's so alone,
and it grieves her to think of her children
so far from home.

these diamonds look beautiful on me
but they cannot tell their story when they are
trapped underneath the itching sleeves of my sweater.
Lavina Akari Mar 2016
the static has tiptoed across me from my brain into my lungs,
electrifying each and every one of my breaths into
sharp icicles and lightning bolts.

white noise vibrating against my skin as the ice cold
waves
rock me back and forth
as if they are nursing a newborn baby.
the cold trickles down me and makes me shiver

my limbs are blue and my lips are blue and i am floating
floating
floating
somewhere safer.
Lavina Akari Mar 2016
23rd March

the Earths surface becomes softer as the moons full face comes into my view.
maybe it is easier to dig my own grave at this time of year, i feel like there are already maggots wriggling under my old flesh.

this is a time for balance, this is a time for new life. birds peak through the cracks in their eggshells and the fresh
daffodils bud and bloom and reach out to the bleeding sun and ask him to love them and the sun replies "i do love you, each and every one of you"
he brings me new days but they go so fast that i
find myself getting dizzy.
i want time to stand still so i can catch my breath.

new life surrounds us the day my heart stops beating and soon
the warm spring breeze will catch my corpse and blow it away
Lavina Akari Mar 2016
22nd February

perfection.
order.
beauty.
the three things i crave.

ice white, snow white, matching your pale complexion
as you sit in the cold.
your blue fingertips resting on the pearl coloured blanket
that envelops the Earth,
drowning every noise that tries to come to the surface.

each snowflake beautifully carved and structured.
unique, pure, perfect
falling gently, willingly,
from the sky
to the ground.

the silence does its job so well that i fear
i may have lost my hearing yet inside
i am frantically thrashing and screaming.
i am watching the frost crawl across your skin, wrapping you
like bandages and taking you
home.

there is an ice shard in my chest piercing my heart.
one day i wish to be as peaceful as the snow
Lavina Akari Mar 2016
January 24th

I have dragged my body through the first lunar cycle
on my hands and knees, pathetically crawling to my last days on Earth.
The illuminating moonlight bleeds through the clouds and covers the shell that I call a body like a blanket.

It's face is a wolf, prideful and strong and courageous
and I am so jealous of the power it has.

The silver light dazzles on my skin, warms me, clothes me
kisses every inch of me.
I feel its energy in my veins swimming in my blood as the wolf howls and its voice floods my ears
and I shine and everyone turns to admire my beauty.

The moon cannot shine without help from the sun,
and now I will shine upon them
Lavina Akari Mar 2016
a box,
so small my limbs are tangled and tied and bent in all directions
to fit me in.
i want to speak up, to scream and say something
but i am crushing my own lungs to the point where i can't even form a
whisper.

i love them all
i love them all
i love them all
but this small box can only fit one.

i beg to be bought a new one so we may all hold hands
but the only thing i am holding is a beating heart and in order to change i must
crush it between my fingers and lap up the blood that
runs down my arm.

i have always been clumsy so loving someone
who is made of glass is a challenge i am not yet prepared for.
yet here i am, and here i want to be.
sorry doesn't fix anything but I am truly sorry
Lavina Akari Mar 2016
i can still see you, no matter how hard i scrub this eraser
your face won't go away.
it's almost as if your death has been tattooed to the backs of my eyelids and some sick ******* has scribbled your name on every wall of this broken home.

i cut your name into my skin so i wouldn't forget it
but now it's the only thing i can seem to remember.

every day i wake up and i see you die,
i eat my breakfast and i listen to your heartbeat come to a halt.
i go outside and i hear your fading laughter in the warm breeze.
you're in every empty room playing the piano,
touching the keys so gently as if they are made of glass.
when the burning sun sets and dresses the world in shades of oranges and pinks i see your coffin being lowered into the ground and when the beautiful dawn breaks over us i don't see you rise with it.
you die in my dreams, you die when i'm awake, you die in every sapphire in every drop of water you die in the skies and the dirt and the raging fires that burn everything i love to the ground. you die in the dazzling storms, you die in the calm, you die in the night and the day and you die every day, day after day.

everywhere i go, i see you die.
you won't rest, aren't you tired of dying?
i want to move past you, but you're stuck in my brain
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