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Lavina Akari Mar 2016
I am blue and stuck inside a solid crystal of ice and
you are the fire here to thaw me out and melt away my sadness
as light bleeds through my curtains and I
bleed through my bandages
I will feel the warmth from you covering my stone cold wounds
and fusing them back together as if
the sunbeams radiating from your smile act like stitches healing my tired and broken flesh
my chest was once a hollow and frozen cage and  it is now burning
as if you relit my heart and my
veins which were once nothing but icicles have flames and electricity surging through them
one day I will stop seeing red and start seeing gold and I hope over time blue will become your favourite colour
Lavina Akari Mar 2016
377
miles and miles that run between us.

whilst I am crumbling and falling apart and you are dragging your body through hell we stumble upon each others echoed voices
in the dark
the whispers make the stars light up above me and slowly guide me to you
and I paint pictures of you in my head wrapped in my arms with the pale moon reflecting in your eyes.
these miles are slowly shrinking and closing between us, this feeling shattering through my body like I'd pulled a trigger on a gun

all of the miles between us close in, until there are none.
Lavina Akari Aug 2015
do not be seduced by those with a reputation of a heartbreaker

do not allow them to strum on your heartstrings
because you are not someone's instrument.
do not misinterpret their charms as care or love for you

do not allow them to throw beautiful words down your throat at night
because you will wake up in the morning choking on them
and they will be nowhere to be found.
how can you call for help if you can't breathe?
Lavina Akari Aug 2015
it started early 2012 in the late afternoon
some girl told him she liked him he said 'i love you too'
i opened cutlery drawers trying to find a knife
and i spent the whole night wanting to end my life.
this went on for some months and then i lost my appetite
i couldnt stop the voices, what im thinking wasn't right.

but, two years on here i stand
wounds all healed but they still hurt, oh man...

you see there's some strength i found
think it belonged to someone else
i sat and drank it on my own
watching all the other girls
i felt it coursing through my veins but
everything, it felt the same
this numbness in the pain - i'm so tired of this game

but, two years on here i stand,
i'm still not 6 feet in the ground
my head it hurts but earlier on i found these great pills

you see i met this girl sometime you see her head it was a mess
and her body, so so small, it weighed a lot less
than my leg, my anything but she isn't here anymore
i'll read her little note, i've read it 16 times before

'simple things might be a chore, like breathing, showering and feeding,
but i simply don't have energy, and right now, i am bleeding.
depression comes with a knife but all i have is this spoon'
then she looked into the sky and whispered 'nana, i'll see you soon'

not much later mother walked in and there, she was found
and now she's sleeping happily, deep under the ground

this isn't right, for anyone
she should be out having fun
smiling, spinning in the sun
but, i guess, life isn't for everyone

i think im lucky, think God loves me
cause i thought that i would die,
told myself i wasn't worth it but that was a ******* lie

because three years on, here i stand
i love myself, i love me cause i can
i think you should love yourself too
with your pretty little eyes the shades of blue
your hands are shaking, mine are too
but please, hold on i promise you, that i will hold you,
help you as much as i can. but its a one-man battle and i can only pick up pieces
i need to call someone for help, God i hope someone can reach us
this i a song i wrote early last year and finished tonight and thought I'd upload it for you to read.
Lavina Akari Aug 2014
i couldn't love myself
i used it all up on you
Lavina Akari Aug 2014
around this time last year
you were asleep because you fell down the stairs

i waited at a meteor shower and wished for you and
you awoke the next day, but then you went away

this year i went and wished on you again
please come back, i miss you so

your brittle bones must have strengthened by now

i can't wait to see you,
i'll see you soon
Oh, Xavier, when will you come home
Lavina Akari Aug 2014
i know you're hurting
you're walking a lonely road with no streetlights
and you can hear rustling but see nothing
don't stumble, lean on me
i'm here in this darkness with you and
i will hold your hand through it all
if you get scared, give it a squeeze
my eyes are watering but your legs
are shaking
i'm tired but i'll try to carry you
we'll get through this together

my best friend and i seem to be in a very rough patch at the same time
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