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excuse me while I write
another poem
one that I know
you will never read
but hopefully
you can understand
the pain you're giving
to me
Give me a mediocre man
Because a man who is too anything
Too talented
Too handsome
Too smart
Too perfect
Is someone I couldn't live with
Because while I worshipped at their feet
They would begin to forget
Why it is, they would choose
Someone as lame as me
Welcome to your new home
I'm sorry about the mess
But the last person who lived in here
Left it a bit of a wreck
They often used harsh language
and smoked too many cigarettes
they were rough around the edges
and all around a mess
They passed that on to me
and for I while I joined in
But then it became painful to me
In nothing could I win
But they packed up and left
and I went through rehabilitation
So here I am before you
refreshed and anew
and now I wish to open my heart
once again for you
So come make a happy home
lay your self to rest
It all belongs to you now
I give you all my best.
Could you take my hand
Just for a moment
So I can have some semblance
of security
I want you
to tell me
you love me
Those three words
Would mean everything
To my poor
And ragged heart
Give it life
Restart it's beat
With three words
Short and sweet
I want you
To tell me
You love me
The same way
I love you
I pity those who
will never know
the immense pain
that love will bring
What is love
Other than pain and despair
With a little bit of happiness
Here and there.
I'm struggling with guilt
After leaving lipstick on your collar
And hickeys on your shoulder
I think of how
I used to smile for you
offer you more and more
until I had nothing else to give.
how empty
how lost and lonely
I always felt
and I believed I had enjoyed it
How easily I lied
to myself and to you
in order to make you feel better
while I still went through hell.
all you can say
is that I didn't see
how much you cared
but really, what was there to see?
other than the tears
and the pain
and the desire
the lust for your love
the love I could never win
even though I laid claim to it.
How unfair you were
though I am not bitter
Because now he makes me smile
and it feels genuine
and best of all,
he smiles back.
My heart had your name
written on it so clearly
but your heart
only had a small smudge
where my name should have been.
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