I use a suppression
To the ADD
I call it depression

12/13/2019

Why do regrets only come
In the dark cloak of night
When you are most alone
And your thoughts spiral
Into the black hoard of darkness
Night is
An emotional tornado
And I am a flat landscape
Waiting to be wrecked

Hearts ache
Another pill to take
Dark dreams
Silent screams
You awake in the night
But are too afraid to turn on the light
Fear grips you at the very core
Until you finally get the courage to say
"No more."

One
Two
And before I can count to three
I have fallen down a hole
Upon where
There is no return

I write as if I know the caress of a hand
As it traces its way down my skin
Sensations interwoven together
To form the most sacred kind of feeling
But I have never touched a boy in my life
Which is a tragedy in and of its own

With a pen in her hand
She is ready to put her heart on the page
But no words come
For they had been stolen
Before she could even write

It's the wind that lingers
After the warmth of skin
Is now gone
And the cold breeze
Brushes against your skin
Making you crave
A night with a lover
Once again

08/03/2020

I never knew
That angels
Dressed in mundane clothing
Could enter my life
And offer up shards of light
To slowly piece together
My fractured heart

10/21/2019

Poetry is the passion to my life
Work is just a side gig
To keep the mechanics going

It began with a lie
Sewn into the fabric of my mind
He hummed a sweet lullaby
That made me want to cry
And with a poisonous kiss
He would say goodnight




11/6/2020

She regretted her words
Like the knife she cut on her skin
As compensation for her crimes




08/25/2020

It's always right about now
That all the suitors leave
They stand in a line
With advertisements of
"Eternal love"
And
"I think you're beautiful"
But they all leave
After the beauty
Showed them the beast

It is your inherit right
To have a love
That breaches beyond the bounds of death
And cradles you like the stars do the moon

If romanticism
Is the foundation of modern love
Then I will romanticize
Til' the day I die

10/21/2019

Written on my hands
Are all the secrets I wish to tell you
But my hands remain in clenched fists
So tight the ink begins to seep

Gunshots pierce through my ears rendering me deaf
The amount of carcasses leaves me speechless
A bomb combusts before my eyes and I am blind
Gas fills my nostrils and I can now no longer smell
So much pain from the wounds and now I can't feel
Senses of war

He is light
And I am a shadow of what once was
An ember that still tries to burn





08/24/2020

All it took was one crack
On an already fragile glass
To send me shattering
Into a million tiny pieces

My friend sits across from me
In some cafe I don't know the name of
Her demeanor remains confident
She's poised
Elegant
And gives me the smile
That has stolen too many hearts
She talks about her life
As if it was painted by an artist
But in those sky-blue eyes
You can see a shimmer
Of what looks like a tear
But no tears are shed
And she laughs it off
But I know behind that smile
She's breaking

"No."
She whispers to herself
As his snake-like hand
Slithers down her spine
But she does not stop him
For fear that the snake might bite
So she remains paralyzed
Frozen
As anyone would do
If they were in the presence of a snake

It is so dumb
This humdrum
That is so tiresome
Troublesome
Bothersome
Wearisome
I just want some...
Thing

9/17/2019

I wrote you a song
But it had no words
Just interwoven notes
Tied together to form
The most wordless song
I'd ever heard

Sometimes I wish I could have a little star of my own
That could whisper tiny star-secrets into my ear
Because stars are the best listeners
And tell the best stories

If someone's got a problem with me
They can stand by and watch
They can even bark a few words
But girl
You best be knowing imma walk past em'
Because I am on my own runway show
And don't have time to stop
For those with bad fashion taste

Her once hazel eyes
Are now tinted with red
And her cheeks are flushed
With mother nature's own blush
Her lip trembles
As a raindrop slides down
The canvas that is her face
And although she weeps
It's more like a painting
Than a scene from a movie

12-29-2018

For every tear
You made her cry
God has kept count

And her father
Has a whole storeroom
Filled with the tears
He has collected
Over the years

So don't make her cry

What is your dream?
I say to him across a worn out desk
And his eyes sparked
But he was shy
Hesitant
Slow
To open up about his
Most prized possessions
And as all fireworks go
One spark led to an explosion of words
And I became mesmerized  
As he shared
Every
Single
Dream
And basked in the vibrant life of this boy--
A dreamer
In a classroom far too small
In a body far too little
To contain such magnificent dreams

I gave you my heart on a silver platter
Not that it would even matter

Whether I adorned you in gold
Or loved you until we grew old

Your love was far too great a price
And there remains my one and only vice

To love to deep is such a burden
And on the stage of love
I draw the curtain

10/21/2019

I was so hesitant
Like a newly hatched bird
Ready for the jump
But I did not do it
Instead I stayed closer to the nest
Where it was comfortable
Where I could watch
But the more I watched you
Flying around in the sky
Coercing me to come forward
Just a little more
I wanted to know the dance
That you danced so well
So with the courage of a broken heart
I lept

There is an infamous industry
Called Customer Service
And all of its employees fall prey
To the worst of human beings

I recall a time where a man
Adorned with a frown on his face
Asked me a question
In the which I responded

But with his brows furrowed
And a huff in his chest
He told me
"That is the worst advice I have ever hear."

With a sigh
And a "tsk" on my tongue
I said
"You are the worst man I have ever met."

I've searched my whole life
In the darkest crevices
At the tallest heights
In the most hidden of shadows
And under the heaviest rocks
But I can't seem to find you anywhere
And when they say you'll find the one
I begin to doubt them

What if my words could be an echo into your abyss, a light in the tunnel?
What if I engraved you in the palm of my hands and cradled you for an eternity?
What if I could kiss away all the scars on your body?
What if I told you I would've given the sun, the earth, and all I had just so you could know what sacrifice meant?
What if staying meant waiting in the living room for you to come home every day?
What if I had too much love to give?
What if you threw it all away?

4-3-2019

Here I write words
That could never be uttered
For fear
Fright
Vulnerability
And every other barrier
That got be one mile farther from you

Here are words
I whisper to myself as I drift to sleep
Because in dreams
Things are not as they seem
You and I
Place both of our hearts on the table
Willing to speak

Although I feel like
A hollowed out shell
Too empty to fill
And too easy to break
Most nights I spend
Crying a sea
Of salt water tears
I bathe in the
Lonely waters
And rinse away
All the hurt
And when I come clean
I breathe in
And breathe out
One breath
To let me know
That I am still here
That this is not all

It began with a fiery passion
   Formed deep in the earth
      Where heat raged against pressure
         But it was a love that possessed
            Too much pressure
               That burst at the seams
                  From the very depths
                     Of an ancient volcano
                        And unleashed a rain of ash and smoke
                           Now these two lovers are
                              Free falling
                                 And winding
                                    They clash against the water
                                 In the heat of a riptide
                              Yanking back and forth
                           Until the water threatens
                        To drown their lungs
                     But a wave of sorrow
                  Carries them
               Limp
            And completely exhausted
         Onto the beach
      Where coarse sand is their bed
   And salty water
Is replaced by salty tears
                                                           ­              As a storm begins to form
On the black and white horizon

Boxed off in a corner
I try to test my boundaries
Go to the limits
But the more I push
The more the line recedes
And I feel my small space
Growing ever smaller
So I submit to the space that confines me

We walked on a tight rope
Balancing
But also dancing
A ferocious dance
That was bound to result
In one of us falling