It in the palm of my hand
I hold the smallest diary
With the largest secrets

So tell me what it's like
To dream of black and white
To watch the colors fade away
At the break of day

Tell me what it's like
To become defenseless,
Fearful, submissive, helpless
And lose the fight

Tell me what it's like
To see strong spirits
Passionate, and full of life
Change to faded gray

Tell me what it's like
To hold his hand
Love him for eternity
Just because you can

Tell me what it's like
To finally walk the road
That leads to truth
A road no one knows

Tell me what it’s like
To leap across time
To unknown lands of fate
And leave fears behind

Tell me what it's like
To be a meek child
Be born of pure innocence
If only for a while

Tell me what it's like
To witness all of the seasons
Become the same
Without any reasons

Tell me what it's like
To see an ember
Come to life
Like a raging fire

So tonight watch all of the stars fade
And the moonlight die
Let God determine their fate
Like victors writing history

Watch every candlelight
Be doused and suffocated
Destroy them in the night
Overcast them with darkness

What do you see in your dreams
Paint colors with your own imagination
For in our dreams we can do anything
Let nothing be evident
Release it all

So in my dreams tonight
All of my colors will fade
As I dream of black and white

In response to a,
"How are you doing?"
I beamed the brightest smile
And responded with a,
"Good."
But I was not good,
Nor bad
Nor fine
Nor any manner of redundant emotions
But I was lonely
Despite the friends
The family
The boy
And it stirred up a flame of anger in my heart.
How could I be lonely
When I did not deserve it?
In an attempt to fan the flames
I texted
I called
I talked
And did everything I could
To shun the feeling
That is loneliness
But what I did not realize
Is that at this moment in time
On this day
In this hour
I was meant to feel lonely
Loneliness was meant to enter into the home of my heart
And that is okay
So next time he comes along
I am going to open the door
Pull out a chair
Grab him some tea
And abide with him for a moment
Because as crazy as it sounds
Loneliness makes me feel
A little less lonely

I fall through a chasm of cracks
Deeper into the depths of something
So treacherous and so fantastic
My breath is halted
And all I can do is
Fall
Fall into you
Into the water blue eyes
That are as tumultuous as the waves
It is a dangerous adventure that I gladly take

Deep within the dense forest
Of your mind
Lies a treasure chest
That lies collecting dust,
A pity for such a valuable thing--
Maybe its time to open it?

Tick tock
Time
Telling
Me
To
Take
More
Time
Turning
Tales
Into
Truths--

True love
Taking
Tormenting
Terrifying
Touching
Trusting

True love is timeless
True love demands time
So take your time

3-25-2019

When I asked you
"Are you okay?"
You said nothing
But two seconds of your silence
Spoke two-thousand words
You simply could not say

You could've given me the stars
Wrapped in silver wrapping paper
And it still wouldn't be enough

10/21/2019

They say it was a love crafted
By a sculpture who knew their art
But my heart does not follow its design
And no matter how much I try
To conjure up butterflies
Ever time his eyes find mine
I lie
To satisfy a match made by heaven
Or a sculpture
Or whatever
Infinite oblivion determines such things

Constantly craving
The attention
Of an unwanted suitor
Is the greatest folly
Of a well-mannered woman




9/3/2020

I apologize for actions that are not mine
As I grip chocolate and roses in hand
Whispering the words-
I am sorry






12/14/2020

When you and I become
Us
Two lovers intertwined
Wrapping around the other in an intricate dance
We sew our hearts together
With the thread of our souls
Soul mate
And so much more

She used to have a lilting tone
In her voice when she spoke
I remember the sparkle
In her eyes
That used to gleam
There was so much about her
That used to be so
So bright
So lovely
So kind
So creative
So
So
So
Not what she is now

12/6/2019

They were always like waves
Crashing
Pulling
Reeling me in
To their rock bottom sea
And that was where I always landed
Into rock bottom relationships
With a lover
Always by the seashore

3/2/2020

What a gift it was
To have you in my bed
What a gift it was
To leave a text unread
What a gift it was
To leave those words unsaid
What a gift it was
To move on instead



8/11/2020

The sun never shines on lovers
For it is at night under the covers

That the moon gives way to desire
To light their love with fire

10/22/2019

When you find him
He will not be amongst the skyscrapers
But in the meadows of trees

When you find him
He will not be with the champions
But with the poor in heart

When you find him
He will not have silver
But will have grain

When you find him
He will be the giver of your heart's desire
Not a thief of the night

When you find him
You will know
That he is the one





09/13/2020

Wrong choice
They breathed down my neck
And I felt like I was suffocating
Under the pressure
Of a thousand whispers
Shouted from a distance

They told me love would come in disguise
Like a stranger who would be my demise

They told me that love was an inevitability
Like Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility

They told me to prioritize my own needs
In a society surrounded by greed

They told me that children were a burden
And that fathers were not for certain

But when I found love
It came without me knowing
Unbeknownst to me this love was showing
All the hidden colors I could never see
With anyone else
But my lover and me

Love was my best friend
A friend that would never end



09/13/2020

She was a blazing wildfire
But what she didn't realize
Is that she danced with a prince
Who carried ashes in his pockets

10/21/2019

I write words with a blueprint in my mind
But somehow
Common sense always gets left behind

Like a parent trying to tame a child
I reign in the words
With an iron-grip bridle

But the words will do what they do
Because words my dear
Could never be controlled by you

12/17/2018

A heart made of ice
With no cold there is no warmth
I embrace the snow




12/18/2020

After a long day's work
And an appetite drained
Of all its creativity
I sit blankly at my table
Without a single morsel to eat

But a dusty book
On a hand-me-down shelf
Beckons to me
"Come and partake"

Curiously I turn the pages
Of this long forgotten book
And see in front of me
A book full of
The most appetizing of meals

If I wasn't hungry before
I was now

12/09/2018

There are words
Barred behind gates
That have been shut for too long
And wrapped in your arms
On a hand-me-down bed
I feel the gates crumbling
And the three words
I love you in my ear

You said you felt safe
Cradled in my arms
I didn't want to let you go
Because I was afraid
That your demons were lurking
Right outside the door
And darling
I would love nothing more
Than to **** them for you