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1.2k · Jun 2018
I Hate School
kim Jun 2018
I am 14
I go to school
I do my times tables
I write my essays
I do my homework
I get shot

I am 14
I’m stressed about school
I’m worried about my grades slipping
I’m nervous when talking to my crush
I’m anxious when speaking in front of the class
I’m scared that the sound I heard was a madman with a gun

I am 14
I am confused
I am frustrated
I am enraged
I am scared
I am hiding under my desk trying not to scream

I am 14
I hate school
But for the wrong reasons
I hate it because people have died in my halls
I hate it because every sound I hear is a gun being shot
I hate it because I’m scared I’m going to die
694 · Jun 2018
He Loves Me
kim Jun 2018
He is kind, holds me lovingly
His hands are soft against my skin
He whispers kindness in my ears
His words are like honey, sickeningly sweet
He loves me

His hands are rough and strong
Wrapped tightly around my throat
He screams hatred in my face
His words like daggers in my soul
He loves me not

He kisses me gently, apologies on his tongue
His lips draw me in, he is the lion to my lamb
He says he needs me, that he wants me
I want him too
He loves me

His words are slurred and slow
His eyes are bright with rage
He slashes a broken bottle through the air
His hands bruising the skin around my wrist, I cannot escape
He loves me not

He washes the blood from my hair
Massaging my bruised skin
He cries to me for forgiveness
He wants a second chance
He says he loves me

He throws me against the wall
His body pulsating with fury
His words of hate now turn to threats
He is scaring me
He loves me not

I cry within the bathroom
I hear him banging on the door
He is screaming to be let inside
But I’m scared he will hurt me
He loves me

Is this what love is
To be scared in your own home
To tremble at the sound of footsteps
Coming up the stairs
He loves me not

It is not love
Because
He does not love me
664 · Jul 2018
Divorce You
kim Jul 2018
i wish i could divorce you
but you've made yourself at home
sitting on my couch
and sleeping in my bed

how
after all
can you divorce your own family
451 · Jun 2018
A Butterfly Net
kim Jun 2018
I had a butterfly net
Hoping to catch a friend
But little did I know
The net was full
Of holes

I had a fishing line
Hoping to catch a partner
But what I did not know
Was the bait
Had swum away

I had a wire trap
Hoping to catch a soulmate
But somehow
The tripwire
Was broken

So I gave up hunting
And packed my things away
Ready for the dust to settle
And for me to
Be alone

But instead of that
I myself got trapped
In your loving arms
And sweet soft smile
I am caught
354 · Jun 2018
Heavy
kim Jun 2018
Words sink
Like rocks
They weigh me down
Like guilt

I’m stuck
Sinking
Drowning

Can anybody hear me?

The truth is heavy
But sometimes
I must lift up weights
To be strong
Once again
343 · Feb 2020
she
kim Feb 2020
she
there is no sound in the world more
that i cherish
than her laugh

there is nothing i love more
than to watch
as she smiles at me

to know that i
of all people
bring her joy

maybe i am
not so bad
after all
336 · Feb 2020
unbearable
kim Feb 2020
"you must be lonely"

                                    

                                                                                                "unbearably so"
the feeling of isolation never becomes any more familiar
237 · Jun 2018
You
kim Jun 2018
You
I loved you
I loved your laugh
And your smile
I loved how whenever I was sad
You’d hold me for a while

I thought you loved me
And the adventures I planned
How I made you tea
And wrote you poems
For each and every anniversary

Maybe I was wrong
Maybe I made it up
And it was all in my mind
But I know how you made me feel
And I know that I don’t want to leave that behind

Please
Don’t leave
184 · Mar 2020
i thought of you again
kim Mar 2020
people don’t understand that it wasn’t always bad
if there was never any good, i wouldn’t have stayed
i see you in the stars of the night sky, i hear you in the chords of songs
when i talk about you, people are frustrated i didn’t leave earlier
but they don’t know you like i did
it’s easier to talk about the bad than the good
it’s hard to talk about how you cooked for me, how we could lie in each other’s arms in silence and not feel out of place
i felt at home with you, with your family
i miss you
i think some part of me always will
you were my first love
but you were bad for me
i was bad for you

maybe in another life we could have made each other whole
instead breaking the other apart
a poem to my ex from a bad relationship. it helps getting it out like this

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