a place to dream
a place to fly
are
the
only
silent
spaces
in
the sky

I've hidden behind so many "I'm okay"s.
The decieving happiness has become second nature.
My fake smiles and pretend laughs have become easier than the **** down the street.

"How are you?"
Don't hesitate.
Smile.
Sound peppy.
Sound happy.
"Good!"
Was that too peppy?
Too forced?
No one cares enough to notice anyway.
"Are you okay?"
Look confused.
Look surprised they're even asking.
Smile.
Let it roll off your tongue like it has so many times before.
"Of course."
Don't cry.
Dont cry God ******.
"What have you eaten today?"
Think of foods.
Think of foods fast.
Blurt out the first words that come to mind like you're on a gameshow and you're about to win first prize if you can just tell them what you had for dinner.
It all becomes second nature;
After so long of wearing masks
You forget how to wear your real face.
You don't know what's under the mask
You don't remember.
"Don't let them in,
Don't let them see"
Good thing I don't remember how to.
I've painted this smile on my face day after day
I don't know if the paint will come off anymore.

I dream my nightmares happily.
I'd rather have those than dreams.
Because they're more interesting.
They make me, me.
Every night I cry myself to sleep.
Every morning I wake up and scream.
Everyday is my real nightmare.
And my nightmare's are my dreams

Its been years since we've met.
Years since we last said hello.
Years since I fell in love with you.

It's been years since we both left school.
Where we both were reckless teenagers.
Years since we left marks on our wrists.
I've stopped, I wonder if you ever will.

All these years, do you still remember me?
As your dog?
As your monster?
As your temporary lover?

I still remember you.
I remember you very clearly.
Because all these years,
I've never stopped loving you.

You made a poet fall in love with you
And expected her not to write sonnets about your eyes
Haikus about the way you kissed her in the moonlight
Expected the fire in her heart not to inspire couplets
You made a poet fall in love with you, and when you left
Expected her not to write pages about the ache in her chest
Write a soliloquy dedicated to her tears
Expected her not to feel every gut wrenching moment of the pen hitting paper like your words hit her in the most vulnerable places of her mind.
You made a poet fall in love with you, and you expected her to be silent.
That is no fault of hers.

In the desert in which we burn
At the point where we could not return
That is where I will stand to pray
For a chance to live another day

As the dust swirls in the sky
We had no choice but to say goodbye
For as the sun fades beyond the dune
Darkness descends along with the rhythm of the moon

With a body shattered down to the very last bone
We knew we would never find your way home
Lost without hope, damaged beyond repair
The last of our light fades into despair

With darkness approach we bid farewell
Back to being locked away in our own prisons in which we dwell
So long my friend, for you I cry
But it was you that left me [here] to die