I must confess

I had *** with my ex, yesterday

It isn't exactly what I intended on



Their warm body fit mine like a broken in baseball glove
I don't expect much to come of it
I'm learning to not expect much of
anything



We enjoyed each other's energy

As I ran my fingers through their hair

Like I did before

So frequently



                                 But this time it was different

This time, I didn't care of tomorrow
Wondering if I could do this again
Wondering if I could keep them forever



                Instead, I recognized the beauty in a moment

I was grateful for their being

I was grateful for their fruit
To let my tongue dance

With the idea that forever is the ugly sister
Misused, abused, and forgotten

    Due to the only constant that her sister Change, will always win

I woke early today
I finally opened my window
Pulled apart the curtains that hung so perfectly
Better than I ever could
Take a deep breath
And let some air in
I saw the light I've been craving
Since summer left
Me suffocating
By default
You became my stepping stone
To get me closer to the sun
Just sit back and watch me grow
No longer will I wilt under your overbearing knock off glow

I keep having dreams of you,
and they're absolute nonsense,
well,
you're absolute nonsense,
please let me be,
leave my dreams be
nonsense, but without you in them.

trace poems on
my inner thigh
paint a sunset
between my *******

write love letters
between my legs
use my body
as your blank canvas

I'm afraid,
Scared to death,
That when I wake up,
I am someone else.
Through all these days,
I stay wise,
Even though my mind,
Is going wild.
This is the story of my life,
I 'split' to anyone,
A stranger I never knew,
A person I never met.
My mind speaks,
Between two,
One is like me,
The other is who?

I have a hole
Inside my chest
I try to fill it up.
With voice
With words
With love
With dodie tickets.

Nothing sticks.

Like glitter in the wound,
I bleed out.

I Am Lost
I am handsome
I am caring
I do good in school
I have friends
I am happy  

I like a boy
He’s sweet
And pretty
He smells heavy of cologne
But I like it
He's in my fourth period history class
He’s very funny in class
I talk to him Sometimes
But I don't think he knows I like him

“Basketball is a very important sport”
“Basketball is essential in my life; if I do not play I will become sick and die”
“No I don't understand question 7”
“Yes Brandon, I believe the basketball should be part of our national flag”
He's a macho kind of guy
So I can't flirt with him all that much
Six months ago I ran into him the hall
He looked so good with his hair pushed back and his new jacket
I couldn't help but smile

The next day I told him how I felt
I didn't know he’d tell all his friends
I didn't know how fast news could travel
I didn't know they'd make fun of me
I didn't know they'd say awful things about me
I didn't know people would treat me different
I didn't know how I felt was a sin
I didn't know how my parents found out
I didn't know why my dad stopped talking to me
I didn't know who to talk to
I didn't know how badly I needed it to stop
Until one day ; it did
I am bound to societal norms
I am drowning in discrimination and unequal rights
I am forced to live my life the way others see best
I am numb to the pain that tags along with each name that is thrown my way
“Gay“ “Freak“
“Loser”
I lost my friends
I lost my appetite
I lost my will power
My grades dropped
And so did my mood
I became an outcast
A loner
I was sad every day
I cried every hour  
But from now on that won't be a problem
I won't be problem
I'm going to stop this the only way I know how
I never knew what it was like to be in love
I never married
I never had kids
I never graduated
I never had a judgement free zone
I never had positive thoughts
I never found help  
Last wednesday when my eyes shut for good
I only hope
I opened someone else’s