there’s a coldness in your eyes
and it’s coming from your heart

I can tell when you hear the songs you feel hollow
the echos of the words bounce around in your bones and
paralyze the warmth of arms
.

every way out of this is just out of your reach and it’s fading fast
you stretch and kick but it’s too far. the strain is unbearable
you slowly fade into a gray hole.
inescapable  

you’re lost to yourself

you’ve become numb
a slate of nothing

the rain no longer satisfies your feeble body and the unquenchable melancholy death

it’s pulling you deeper in that unforgiving hole
in the deep dark pit of your stomach where love once inhabited


the hurt is you.


you've been overcome and the devil of regrets and all his evil own your broken beaten soul

I sang the song of the lonely oceans
Where heartbroken words are drowned
In the deepest darkest place of emotions
Where I screamed without a sound

I longed for you to hear my voice
My inner screams suffocating
Our broken love was not my choice
But I suffer my turmoil within

I've driven myself in
to the valley of deserted
Tears.

To where it's too hot,
while living is an isolation.

There's no river nor
lush forest around,
its as dry as the desert
sands, then humidity
strikes your nerves
that you'll feel
overcooked.

The crimson sky
Bleeds of its inking
Beauty...

I on the other hand
solidify my strength
to ease the burden
I carry, as i lift myself
Little by little towards
A meaningful step
For SURVIVAL!

© pax

I wish I knew how it felt
To feel so strongly for someone
To see something so special
Invisible to the world
To be so immersed
To be so blinded
That you see nothing else
But one
Though the fear within me
Keeps me from hoping
From wanting it so fully
Wishing I could just reach out
And find my hand
Entwined with another
Tangled by fate
Or perhaps by something more special
That when the fear of falling
Seems nothing
And that when you land
You land without hurting

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

When the mind is in conflict
Nothing pleases the heart
Every resonance creates disharmony
Echoed from the sharpest edges
The conflict is amplified in the soul
Not aligned with the universe
Conflict of the mind takes over

In my dreams I picture us,
Laying together,
But never sleeping through the night.
My fingers run through your long curly hair,
As you stare deeply into my soul.
You claw at my back,
As my body arches in pleasure,
You let a faint groan slip out.
I feel a faint breeze coming from the open window,
As we bathe together in the moonlight,
We hear the city that never sleeps below us.
You grab my neck and choke me,
As waves of pure ecstasy surge through me,
I bite my lip to prevent myself from making a sound.
I feel your love in the darkest parts of my soul,
And then I wake and realize it's only a dream.
The one thing that doesn't change is what I crave,
Just You and Me.