Oh what a shame

My mom is a ****
My dad does *******

My brother hates me
I have no friends

Help me, Help me

Scars hidden deep
I want a cigarette

I can't sleep

Words unspoken
Too many secrets

My life is broken

Family of lies
Everything I hate

Oh why, oh why

Trapped at home
With monsters

I'm so alone

Is love even real
Life seems empty

I can't even feel

I'm so lonely
I want to escape

If only, If only
It wasn't my fault

It takes so much self hate
To starve as much as me

It takes so much sadness
To use up all your dignity

It takes so much isolation
To have so much to hide

It takes so much strength
To live on half dead inside

It takes so much anxiety
To fear any fat in my skin
                              
It takes so much energy
To constantly be so thin

It takes so much self hate
To ***** as much as me

It takes so much jealousy

Getting your attention
Is a complicated task
I just want to feel pretty
Is it too much to ask?      

Just tell me I'm beautiful
Bring out the best in me
Maybe you're just shy
Or I guess I'm just ugly

Do you even like me?
You're pushing me away
I hope you don't like me
For I might leave one day

I want your attention
It's a complicated task
You never listen to me
I'll go sit behind a mask    

I'll find someone else
That can compliment me
Because you surely don't
All you give me is insecurity

I'm beautiful to all of them
Why don't you see it too?
I thought you loved me
You're cutting me through

I want your attention
See me like they do?
I guess you never will      
Maybe I don't need you

Leaves are falling
The wind is blowing

Clouds are creeping
The Moon is glowing

Leaves are changing
The wind is chilling

Clouds are darkening
November is thrilling

And those trees right there
      Live eternity alone
  That's my life right there

She always ran away from everyone
Her tears were getting harder to hide

No one ever knew the agony she felt
Or the suppressed adrenaline inside

Nervous chills would race her body
Blurry thoughts made her head spin

Her body always trembled with fear
Because anxiety was her life within

We all love you so much mom
Why did it have to be this way
I thought he treated you right
You left dad for him that day

We all miss you so much mom
We thought you were a blessing
How did you end up leaving dad
Everything turned so depressing

We all love you so much mom
Dad forgives your rotted heart
But you still don't come home
Why do you tear us more apart

We all miss you so much mom
Do you just not care anymore
My little brother and sister cry
You left straight out the door

We all love you so much mom
But do you even love us at all
It seems you no longer exist
You never tried to visit or call

We all miss and love you mom
How did you turn out this way
When did you become so cold
To leave and never come back