Such a mess sometimes
This thing we call life

When you realize so many things have gone wrong
And things have gotten to this point
Far from the original plan
You had
From the beginning when you were young
Carefree and innocent of life's harsh realities

Life made plans for you otherwise
And now, here you are

"That's life" people most likely said
They also probably told you to move on
Or some **** like that

But you can still keep working on
Finding your way back to
Getting your life back on that path
You want to walk

When I write these things
my thoughts fly with birds
sometimes grey in storms
sometimes winged in skies
so feathery

When I sing this song
my heart goes in beats, bittersweet
sometimes heavy held, my sorrow spilled
sometimes warmed, red flushed
and fluttery

When I paint this canvas
my brush moves in labyrinthine moods
sometimes shades, darkest blue cerulean
sometimes flowers white, soft as clouds
upon the page, floating heavenly

As dark and dreary
it stands alone at night -
hoping for solace.

It absorbs me, you know?
Like a black hole
I fall into a recess,
A void in my mind.
It's like my insides dig their way out,
Surround me,
Dragging the puppet show smile
Into the center,
Hiding it like a bad gift.
I twist out of myself,
The darkest parts come center stage,
The spotlight a stark contrast.
The cold spot of my dreams
Drinking up the light
Turning into every lucid thought
we push aside.
I marry it
Like a death sentence,
Both prey and predator,
A battle along the seams of my skin.
They have to drag me out of it
Like a grave:
I want it badly,
Permanent and aching.