at 2pm
i smile and laugh
with my friends
over a stupid joke

at 2am
i lie awake on my bed
with tears streaming down my face
and blood flowing down my arm

two different personalities
all in one person
its no wonder
i think of suicide more often than i should

he's never going to
look at you
the way
he looks at her

he's never going to
love you
the way
he loves her

he's never going to
accept you
the way
he accepts her

but you're still going to try
your very best
to get his attention
because you're falling

*and you don't even know

i didn't see this coming
if i did
i would've done something
but it's too late now

you walk down the hallway
its either you're invisible
or people see you for the wrong reasons

you arrive early to school
just to avoid the crowd
just so you could hide

you sit in the library
during lunchtime
so they cannot find you

when will you
stand up for yourself
learn how to shove their opinions
back into their mouth
don't care what they think
point your ******* at them
and say "*******"
its your time to stand up
for *yourself

5 year old me
thought it was
sharing things with people
crying with them

12 year old me
thought it was
holding hands
the term "boyfriend"

15 year old me
thought it was
kissing
touching

18 year old me
now understands
love comes in many different forms
sometimes in words
sometimes in expressions
sometimes in staying
and sometimes in leaving.

he smiles
her heart flutters
like birds soaring

"i cannot fall for him
he will break me
and every wall i've build
will be wasted" she says

as she grabs him by the neck
and pulls him in for a kiss
with a lingering thought
of how a kiss wouldn't hurt

but when will she learn
after times and times
of getting her heart
broken trampled and torn apart

and as her best friend
i can only stand
and watch
as she ruins herself
falling for him
again and again

you and me
we're both the same
empty shells of a human
without a soul

where has the soul gone
people wonder
in a state of frenzy
we mistook lust for love

that was our wrong
that caused us to be
where we are now
broken and shattered.

you didn't love her
you only needed her
to satisfy your needs

you didn't love her
you only wanted
to feel loved

you didn't love her
you just wanted
to call someone yours

you didn't love her
so why are you
still stringing her along