I am not suicidal
Sometimes I just get a little sad
And if you were to ask me
No I wouldn't get mad
Now and again I feel alone
Like my hearts made of stone
But what I'm keeping out '
is on the wrong side of the door
I don't know the feeling of being alive anymore
because although I can breath
Inside I am suffocating  
I am trapped inside myself
With the monsters inside my head
And the demons that live under the bed
I don't know if I could say this to anyone
but to myself
I write it out so I don't have to put it on the shelf
I am not suicidal
I just get a little bit sad
Like I am trapped inside an hour glass that's filling up with sand
Now I know how it must feel
like it was all your fault
But With these last words
their was really nothing you could do to help

I hid the love within my heart,
And lit the laughter in my eyes,
That when we meet he may not know
My love that never dies.

But sometimes when he dreams at night
Of fragrant forests green and dim,
It may be that my love crept out
And brought the dream to him.

And sometimes when his heart is sick
And suddenly grows well again,
It may be that my love was there
To free his life of pain.

I will wait for the one who feels like baking sugar cookies
For the one that smells like climbing trees
For the one that looks like a morning after sleeping in a hotel
For the one that sounds like smiling before a roller coaster takes off
For the one that tastes like swimming way after the sun has gone down
I will wait.

And suddenly I do not feel the need to speak again
To take you to my room tonight and try to play pretend
The only conversation that remains is silence now
So let it be in stillness that our bodies take a bow
I've wandered through this skin so long and finally returned
To some place I'd forgotten but completely reaffirmed
I'd like to settle in and watch the windows open wide
To listen to the wind as it renters my whole mind
It's something like a song a weathered spirit taught me young
I'll sing it with my spirit and the notes will carry on

When things go wrong as they some times will
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must but dont quit

Life is queer with its twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck out
Dont give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victors cup
And he learned to late when the night came down
Oh how close he was to the golden crown

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems afar
Hence stick to the fight when your hardest hit

For its when things seem worst that you must never
Q U I T.

Head thumping
Stomach in pain
Chest pressure
Arms weak
Heart on my sleeve
Opened up
Silly idea
Stupid girl
You let your wall down
Slowly let them
Take it down
Brick by Brick
How silly of you
To trust someone
To hold your heart in their hands
To hold a gun to your head
And trust them to not pull the trigger
Silly Girl
Head Thumping
Stomach in Pain
Chest pressure
Arms Weak
Brick wall
Building up again
About to
Explode

He likes pretty girls
And I don't quite fit




© Leigh Herondale  *June 2015