wrists cry
hemaglobin tears
washed away by
shower steam
and daydream fears

your knife-wielding hands
clenched to the bone

my roar now dwindled
to a gentle hum

your selective deafness
my self-inflicted muteness
our perpetual daze

i wanted you to hear me so
i screamed my voice away

If I dissociate any longer
I’m scared that there will
not be anything left to come
back to.

I can feel her creeping back into my blood stream
The anger, she's unravelling again
The veins in my arm are pumping flames I thought I'd put out for good
But you, you've ignited them
Flicked your selfish lighter
I'm on fire
My chest constricting with your apathy
Suffocating me
And slowly
I shrink
Deplete
Revert back into that girl
Who could not control her affect
Running on a constant adrenaline high
Dear god I'm on fire and I'm praying for someone to put me out

                     *-lf-

i - i can't touch myself
for that would touch a child
raised alone with a book.
some would say,
the best pages
ever archived.
The Internet.

**** hand for years and years
controlled *******
a brain for pleasure,
though almost ruined by lust,
now look how happy
I am. I - I am.

Gaze upon this grin.

you cannot water their garden
for you have your own to care for.
there are far too many flowers
and not enough water
between the two
for you to water both.
you must
keep your own garden
alive
and allow the other person
to fetch their own water
and provide for their garden
for if you attempt
to water both
both gardens will suffer.

The anxieties of life, of self-worth, of good health,
Do overwork the mind, to rather grave lengths.

Set in overdrive, your fears, your failures, and your stress,
Yet, too blind to realise, to pause, to confess,

Your extensive efforts, to please, to cater to and satisfy the rest,
'Til, you sit down, grasp and digest life's one true test:

"To set aside, your worries, archive them on a shelf,
To set aside the time, to make it nice, for Yourself."

Work to live
But don't live to work
Unless you're working on yourself

my only wish
is that you would
see yourself
through my eyes,
a warrior heart
with magic swimming
in your veins.
maybe then
you would understand.