Sometimes I think of
All the ways I could
Love the way you lie to me

You are my own personal brand of nicotine.
You are the everlasting, all consuming craving relief
Of me.
You are the lighter that sparks the fire.
You are my trembling, shaky hands as I devour you.
You are the cracked lonely lips from which I use to inhale you.
Your love's a ******* drug.
But I need it bad.
You're worse than nicotine.
You are my death.
You are my relief.
You are my addiction.

My blood churns and swirls
As it goes down the drain.
It should hurt, it should sting
But I feel no pain.

Pleasure, warm and red leaves the cuts.
Out the slashes, comes the scars.
Self harm is not a trend.
Please, grow the **** up.

We met by the blue river.
I had problems and you had problems.
We bonded over that.
I could see that you were just as broken as I was.
And I was okay with that.

You were running from monsters,
And I was running from monsters.
You had demons and I had demons.

Do you think you have room for one more lost soul?
They say silence is the most powerful scream,
And it was pretty obvious that we were both screaming
In a place no one could hear us.

We weren't okay but we smiled anyways.
We realized it was better that way.
Because we realized we didn't want anyone to suffer
The way we did.

Sometimes I wonder
What it's like to wake
Up and smile,
To love yourself,
To look in the mirror
And not want to slap
On pounds of make-up
To look as decent as the other
Girls.

Sometimes I wonder
What it's like to
weigh yourself,
See the number,
and not want to puke.

Sometimes I wonder
What it's like to
Have friends and not
Feel like a third wheel.

Or go into public and not
Feel insecure,
To go shopping for clothes
And not feel fat.

Sometimes I wonder
What it's like
To love your life.

She closes her eyes to
Block out the fighting, the hating,
The abuse and the lies.

She closes her eyes to dream
Of a place majestic and beautiful,
A place surreal and peaceful.

She sleeps to hope
and hopes to dream.
Dream of a place
Where she can be
At rest.