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May 2017 · 366
Coping
Erin Halle May 2017
Abruptly
I am thrown
into
cold cold cold
water
quickly sinking
deeper
deeper
deeper.

Once pulsating
with the sensations of
life,
my body is
silent, numb, surviving.

I feel no more.
I am
no
more.

No breath left.

I am dragged up
to
air.

like backing up
into an electric fence that I didn't know was there,
I am startled with returning sensation.

Pain, ice, misery.

I take a breath, and wait
to go
numb.
I am writing this during a sudden burst of feelings of depression. I feel like I've been numb to any issues and am suddenly being shocked awake and hoping to return to some way of coping.
Jan 2017 · 828
Disappointment
Erin Halle Jan 2017
I am floating

Higher
Higher
Higher

I can only float so high
I know this

When will I crash?

Maybe this time things can change.

Let me reach a little higher
Before
I crash
Back down

Farther
Farther
Farther
Oct 2016 · 405
Doctor Doctor
Erin Halle Oct 2016
Doctor Doctor!
Help me! I'm dying!
My cells are crying!

Everyone is screaming!
I can't quit bleeding, and
I need to stop breathing!
Aug 2016 · 607
Unfiltered
Erin Halle Aug 2016
Jumping up
screaming
your fingernails tear
the wallpaper that was never there
walls
crumbling down
where are you now?
*You're pyschotic
Unfiltered thoughts filtered into words
Jul 2016 · 412
Hell
Erin Halle Jul 2016
I've figured it out: I'm dead.
And, wow, there is a God!
One just as horrible as they said.
This is a short poem describing the realization of being in Hell, and having been sent there by an unjust God.
Jul 2016 · 590
Untitled
Erin Halle Jul 2016
there's an ache in my heart
i tried to fix it with bad art
Jun 2016 · 11.9k
A depression haiku
Erin Halle Jun 2016
Chaos devours me;
let's small talk and pretend that
everything's fine.
Jun 2016 · 1.5k
Injustice
Erin Halle Jun 2016
So the world hurts us both,
and we suffer, alone, together,
hoping to save the other from our pain.
Jun 2016 · 1.1k
The sound
Erin Halle Jun 2016
Perhaps you are at peace,
or filled with wonder
and curiosity.

Perhaps your eyes burn,
seeing a world that is unclear
and slow.

Perhaps you imagine your sister,
calling your name so that you can return
to the carefree day above.

Perhaps you want to stay,
unmoving, heavy, gently sinking, and
wondering if anyone will notice.

Regardless,
you lift your body back up,
breaking the seal between
awareness and isolation.

Water that had weighed you down
is now humbled to mere drops,
stripped away by the cold air.

There is a sound to this feeling,
this return to clarity,
and you hear the transition
from nothing to everything.

It's the sound of the water,
surrounding your ears,
being replaced by air.

It's the sound of the hazy dream,
being swept away
by the reality of a sunny morning.

It's the sound of you, habibi,
whispering
bamoot feeki

It's the sound of being brought back to life.
Jun 2016 · 1.2k
Where do I exist?
Erin Halle Jun 2016
Where do I exist?

In the lab?
In my bed?
My body?

But, where am *I
?
Where do I exist?

How much of my body
could be cut away, separated, from me?

Would there be countless pieces of
flesh and organs,
scattered around one piece:
me?

Is that where I exist?
Is there a specific puzzle piece that,
if removed,
renders the puzzle nonexistent?

Or, rather, if any piece is removed,
altered, or shifted,
does my existence
end?

*Where do I exist?
Jun 2016 · 2.2k
Ode to Depression
Erin Halle Jun 2016
You hijack the cells of my body
Like a virus
Infecting
Restricting.

You've ensured that when it is
Crucial
That I fight back
I am unable to.

I am left
Powerless and unmoving,
Save the ever so slight
Fluttering of eyelids.

You've turned me against myself
Trapped me in a useless mind
That cannot feel
The love he has for me
The love that would heal me
If only I could feel it.

But you've know all along what you're up against,
And you've known all along that you -
That I -
That We
Cannot win.
Jun 2016 · 239
Storm
Erin Halle Jun 2016
There's a storm coming.
Or maybe it's here right now...

I didn't expect it.
It had been sunny for so long.

But now I'm wondering...
Will this storm ever leave?
Did it ever leave?

How long have I been staring at the sky?

My thoughts are interrupted-
Someone calls me to complain about the storm.
Mar 2016 · 254
Cry
Erin Halle Mar 2016
Cry
Cry.
Cry, so I know you're here;
so I can wipe your tears,
and let you know
that everything,
the burning in my chest,
your tears,
the noise in your head,
everything
is okay.
Mar 2016 · 239
Letter to the boy I broke:
Erin Halle Mar 2016
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault.
I'm sorry.
Mar 2016 · 343
Untitled
Erin Halle Mar 2016
Cuando yo muero,
yo muero.
No habrá más
que la vida que tengo

Pero no vivo mi vida
porque el tiempo
constantemente pasa,
mientras yo fallo el momento.

Qué, de repente, es el presente
hace un momentito, había sido el futuro
y más temprano que tarde,
el entero de mi vida se hunde en el pasado.

“¿Dónde fuiste? ¿Dónde vas?”
Con desesperanza, yo grito
hacia aquel agujero ***** del tiempo.
“Estoy aquí, contigo” responde el momento.

Ahora estoy bajo del agua,
no sé cuánto lleva yo he estado aquí,
mientras el presente está arriba,
mi vida no espera para mí.
Mar 2016 · 230
Afterlife
Erin Halle Mar 2016
When I die,
I die.
There will not be more
than the life that I have.

But I don't live my life
because the time
constantly passes
while I miss the moment.

What, suddenly, is the present
a moment ago, had been the
future
and sooner than later,
my whole life drowns in the
past.

"Where did you go? Where are you going?"
With hopelessness, I scream
towards that black hole of time.
"I am here, with you" responds the
moment.

Now I am under the water,
I do not know how long I have been here,
while the present is above,
Life does not wait for me.
Mar 2016 · 255
Absent
Erin Halle Mar 2016
The echoes of our laughter,
our love,
hit me as
your eyes flicker,
waver,
shift to the side.
You don't want to leave, but you're gone.

— The End —