To me whiteness is a mental illness
whiteness is the worst habit
a habit forming process
construction
worse than cigarettes
nevermind being 18 yet
they force it on new born babies
Whiteness kills more people
its worse for the lungs
worse for the human spirit
whiteness taught humanity conflict
and it still does
it taught how to make crack from *******
it gave it to families
that it had already attempted to destroy
taught us how to infect blankets with small pox
and then have an Ivy league college named after you
whiteness taught us how to be inhuman
made groups to destroy humanity
whiteness taught us how to
and it is encouraging me
to destroy humanity and blame it on the other
to destroy humanity then blame it on the destruction it attempted to leave behind
whiteness taught us
and encourages me
to disassociate from humanity
it taught us to never
and I mean never
stray from humans that have evolved
not ever again
whiteness taught us the need to worship evolutionary people
by negation it reminds us to be human
whiteness is the silence of genocide
I will no longer construct whiteness
I promised myself
I am a decomposer
consider whiteness socially deconstructed

I’m mixed race
a human
and still
I am so unanimously ******* segregated
for Christmas
tell the children
that there is no way Christ
was ******* white
its not innocent or cute
while life is lost for this egregiousness
Christ was the same confused shade
that Obama resides within
and apologize
needing them to believe this
so that humans could be tortured and *****
In America and Africa
proslavery language
to keep the distractions cheap
to turn up the frequency of apathy
and wrap it up with a bow and tinsel
shine away
a children’s book
detailing the reasons
for teaching that whiteness
in caves
in the blistering cold
starving and diseased desperation
invented things like
higher intelligence
that really
the warmth of Africa incubated and spread
generously letting greedy tourists study
Africa taught the precursor to whiteness
Europeans
how to get to America
and what to expect
there is no happy ending
to the imagination of whiteness
which is a self destructive
self fulfilling prophecy
of the most cowardice event
experienced by humanity
human trafficking
the genocide of colonialism
they refer to as traditions

My white privilege is being proud to be black
I am white so I can be over the top and outspoken about being black
I can say whatever I want about whiteness
and
or blackness
It is self criticism
nothing to do with anyone else's assumptions
black lives matter more than white lives
is the mantra I use to self medicate
pick yourself up by the bootsraps
making black children excited
instead of scared
from the trauma of a racially imbalanced
world of whiteness
in a world that legally denies its traumatic process upon its victims
a society structured on the denial
that whiteness is a mental illness

I am America
**** black and white people
We are on our own now
mixed up and left
to seethe
******* both
I knew you wouldn’t
get it in time
we are the only humans left
in America
how many words have we had together?
***?
War?
*** again?
War that is ***?!
Hatred?
Hatred is the white part
of this country
and psyche
vengeance is black as ****** oil
forgiveness
heritage
love
evolution
historical experience
beauty
awareness
humanities language
a new whiteness
We have tried to teach you
the people you **** into being mixed
insistence
denial
love
you should have snuck knives in your chains!
black women!
you should have killed them during ***!
By any means necessary
sorry not reasonable
**** is **** and been white for 400 years
talk about black people ****** white women
******* whiteness
**** is never okay
but the trauma on black men
is unbearable
what you whiteness expect without
the treatment you give
your own whiteness treatment
**** your misdirected violence
for a buck or two
for a ****
slavery
whiteness communication
with blackness
handcuffs
modified insured slave chains
the same company you keep
cause your lust to **** people
and look away from the whiteness
that still is
I don’t give a ****
we are mixed now without a choice
no turning back
dancing uncontrollably
with our privates out
by choice
not force
our passion
is ****
love
baby slaves
birthing slaves
marriage
children
future
economy
language is not your waste
it is not the excess of whiteness
it is a measure of cooperation
we are more like the rest of the world
than any of your oppressors or oppressed
language
social functions
birthing humans that will destroy
whiteness
that is a joke
wasn’t funny
stop laughing
******* clowns
breathing this mixed race
feels good
even in the most ****** sense of existing
We have to love ******* from the **** of slavery
being mixed
back to simply human

When the air is polluted by politicalism
desperation of whiteness
that was once mistakenly
referred to as racism
how do I breathe
The pollution is killing us
does the Environmental agency understand
that pollution is social
psychological
a mental illness
on purpose at one time
mistakes ever since?
whiteness trying to expoit others
really ended up expoiting itself
polluting its own air
it shares with its victims
nature

overwhelming sadness
to embarrassment
frustration
to embarrassment again
forgiveness
it does not make sense
to those around me
so I would rather bury
bury
bury
my overwhelming sadness
to not have to
convince
impress
prove
that I can move past
beyond
away from
the first time I saw her
but actually
it was the first time
Ive ever been seen
and my heart
with all its will
it became
as if vulnerable
took over the world
all of the sudden
existence
feeling
experience
love
the first and only time
she would ever prove
impress
upon me
the invincible human being
that we are the same
I will miss you
no matter how close
no matter how far
without dissociation
I do what matters most
I will have to be reborn
opportunities to sense
new feelings
forever
but I will still miss you
rebirth after rebirth
rebirth before rebirth
the first time I had a purpose
meaning
feeling
not
negating stutus quo
or agreeing to be it
Im sorry that I allowed you
to have this journey
I hope you can be strong
I know you can
I love you
more than anything
always could
express my sensitivity
creatively
impressively
gracefully
terrified
now
when my sensitiveness
is pouring out of me
for all to see
like a heart
without
a body
expressionless
cold
crying
mourning
after a lucid nightmare
and you are no where
the sadness is crippling
but I should be healed
at the least
do what is expected
further overwhelmed
unstoppable
in vulnerable’s world
sadness is the ruler

Exponential Nothing
cancer
whiteness is a free radical
no allegiance to organic intelligence
exerted by a force
a pressure
that made some of us humans
slaves
no loyalty to being a human
once and for all
our bodies do not know
what to do with it
like fake sugar
used to be real
used to be liquor
used to be steel
nuclear whiteness
instability
exponential nothing
it did not take nature
into its equation
colonizing our cells
deep
affecting our gene function
what is the cure?

white and black ripping me in half
clenched tightly in each desperate fist
blood drips down my feet
African
forced through **** to become white
sorry we got so upset
for being ***** for so long
so many times
rising from a genocidal cocoon of
a new human spreading wings
shedding colonization and decolonization
we can no longer be white like you
we just want payment
for the work we have done!

oh
the seasons have changed again
ten shades darker and climbing
they forgot who I was
who I am
gaining momentum
the whiteness that used to insist
that I am white
is confused
now they are leaning towards
not letting me be white anymore
till next season all over again
but this is the season of darkness
I can see it in their eyes
hear it in their voices
mostly being black in America
has been the epitome
of non violent resistance
in the season of darkness
non violent coping mechanisms
to a violent abuser
an abuser
called law
called psychology
called whiteness
called economy
untreated domestic abuse
whiteness calls honors history
dissociating from the repair work
that the American family must face
ever since I was a little
itsy-bitsy - innocent boy
the thought
the imagination
of being able to take out
a militia of whiteness
with my body alone
if and when they get as worse as they are
always prepared for the worst of whiteness
no matter what you say
cannot fool me
can I be more violent?
better at it
so I can sleep for a little while
dreams like some of the white kids
except lucid
In the season of darkness
I can prove it all wrong
the whiteness
its story
the companies it keeps
I can breathe a whole new world out
and breathe in clarity
in the season of darkness
my afros
my mohawks
mean something different
suddenly
my worth
is being threatened with an officer’s gun
peacefully letting handcuffs on
violently beaten afterward
hand over mouth
face in the cement
should out of socket
sciatic nerve damage forever
put in a cell
for the trauma
to reverberate
and echo
back into itself
in the season of darkness
whiteness was overwhelmed
without fear
domino affected
occupied whiteness
brought it down to its knees
that one percent of whiteness
is enough to get us all killed
America
in the season of darkness

The arrogance is the most fascinating thing to me
when I think of equality
race
gender
class and such
It is the arrogance
the arrogance that a brutal military could earn anyone really
its no merit to evolution
or the continuity of nature
cooperation is the fittest
so the arrogance of
“Black lives matter more than white lives”
signs
being held on busy streets crowded by people who feel the need to construct whiteness
all day ever day
getting paid very little and sometimes even nothing
to construct whiteness
some get financial aid
to construct whiteness
some get allowances
loans
some inherit money to construct whiteness
some are also just really dumb
some do it intelligently
some started ivy league institutions
to construct whiteness
some people ask me to construct whiteness
and I
say
*******
I think insurance should cover treatment for whiteness
and cover the treatment for the damages done by whiteness

am I not conforming yet?
am I finally an outcast
can you please let me out of whiteness
did I offend it too much to be accepted anymore
is my demand for humanity contagious
are you scared of it spreading yet
why are you still listening
to the voice in your mind that is reading?
confused
angry
desperate
you should have killed all the others
you should have been more strict
more brutal with your laws
the fees and fines should have been much much bigger
we should have only been 2 fifths of a vote
if whiteness wanted to succeed
whiteness should have been more violent with its punishment
more relentless
unforgiving with its shaping of humanity
It should have been more incestuous
whiteness should have kept its privates in its pants
if whiteness wanted too survive
it should have fought harder
Whiteness should have kept its language secret
It should have invested in privacy and security and insurance even more
if whiteness wanted to survive
but if whiteness wanted to dissipate and fail
its doing perfect
Otherwise whiteness would have blotted out the sun
whiteness would have made tanning cream illegal a long time ago
and the penalty would have been much harsher than voluntary manslaughter
if whiteness were to be able to take over
forever
whiteness needs to get over the fact that it is not real
to put a halt to its construction
and to stop making excuses that are similes to genocide

Quiet the mind for a little bit longer
Intend on noticing the end and beginning of each breathe
Stop controlling everything for a little while longer
Focus intently on extending and nurturing this thought
Expand it to include yourself and others
Reincarnate into the interest of the other

Separate yourself from your own understanding
Play with the thought
that this might be the most important thing ever said
Let go of the reoccurring disappointment
Notice your standard
Destroy it
Notice its inherent importance
Expand it to include yourself and others
Look up from writing
She is gone

A love letter to America…
Dear America,
Now that my heart is broken
smashed
destroyed
legally and psychologically
sexually plundered
At least
now
is the first time
that I know
I have a heart
I am consistently amazed
at how autonomous
it used to be
Thats all for now

its the savages that have defined civilizations
in the near future
and in my mind
I can see movies showing children
the savagery of enforcing whiteness
confused and unable to help themselves
slobbering all over evolution
stumbling away from intelligence
savages wore fancy clothes
to compensate for a fantastic failure
impossible to sustain
inorganic
draining us
of our main resource
thinking

confused
justify confusion
stumbling through ocean
flopping on to shores
slipping
and slithering on the land
not knowing how to live on the land
torturing to survive
invasive dissociation
***** for healthy young native girls
justify ****
no longer confused
focused genocide
whiteness laughs in its cell
alone in repentance
society is safe
from whiteness for lifetimes

Looking back
whiteness is my footprints
in the eggshells
I walked over
ever so cautiously
ever so vengeful
treading gently
I do not think I can get away
everyone has heard the crunching
and I cannot deny that those
were my footprints
and yes that is why I have been limping
and yes the ****** footprints
were also mine
and thank you for helping me
remove the eggshell shards
from my tender soles

I want to exhaust your language
until we are the flesh of stillness

I squint
its so unbelievably strange
I guess this is what freedom
is like
after being enslaved

Mohawks everywhere
along the river
selling souvenirs
colonial body parts
souvenirs
of a failed genocide
vengenocide
vengeance
reverse genocide
reaction to genocide
colonial bodies in the rivers
limp
slander in writing
souvenirs
history of slander
intervened
abandon ships
millions of colonists dead
an eerie and safe silence of colonialism
a genuine sense of unearned guilt
in the natives
now the currents
the currents
having tried to save the colonists
from destroying themselves
but with no other choice
but to exterminate
we do not mention those evil people anymore
those colonists that tried to get rid of us
ended up
getting rid of themselves
on the shores of Africa
colonists rotted on wooden ships
decomposing in the ocean
feeding the wildlife
ships piled up
colonists piled up
dead
the ocean shore is unsafe
diseased for a long time
waterlogged and dead
for opposing freedom

changing the original human meaning of African
to justify slavery
is whiteness
its fuel
its language
its justification
its rapacious legal system
glory
pride
economy
abolitionists know this too
even though they might be light skinned
being human happens

whiteness is not sustainable

regardless of whether is was me or not
it is inevitable
that a mixed race male
would be considered “passing”
and accumulate all the weapons
and silent confidence
of privileged society
trained with the most valuable
intellectual materials
he would expose the disparity
and its shame
in its naked entirety
like I
everyday
exist in its entirety
thoroughly through
the most cooperative
conceivable act
of eternal mixture

whiteness of liberation
when falling into dream
the interim
I see images of brute force
with its blood soaked mind
relentless colony
exponential crawling
slithering
on earth
trudging through the depths of humanity
I’m floating on its surface
temperature of earth’s matter
eating from tectonic plates
temperature of thought
kinetic thoughts
eroding humanity
convection currently
conveying movements
implying momentum
immortal revolution
heavy eye lids
heavy hearts
heavy memories
too much to bare
bringing us down to the core
viscosity does not lie

libra
the scales
justice is freedom
unequal attention
paid to either side of the scale
imbalanced
equal attention
beyond what has been added
to the scale
is the beam that supports
possibility of change
opportunity
movement
be the beam and give yourself justice
give yourself freedom
own dialiectics
own your language
confidence is inward
during freedom
one is not confined
to function only within the boundaries
or details of a part of the scale
the liberty to function as justice
makes us free

while alive
those that lose lives
without ever having
been allowed
to have one
never mind
ownership
of many

A special play
with 2 casts
one is representing “liberty”
the other representing “freedom”
the director looks on in anticipation
the audience is freshly free slaves
not freed
because no one freed them
free as in they had to **** every one
with possible intent on enslaving them


Liberty: stop taxing us so much
so we can take over the world
with slave labor
Freedom: stop building an institution
out of transporting us
into your time machine of whiteness
**** and slavery
which is more inspiring
to human children?
no wonder greed breeds
more of itself
educating this
whiteness is taxing
beyond repair
too much pressure on humans
every where
even in itself
whiteness colonialism
dissatisfaction with life
dressed up as “Indians”
throwing tea over board
while freedom is being bled
to death
liberty
weeping
wailing
tantrum
in legal terms
institution
imperial

There is always the world that does not forgive
absolute unforgivess
The unbroken trauma in an event
Fearless
Never wavering into the assumptions of indulgence
Never paused long enough
to be understood properly
yet it drives the will to understand
The intervals between events of indulgence
in the frivolity of language
making bare the absurdities
Like fire that needs intelligent attention
to keep us warm
Neglect it and it consumes us all
This world demands a history of its own
Untainted by the acceptance or disputes of compromise
Inalienable direction
Weaving us together with unforgiving charm

identity curve
or is it at a point
jagged
what shapes
what boundaries
geometric
voluptuous identity
too graphic
waves spiraling
or stillness
a point
closer inspection
a circle
spreading out
like a rainbow slinky
tumbling
down a great pyramid stairs
pointing to it
"that is"

plants evolved organic defense mechanisms
when being preyed upon
they send off organic frequencies
that attracts a predator to what preys on them
natives and indigenous humans
have and even more complex
organic defense mechanism
to hurt and torture sends signals
organic signals
evolved humans
so therefore slavery
although the intentions were white supremacy
attempting to subordinate and control
through fear and enforcement of whiteness
because whiteness exists from fear of being tortured
African who are native
indigenous
but also
native
doctors
lawyers
engineers
professors
families
warriors
forcing into slaves
shipping and importing into every space imaginable
of America
conception
thorough dispersion
****** and procreating
light skinned warriors
infiltrated every aspect
of predatory whiteness
and so without meaning to
accidentally
the organic defense of natives
indigenous
humans
those attempting it be predators
are overwhelmed by humans who are still
close to being native
indigenous
so whiteness
in denouncing
native
indigenous
evolution
denouncing blackness
denouncing womanhood
we all came from Africa
whiteness denouncing origins
creates a place that can no longer exist
having invited and imported its own demise
outsourcing its own existence and sustainability
what a terrible mistake
to torture such evolved
humans
who also have the freedom
to perform vengeance
in any way desired
without warning
private and public
invincible
impeccable
predators to the failure of whiteness
to consume humanity
into objects of indulgence
in order for whiteness to continue
it would have had to keep us in captivity
completely
thoroughly
but it couldn’t
it fails its attempt
because we are too powerful
and we charmed so many
of associates to whiteness
and competed with the fear of not being white
making it too dangerous
liable
to keep us in captivity
won them over
to being human
native evolved
evolution is destroying whiteness
through infiltration
conception
procreation
pseudo forgiveness
organization
impunity of whiteness
becomes its weakness
whiteness would have to declare
absolute martial law
and be completely uniform
about its intentions and meaning
to be its group
severely brutal and unforgiving
but it failed to maintain
this status quo
legally
socially
psychologically
institutionally
sexually

My name is Elan Gregory. I am mixed race writer. If you do not relate to being African American, please call me “they.”
If and when referring to me when I am absent, please call me “them.”
Because of the failure of whiteness to assimilate into blackness. The biological acceptance of being from Africa.
Because of these patterns of disassociating from humanity that is imperialism.
Because of segregation.
I am not mixed race until the others who accuse me acknowledge they are as well.
A light skinned French father and light skinned English mother make a seamless offspring that is perceived and experiences confidence being “pure white.”
Everyone is pure mixed race. Not pure black or white.
So to those that resist evolution I am “They or Them."
I have three books published. "Organic Intelligence," “Lucid", and "Escape from Liberty.”
More recently I have been solely writing poetry. It is much more efficient and intimate.
I decided to write books to try and expose the urgency of deconstructing social construction. When in the event of socially constructed human dynamics there are practical (dialectical) ways in navigating and understanding what it means to be human.
Social construction is a verb. Not finished. An enforced process. Sometimes internal. How can it stop? When does it stop? How does it feel? How did it happen? Who started them? Why?
Many of the issues in society that I thought I could influence enough to change things for the better are still becoming worse.
Poetry I feel has more urgency and immediate potency in terms of energizing new events and movements.

philosophy is the bullets of beauty

being proud to be black is more important than
slavery
money
insurance
whiteness
caution tape around a social construction zone
that is also an advertisement
also is a warning
advertisement
whiteness
warning
blackness
advertisement
warning
in another language
pay attention to this
if you do not then this will happen
whiteness or else!
Liberty
constitution
justice
whiteness or else!
screaming it
acting like its this pretty evolved thing to be
technologically advanced
to the ultimate in dissociative technology
Organic Intelligence knows within power struggle of language
advertisements and warnings are the same

The bridge to the sea
through endless
loving captivity
to the rest of them
unannounced as white
constitutionalized
owns liberty and justice
declared independent
laborious enforcement
come across the bridge to the sea
that is me
that is you
women giving us birth
still after all this
the entirety of the coolest crew
in the school of whiteness
training facilities destined for a dangerous fate
under construction
caution tape
a crime scene
surrounding America
excess of whiteness
weapons designed to **** humans
genocide not hunting for food
the excess of constructing internal and external
civil war
with genius funding
murderously generous politics
To humans in America
whiteness has been the most brutal weapon
ever created
a weapon of mass destruction
I have never heard so many
children crying at the same time
dying too
in rivers like
me to you
oceans climbing on land
grinding massive stone mountain hearts
into the finest sand
pouring out in-between our fingers
again and again over
all over the earth
molten again
liquid heat like *****
whiteness the most dangerous standard to set
mixed is the thread of the world
the bones of society
the common blood
connecting the best of humanity
with the biggest mistakes ever conceived of
and it was never a time
when humans had to be conceived
it was the enforcement of whiteness
forcing indentured servitude
into race based slavery
enduring the mental illness of whiteness
criminally insane
whiteness that is not ethnicity
Irish
French
Russian
German
Scottish
Not the same as whiteness made in America
with parts imported from everywhere but itself
whiteness is nothing without humans
who justify its existence
by blinding with false goodness
reserved for a few
by pointing out some good in whiteness
the worst most painful torture
is experienced
whiteness should be on reservations
warm trusting
cozy domestication of evolution
covered with small pox blankets
supplied by Jeffrey Amherst
and desperately sought by Ivy connected leagues
of high class suicide
on reservations so that
while once again nativity
returns society to sustainability
so once again we can feel evolution
and the intimacy intended
the sexuality it needs
to be felt
otherwise whose feeling are you?
who is feeling who
here?
expressing such vile institution
where prisons should be whiteness
criminally insane
guarded by an oath back to humanity
as its permeable captive walls
slaves brought back from graves never had
reincarnated through
our organic intelligence
whiteness is nihilism
at its finest
thinnest vision
of illusion
fascism at its worst
cannot keep organic intelligence from humans

the day gave up
didn’t become night
gasoline came from penises
sugar was traded for people
alcohol was traded for ****
native women were *****
for free
ships sailed seas
the new wonder of the world
is how the ****
are any of theses colonists
still living
and telling stories
that do not include
****
their history
no matter how censored
is the history of ****
then they focused on space travel

paranoia of farming
they are watching
they know
the way you grow
is different
connected to human growth
attached
unbroken from the past
fastened to nativity
proof of how we evolved
scary
intimidating
like aliens
not trusting sustainability
to the machine of hyper-distraction
they call technology
paranoid and worried
when they realize
the fresh variety the garden has
when they realize agriculture
is burning them alive
sterilizing culture
paranoid anticipation
a native alien
immersed in plentitude

parades of bombs lighting the silver night
causing ripples in the magnificence of the ocean
depleting the sensitivities of creatures
famine in the midst of bountiful weaponry
abundance of fire
now self incandescent
peace of minds at war
mourning choice

Being black
the trauma of America
The early childhood
how do you teach
whiteness
that it is also really black
that its fear of being black
what could happen to them
what has happened to them
is happening
a reason to dissociate
from a melting ***
from humanity
a gateway drug
hallucination
what have you
a split

The same reason
you try and stop my mixing
My internal interracial *******
*** combustion engine
Our world we all have come from
cowardly exploited
Too busy trapped in the decaying residue
of white supremacy

whiteness wouldn’t exist with reincarnation
whiteness is only possible
if pressure of death is imminent
no longer being able to be conscious
no longer being able to have intense sensations
no longer able to exploit humanity
no longer able to convince
with a false history
that they are superior
if people knew in America
who think they are white
about the reality of reincarnation
that is an integral foundation to evolution
to society
to progress
now and before
in present culture
and past
that kindness and interactions
affected our next life
whiteness would have never tortured so many
human beings
economically
psychologically
legally
sexually
so that it could indulge in one measly lifetime

while you were contemplating gender and race roles
millions of years of gender and race mixing were going on

America needs a domestic violence specialist as president.

domestic violence is the interaction of separate people having gender crisis individually. How one deals with their own gender politics and/or crisis is how they relate to another human and their gender identity. Same with race and class too. Even within oneself it is violent to uphold the status quo of male whiteness.

most often couples diagnose the vulnerabilities of gender identity in each other and either reinforce the insecurities or try and help compensate to build up confidence. But the struggle of the individual may feel alienated because it is not something that may ever be settled or finished any time in the near future. If there is one. Nor does is need to be finished. So this demand of cisgendered relationships is a lot of pressure that causes unnecessary friction. It helps to know one is constructing this rather than desperately functioning in a construction of gender that is preconceived and punishable if one fails.

****!
that **** was multicultural as ****!

Officer of whiteness to my father
“whose that?”
while pointing at me
“My son.”
Thats when they began
profiling
watching
Handcuffing
itching to use their guns
gossiping
slandering
putting me in danger
that thing whiteness dismisses
as paranoia
that is a new driving force
that was once
called sexuality

protection from the vengeance
created by slavery
that is what the American institution is
that is how it formed

my poems are the ones
you find charred
in an empty still smoking world
silent except fires
dark clouds
everyone had grey skin
post frustration
post success
a clue in the rubble
when everything taken for granted
is gone

The space I am creating for her
The self I want to give to her
When she wants it
The space I want her to have to grow
To be her best self with me
When she is with me
The stars crumble into topaz crystals
Butterflies blast out of (Latin name for coccoon)
diamond antennae no mercy for the birds
Slicing every edible chance
nibbling her neck and the thin golden chains
Down the inside of her neck
Down into the depth of possibilities
I don’t want to control something with this much power
It would wear me out
Lose myself and she loses herself
Nothing left but the selfish self
Enforced on us after leaving the comfort behind
Those first lips we went through
out of the womb
out of the lips of ******’s sighs and yells
Out of the vaginal lips into the world
Umbilical
no going back now severed
Hearts resonate from anywhere
Even though this space seems in between
I appreciate her focus on what she is doing
It is a **** space that is happening
Reserve builds up the power of the heart

The reserve is the quality of life
My perspective on life
Is the background of the fires I have made
violence itself is like killing the dead
The jazz I come from is steroids for the soul
Communication is invincible !
Exorcising whiteness
Going through years of my poetry for a publisher
I almost called the police on myself for being too black
Every time I write a poem
I think the world is going to end right before I finish it
Is this healthy
Understanding how much power you have harnessed
from being so close to death so many times
I asked death to dance
On the shiny crowded dance floor
We got down all night
I was trying to make eye contact
As she was telling me about herself
But I couldn’t help thinking
Does she know there are people
Investing in the most efficient ways
To get rid of us
Definitely me and my brutal black mind
I nodded still

Is natural selection
none other
than our consciousness
choices
love regulation of beauty
is natural selection
none other than a business
capitalism
discrimination
culture
is natural selection
the dissociative language
of genocide
the poetry of the Eugenics Society*
is natural selection
the scientific demand for class war
race war
organic selection is none other
than the elephant in the room
trying to ******* tell me
that whiteness is more “natural”
than ethnicity
than evolution
than being human
than being alive

In her ******* is the history of class war
many many ******* later
immaculate conception
pure white by herself
unmixed
making him
making them
exterminating pressure
for the chastity of class war
class war’s immaculate conception
inheritance of her smile
genocidal ******
exists in ecstasy

Oh my god!
and the dimples while acknowledging
the absurdity of whiteness
right away I say I am mixed race
I interrupt as often as possible
therefore at an unexpected occurrence
the questioning
the inquisition lay before me
mixing unwell with my previous unaltered trauma
letting loose and being unacceptable
in that hole again
digging out of race
trudging through the social construction
thereof
The last thing I want in between us
actually I want nothing between us
not contraception
I want to be making heat
touching

whiteness
is a verb
it is never a noun

As I check the evenness of my afro in the reflections of storefront windows while walking by
Smiling about whether the eyes watching
Are scared of where blackness has been
I am proud