Come take a walk
With me.

You know*
You are the one
I’d die for.

I just wish to
Cry
And suffocate myself
Inside your smoke.

But my eyes,
They have been dried
For so many
Years.

There is so much
I wish to tell
But love,
They have cut my tongue.

Besides, I would not
Know
Where to even
Begin.

There is a boy
in my dream.
With eyes oh so gentle.

He thanks me
For being born.

But in the morning he is gone,
And I have not seen him
Ever since.

And you,
You gently drape
Your arms
Around me

And ask
If
I would go for a walk
With you.

You know
You are the one
*I would die for.

In the beginning we started out the same.
But do you realize that now, we are the total opposites?

Do you crave to travel? Move to different places year after year, and interact with different races, learning their new cultures? Because I’m so sick of these long flights, wandering aimlessly without a place to stay.

You were my safe haven. One that I thought would never change.
Anyone but you. Anyone in the world but you.
You were the only person I could look back to see that nothing had changed. You were the only person that could not be changed. You should have been exactly the same way I left you. You were supposed to be there, reminding me of where I was from.

You were my only hope. You see, I no longer know who I am.

Please, remind me of the girl I used to be. But love, you won’t know. You will never know who I really am, or what I’ve done, or what I’ve seen. I'm so confused. I know you are too. We're both confused. We are too young to figure out the exact moment life started to change.

It was good, wasn't it? Good old days. At least it was for me. Holding hands, sharing our memories, we were invincible you and me. We shared the same sky. We had the same blood.

Are you sick of your life? You've had the same house, same school, and same familiar people from the day you were born. I bet you have never even been on a plane. Are you looking for a way out?

Because all I wish for is a place to go back, without feeling lost. I want to surround myself with people I've known for years, streets I've known by heart, and a home that brings me comfort. That is all I want. I'm sick of being the new girl who comes and goes. I wish to stay.

I remember. Holding hands, we roamed around the streets like we ruled the city. The whole world was ours. I miss the smell of the morning air in the mountains. Miss the smell of cool rain drops in summer air, and sliding the snow hills on top of cardboard papers. You might not remember all these. You might not care. You might have never even thought of them before. But for me, these memories are always in my head, being constantly replayed on my mind. I treasure them so much. I will always miss those times.

To me, you were a flower, stuck on the ground, blooming in the spring and withering in the winter. I must have been a butterfly, who bloomed flowers like you, without even a place to stay. I'm still wandering, looking for a place to rest.

Do you understand what I'm talking about? Can you even hear me? I am not the girl you used to know. I am not the girl you‘ve known all your life. I've seen so many things, things that I shouldn’t have seen. Known things I shouldn’t even have known, said things I could never take back. I’m scared. I've changed so much that I don't even recognize my own self. I’m scared. I’m scared. I’m so ******* scared. Help me. I need you. Talk to me. I'm so lonely. Do you feel my loneliness?

Please don't treat me like everybody else. I'm supposed to be different. We are supposed to be real. We have the same blood. We were from the same place. We started out the same. We had grown up together.

How did we ever come to this? I know you. I know us. This world is not what we thought it would be. But please, don't be a stranger. *You of anyone.

The worst part was the numbness.
She was numbed down to the point she could not do anything.
She could not sleep. She could not cry. She could not read. She could not write.
It felt as if even the most basic, most fundamental action was strenuous for her.
All she could do was to lie down and stare at the ceiling, watching the clock slowly ticking away her time.
She wanted to **** herself. But how?
She wanted to give it all up. For who?
In her numb state, even sleep betrayed her. She could not move. All she could do was to lie down and let the numbness sink into the deepest layer of her skin.

My brother told me to hide
Under the table when
He’s upset.

I do. I hide
Under the table.

The small space
Under the table
Is our only sanctuary.
In here, we are both
Safe.

“They’re giving you
Trouble again?” he asks.
I do not reply.
I do not have to.
He is only a figment of
My imagination.

Clash.
Then a scream.

“Why did you ****
Yourself?” I ask.
My brother does not reply.
He only stares,
with a gentle smile on his lips.

I wish to rip that beautiful smile off his face.

A scream.
Then a clatter;
Like of glass pieces shattering all over the floor.

The yelling intensifies.
I can hear my mother screaming,
Crying.
My father curses,
Raging with fury.
He is knocking off every pieces of furniture in our
House.

I look around,
but my brother is gone.

So I hide
Just like he told me,
Under the table.

“What do you want,” he asks, his eyes bloodshot.

“Hurt me.” She says. “I want you to hurt me.”