21 guns salutes this army heart of mine.
A soldier, fighting to stay alive.
Penetrating at all angles with hope to survive.
Why won't you love me and let this heart thrive?

21 guns salute this army heart of mine.
Succumbing to a love it will never know,
Jumping in front of bullets because it seems right,
Being a martyr seems better than being alone.

21 guns salute this army heart of mine.
Made from titanium woven in steel.
Strong enough to face any threat that comes near.
But weak for the way that you make me feel.

21 guns salute this army heart of mine.
21 shots for you and me.
21 reasons I love you more.
Even if it results in the death of me.

I literally just had a panic attack.
It was scary.
My heart began malfunctioning in my chest
It was doing 150 beats per minute at best
And all I did was thought of the possibility, that we'll never be.
This is what you do to me.

I spent, half and hour under the shower,
Trying to get my breathing under control.
In... out... in, out and hold..
Holding my breath in hope it would lower my heart rate,
Before it was too late.

I watch my chest flutter like humming bird wings,
My chest, tensed violin strings,
A melody I know too well.
Symphonies and notes that tell,
You are my heaven and my hell.

Will someone please call the doctor?

I want to see you,
But they say love is blind
So I'll have to rely on my other senses.
Heightened because of your absence.

I want to read you
But my only option is braille
So I'll, use my finger tips to trace every detail,
Of your embossed paper mind where your essence is printed.

I want to hold you,
Clutch, onto your heart like a white cane ,
Show you that nothing will ever be the same,
Once you're leading me.

I want to you to know that I need you,
Why can you see that without you,
I'll be lost and blind,
Still searching for a love I'll never find.

© Deneka Thomas . All rights reserved

What If I said that you're my universe?
That even though you don't know me,
The thought of you ignites solar flares in my mind.
What If I told you you're my universe?
That even though you've never met me,
Every dream I have of you, volcanoes erupt in my soul,
What if I showed you my universe?
Where every particle of my being revolves around you.
Where the though of losing you proves cataclysmic
Though I, never had you to begin with.
What if I asked you to build a new constellation with me?
Let your name be stained across starry skies,
So I can, sleep through the day
And stay up late each night just to look at you.
My universe,
Mercy me please.
I am begging on my knees.

© Deneka Thomas . All rights reserved

I'm not supposed to like you.
I'm not supposed to fall for you.
It is forbidden like picking the fruit
From the tree of good and evil from the garden of Eden.
Yet here I stand,
The modern representation of eve.
The moral of the story is that,
Despite knowing the consequences,
I'll pick the apple any way.
We all do.

© Deneka Thomas . All rights reserved

Collages drip unto the new canvas making art.
Where passion and desire become one within perfection.
Strokes of paint that cannot be undone.
Watch the sun fall off of my page.

Do move a inch, stay in place for  while.
I need to blend your colors well.
The ocean likes your color too
Your reflection ripples on her waves.

Light and dark and in-between.
The blood of the sun mixed with the fading blue.
Clouds mop up the residue,
All I can think of is fire and hell.

Low you are going now.
Disappear under the night.
My canvas awaits your return.
My canvas awaits your return.