Fear not those monsters that in the dark hide
Fear those instead that lurk deep down inside
For those in the dark little harm will do,
but those deep down inside can consume you.

Today will soon be history
But what an opportunity
For us to shape our destiny!
It would not seem to make much sense
For us to waste this our one chance
To really make a difference!
Our yesterdays we must forget
Today is the one chance we get
for tomorrows without regret.
We should all embrace each new day
Tomorrow be able to say
We made the most of yesterday.

Was it me, or what made me think
That we were only supposed to be having a quick drink?
We were just popping in for a pint or two
But it seems it got out of hand, as these things do

If I had known things were going to go so far
There is absolutely no way I would have brought the car
But despite all my efforts to get on my way
There was always someone who begged me to stay

After that pint, I think the sixth one
I really began to join in the fun
really relaxing, somehow forgetting to worry
Sure weren’t they right? What was my hurry?

After a while; I really do not have a clue
I simply cannot remember what I did not do
I vaguely remember going out for some grub
And from the stamp on my hand I know I went to a club

But how did this auld one get into my bed?
What are these flowers doing round my head?
Where is God’s name did I get this garden gnome?
In fact how in the hell did I ever get home?

She seemed so annoyed I could not remember her name
storming off saying that all men were just the same
saying I was a different man than I was the night before
Check yourself in the mirror love, on your way out the door

Last night I had guessed she was about thirty three
But this morning she looked more like a pensioner to me
She was smaller and stouter, seemed to have lost half her hair
And so much paler Lord, how did I even think of going there?

Then she did her make up, hair extensions and false tan
False nails and eyelashes, the difference! Oh man!
I was astounded by the difference a corset and super bra makes
with her high heels on she was a foot taller for God sakes

She came down looking half her age, really quite the ride
seeing her made up like that at least restored some of my pride
But it did not change the fact she was old enough to be my mother
I must learn to be more discerning, one way or another !

Well thank God she eventually got on her way
the lads will **** me about this forever and a day
what I need is a cure, to chill out and relax
But unfortunately I am haunted by numerous flashbacks

I can remember feeling absolutely wonderful
thinking there was not a woman I could not pull
being convinced I was God’s gift to womankind
a sure sign I was completely out of my mind

I know I tried to chat up every woman in the place
Used my best pick up lines, though many laughed in my face
If they had a pulse it seems they were fair game
I tried young beauts and old boots, yes, I had no shame

I can see myself dancing, getting down to the beats
remarkable as I know I am blessed with two left feet
I can remember singing, were we at a Karaoke?
It is all coming back now, with horrifying clarity

I know I was refused entry to a number of places
My friends dragging me off bouncers when I got in their faces
their efforts rewarded by becoming targets for my rage
yet they still helped when I was violently sick at one stage

Oh God yes I was almost arrested at one time
I did not know peeing in public was an actual crime
I know I laughed at the copper, gave him some abuse
But when I saw the handcuffs my apologies were profuse

I can remember my friends becoming ever more frustrated
As I became louder and louder, increasingly opinionated
And yes the fire brigade were here, that was not a dream
I tried to cook when I got home, a “Full Irish” it would seem!

I have receipts for double vodkas with red bull
And Jagermeisters as well, things must have got dull
I spent a small fortune, my generosity obviously abounding
now my stomach is heaving, my head absolutely pounding

Have I any friends left? I must ring and see
And my car was towed, that is going to cost me
Oh dear God I feel sick, I am in so much pain
I know I say it every week but; I’m never drinking again!

It is the first day of Spring
Such a wonderful thing
A time for rejoicing
Definitely!
A new year in the making
now that winter is breaking
The whole world is awaking,
Thankfully.
The long winter is ending
Daylight hours are extending
Good weather is pending,
Hopefully.
Longer days so empowering
Plants that spent the winter cowering
Begin budding and flowering,
Abundantly.
After months hibernating
It’s time for procreating
Many creatures start mating,
Joyfully.
The whole world is reviving
Mother Nature is thriving
Offspring start arriving,
Happily.
Birds that spent winter sojourning
In the sun start returning
As the weather begins turning,
Eventually.
And such a wonderful thing
to hear the birds begin to sing
in the bright early morning,
Cheerfully.
Everything begins growing
New life begins showing
Bright new colours glowing,
Eagerly.
People get to wondering
what the new year will bring
Hoping, wishing, praying,
Earnestly.

My wife woke up the other morning
and positively glowered at me
I knew that look was some kind of warning
But wondered what on earth it could be?

It was quite obvious she was not happy
Though I had absolutely no idea why
I tried to talk to her but she was so snappy
Looked at me like she wished I would die.

I thought it might be about my snoring
Which I knew was very bad of late
though that normally had her shouting and roaring
and not in this silent but deadly state

Was it my restless legs syndrome again?
had my kicking kept her up all night?
Or had I hogged all the duvet yet again?
I knew something was not quite right

It was like waiting for a bomb to explode
the silence was truly agonising
my self confidence began to erode
had I done something without realising?

I knew I was definitely in mortal danger
That I needed to tread very carefully
She looked at me like I was some kind of stranger
Actually, more like I was her worst enemy!

I had no option but to push a bit harder
Thoughts of personal safety I left behind
I had to find out what was wrong with her
Before I went completely out of my mind

And then like a veritable tsunami
The whole truth it just flooded out
I knew then why she saw me as the enemy,
Understood what the strop was about!

She accused me of having an affair
With none other than her best friend
She was convinced that I just did not care,
Thought our marriage had come to an end

She did not believe I could be so cold
That I would throw away all that we had
She was convinced and would not be told
It nearly killed me to see her hurting so bad

I tried to convince her that I loved her
That nothing was going on honestly
That I could never have an affair for,
I knew she was the only woman for me

It was hard to convince her it was not true
But she realised in the end it seems
That having an affair is not something I’d do
The whole affair only happened in her dreams!

The whole thing was an absolute nightmare
It was incredibly frightening
One thing we learned from the whole affair
Is that dreams can be a funny thing!

Like alarm bells sounding a warning,
We both saw it as a wake up call
Now we have a reality check every morning
Before doing anything else at all!

Why is it that most of us men baulk
At the idea of having to talk
About issues we find troubling
Even when we know we’re not coping?
Why to men does it make much more sense
To say nothing, suffer in silence?
To shut out all those who might just care?
To refuse all the supports out there?
Why do we find it so hard to speak?
Do we feel reaching out makes us weak?
Do we think men must always be strong?
Maybe that’s where we are going wrong!
What a pity, what an awful shame
That our feelings we fear so to name,
That we can’t discuss our darkest fears,
That we are afraid of our own tears.
Oh when will the penny ever drop,
That this way of thinking has to stop?
For it shows great strength, courage indeed,
To ask for help in your hour of need.

When you get married there is no clause
That says much about Sister in Laws
It is a game of Russian Roulette
You just never know what you might get!

Thankfully I have been truly blessed
My Sisters in Law are just the best!
I wed the love of my life who happily
Had sisters whose friend I could gladly be.