I imagined the perfect poem
rich with rhyming in the verse
stating contents of my heart
torn from flesh to paper’s face
the words would dance on the tongue
reciting wisdom of the muse
this fount I’ll not claim as my own
flowing freely from the pen

this is the dream I chase each day
seeking heights of excellence
with the tools from the bard
implemented with sad regard
practice makes for more good
tumbled right on top of self
witness how much I struggle
mambo dogface to the banana patch

words with meaning escape my grasp
as I quote the great Steve Martin
he was a god among the mortals
describing smoking of the ***
my poor attempts to pin words down
demand attempts to try once more
on each day the sun will rise
again I’ll scribble utterance

in this space I’ll express
the full spectrum of who I am
with no fear of who may see
the good or bad with ugliness
because a life has its quirks
waiting for the poetic twist
conjuration of highest order
a perfect poem found at last.

© 2018. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20180408.

Are you holding back
Like I think you are?
Are you hiding your scars
And keeping your heart afar?

When the birds no longer flap their wings
And I grow thin,
Would you still be willing
To wait for spring?

the fear of the future,
devours me
it eats me whole,
and shows me no mercy

I lie awake at night,
the moonlight softly showing
through my blinds,
and am stirred by the thought
of the future

when I come out to my family,
what will happen?

will they try to beat it out of me,
will they kick me to the curb,
or will they stand by my side,
waving a flag in pride?

what will the future hold?

I'm a lot gayer than originally planned.
*******. Gay.
But I'm worried about the concept;
not sure if it's right to use the word
“gay”
when (I'm sorry I said it)
I'm really bisexual,
just particularly into women right now.
Like,
is that bad representation
of my sexuality?
Only encouraging
bi-erasure?
It just doesn't have the same
“umph”
to say
I'm feeling particularly
bisexual today.
But I've been telling myself
over and over
that it's okay,
no matter what
I'm feeling today.
I don't
need
your
box

anymore.

a young warrior fulfils a dream,
one on one combat, and his foe
folds like wet parchment.
a wounded musician, has his back
even as the javelin impaled
in her arm (her spoils)
drips with life.

the clatter of a die.
a number announcing if she survives
is softly reported

[or how Oscar’s help was neither wanted nor needed, thank you very much]