The wall that was a stoner,
It was always very high,
Everyday it felt it could get
Higher,
******,
Chipped
Looks, rough around the edges
Quite a scruffy looking wall,
It was bricking it once,
As it thought it was moving
But that was the clouds passing by.
The wall always felt used,
People,
Walking,
Over,
It all of the time,
Some even hit it,
"***** were always soar"
The wall was a stoner
Bricks,
Mortar,
&
More,
It was a high wall, because its days
Were still, it couldn't be **anything more..

Sitting in line, my dolls all still
Figurines sitting dressed up features
Frozen in that moment
Placid
Stagnant
Soundless
As all lips sealed with a sewn kiss,
"Never do they speak"
"Silence is there skill"  
Death seeps from staring eyes,
"They are the perfection I killed for",
Never would I wish for such perfection
But it only lasts so long as all flowers
Wilt
My dolls I hunt for, not anyone will do
They have to be a
Height,
Weight,
Beauty
Instilled, for me to appreciate them,
But those that fall, damaged in some way
Not as pristine,
"To the dumpster they must go"
I am called the "Doll Maker"
Perfection of eternal beauty Is my goal,
Features must be symmetrical
Not any face will do,
I will search for those of
Beauty
Exquisiteness
Symmetry
Is my model of perfection, those
Unsightly
Repugnant
Proportions
Not to my qualities, have no fear
You are beneath my view
Only the beautiful I seek,
"I Love My Silent Dolls"
Dressed sitting quietly still,
I am the
"Doll Maker"
For beauty & perfection I am willing to ******

I'm the misfit in the back of the room
the outcast around the corner
the shadow clinging to the walls
the bullied freak

Years of forced silence will finally be broken
when regret haunts you everyday for the things you did.

I pull at it as if to tear it off,
To touch it,
It doesn't feel right
Agitated
Frustration
Anger
Screams out of me, I release
Till all breath is spewed from my lungs
In need to inhale of that which
was exhaled, dizziness takes
Me over I fall
Crumpled
Fallen,
Disoriented  
  Life, I love myself, but then
Hate this skin, I feel though
Others not me should be enveloped
In this Carcass, I
Cut it,
Hurt it,
Bleed it,
But its me that is in this shell
Even though I know this wasn't meant
For me, its the one that I must in this lifetime live in.

See that girl there
The overweight one
The one with scars on her legs
Do you know what caused them?
You did
You called her fat, worthless, stupid
So she carved it into her skin
The word fat on her ankle
Worthless on her hip
And stupid on her arm
She cuts daily to let the demons out
Hurts herself so she doesn’t hurt others
She stops talking
Stops eating
Stops breathing
Stops living
Thinks the worlds better off that way

i wanted to write
about how you made me feel
but the page was empty
and i suddenly realized
it's the perfect explanation

The devils daughter she was
Birthed from sin
Opposites attracted
One night of
Sadistic
Heavenly
Pleasure
Burnt from her mothers womb
Cries that  awoke
Heaven
&
Hell
She was a beauty unparalleled
Her eyes a contrast
Sclera's were as black as death
But pupil's & iris as
White as silk
She was no ones fool
Knowledge
Satanic
Heavenly
Imbued with in her thoughts
Knowledge was her power
"Angel Winged"
"Devils Horns"
She bathed in holy water
She liked the feel of it upon her skin
"Burning with pleasure"
"Her horns burn bright"
She is akin to both the feelings of
Pain,
&
Pleasure,
For she was of
Heaven
&
Hell
Though both sent lower minions
For the sacrilege birthed
An abomination of beauty and sin
But she was her own person
Not bowing to either above or below,
She was of two worlds,
While living in plain sight,
That girl with black fire in her eyes she is the
Angels  Devil of Purity & *Sin.

I have committed the eternal sin,

As I write to you with blood running down my arm,
I  beg you to forgive me
for leaving you with this mess
but,
as my final words leave my lips,
I become victim to those forty seconds.