Ever wished life was back to a point where you were most happy?

The moment that gave you a sign of hope for a life story,

One you would share to your great grandson or granddaughter Laurie?

I've had moments that I wish would freeze, the moments that mold me to who I am today,

The memories that would rid my pain of yesterday,

The heartbreak that I felt, the moment that I fell,

It's all coming together and becoming a lovely tale,

The happiness, the sadness, the old crying of the eyes...kid,

Have you ever had this feeling of grief that makes you wish you had a belief,

In love and everything that is oh so sweet,

If you had then you would understand, having those moments would make you a man,

The days of childhood are over and it's quite a simple plan,

Time to grow up, but never forget what made you fearlessly stand,

Above the rest and everyone with doubt,

Live to be who you are and remember...only yourself.

The worst reek the best,
When will truth take rightful place?
  .  .  .  Popularity.

Awful writers glossed  .  .  .
Vanity spits in mirror—
  .  .  .  Ugly rubes preening.

To live
is so often to bleed
and I bleed deeply
my tongue stabs my bowels
following a broken mind
that my pills won't silence
I could ask for more
or take the hard,  effective route
and digest my brain
But I blind myself,
calling out a hollow question
consuming the ashes
while denying apathy
To live
is so often to lie,
and I lie deeply

Lanterns swing lonely
In bitter howling wind
The howl of a distant wolf
Flames flicker in the night
And she is lost—lost
Never to be found again

**~Marian~

Through the darkest night, the thoughts creep and strive on your emotions in a flurry,

Through the darkest night, when you wish god gave you a break from all of your problems in a hurry,

Through the darkest night, the time you realize that the future is blurry,

Through the darkest night is when the next day is the brightest and brings you glory.

makes me think of your lips
sweet like candy but
something hard behind it.
Watching the liquid pass my lips
make me think
of that morning
you kissed me good morning
and smiled.
The taste mulling in the back of my throat
is tangy like when you and I were at
Jack in the Box and
I knew I had to go home in an hour.
My buzz feels just like
your hands running up my body
and my lips on yours
and our bodies pressed together
as if we were one and your lips
is what kept me alive.

I'm on my third glass
and now it's like your lips
the first night.
Everything was new
and I was a Spaniard
and your body was a new continent.
As if making a map you were something I needed to explore
and I wouldn't stop till I did just that.
My buzz is stronger now
and I can't get comfortable
like the night after I came over at 10pm
and I couldn't sleep
you held me and kissed my head
you were the teddy bear that I
never had.
All I picture with my eyes closed
is your smile and those eyes
and your bone rattling laugh.

Half the bottle is gone
everything is a blur
like when you told me
"You're all I've ever wanted"
and I couldn't say it back.
Even when it was true.
I can't let go of your bracelet you gave me.
It makes me feel clingy
like you point out when I'm not so.
The wine is on my lips now
just like your taste
after you kiss me goodnight
and I spend ten minutes in a trance.

This wine is
candy and it's getting sour now
and it makes me wonder
if it was ever sweet at all.
My wine reminds me of you.

laying on the floor i searched for a song
one to match the pain the sorrow the fear i was facing
a song to understand the desperation
a song to understand the hurt
a song to to understand that sometimes it won't get better

walking through the streets i searched for a song
one to match the pain the sorrow the fear i was facing
a song to understand the mask
a song to understand the covering up
a song to understand that sometimes faking it won't get rid of the hurt

standing in the middle of the floor i searched for a song
one to match the pain the sorrow the fear i was facing
a song to understand the confusion
a song to understand the guilt
a song to understand that sometimes I can't take another step

but there is no song
there are no lyrics
there is no instrument
it's silence without you

I am breaking myself free
From the circle of your life
I am getting myself away
From the shadow of yours
I want nothing else
Just a total freedom
To breathe on my own
Stop following me around
Stop please stop...
I am building my wall
against you
Dont ever try to peep in
I would be vanished
The moment you'd able to step in.........
I am no longer........