She would
Build walls around herself,
A thousand feet tall.
"Don't trust,
Don't let anyone near,"
She told herself.

But sometimes
She would soften up.
Tear down the walls
And let others in.  

Only to be left,
To be betrayed.
So she would construct them again,
But destroy it soon after.

It was a cycle,
Building walls and then tearing them down,
Over and over again.

When I like a song
I'll play it a hundred thousand times
And when that's done,
I'll avoid it like the plague,
Skipping it on my iPod.

When I like a craft
I'll put my all in it,
And when that's done,
I'll slowly lose interest,
Finding another hobby.

I'm fickle-minded
Can't make up my mind,
Jumping from one thing
To the next.

That's why
I've never told you that
I love you.

I have no secrets
For success.
Only that
Of destruction.

Everyone assumes that
Us elite students in top schools
Are hardworking,
Morally upright people.
That we breeze through our work
And live life with a bright smile.

That's what they think.

They don't see
Our late nights, rushing assignments.
Copying each others' work hurriedly in the morning.
Feelings of inferiority, anger and jealousy consume us daily.

We're nothing more
Than ordinary people
Put on high pedestals.

"Oh my gosh, you're so lucky!"
She said to the one who received so much praise for her work.
Hiding the fact that
She was feeling pure jealousy
For not getting noticed herself.

"I totally ship you two,"
She teased her friend who was crushed on by a boy.
Hiding the fact that
Deep down, she wished that
Someone would think she was beautiful too.

She was too used to this routine
Of using fake laughter and weak smiles
To conceal her glares,
Gritted teeth,
And tears.

The world is
One huge
Jigsaw puzzle.

Everyone is a puzzle piece.
And just like how
Every puzzle piece is unique,
How the puzzle would be incomplete
Should even just one piece go missing,
Everyone on earth is unique,
And the world would be incomplete
Without any one person.

Except me, of course.
I'm merely
An extra piece.

She no longer
Imagined them
Kissing, cuddling on the couch
One day.

She no longer
Waited anxiously
For him to reply to her message
Sent an hour ago.

She no longer
Spilt her secrets and feelings to him.
Expose her other side.
She kept it all in.

For she knew
He had left.
Just like everyone else.

She no longer cared
About him.
She tried not to,
Anyway.

Her sadness
Was not beautiful,
Neither was it poetic.

Rather
It was a kind of desperation
Hopelessness,
That would scare others away.

And that's why she hid it behind a weak smile.
That's why she'd never tell.

I'm not a masterpiece churner.

You can't expect me
To sketch out
Expressive eyeball
After expressive eyeball.

You can't expect me
To finish colouring
My drawing
In an hour-long art lesson.

You can't expect me
To come up
With in idea
In five minutes.

I take my time.

But as they say,
Good things come
To those who wait.

The world through her eyes
Was full of objects, events
Half of which she'd never care about
And the other half
Would never care about her.

The world through her eyes was
Monochrome, black and white.
Everyday the same painful,
Torturous routine called life.

The world through her eyes
Was colourful, too.
Filled with a rainbow of personalities and characters
She would never become.

The world through her emerald green eyes.

Everything was beautiful, fascinating,
Other than herself.

You scream.

You yell.

You pretend to disappear,
In the hopes someone will notice.

Starving, craving for attention.

No one cares.

But then,

All they have to do is whisper,

And all heads turn.

She tried to fit in.

But she did it too well and ended up blending in with the black and white background, unnoticed amongst the vibrant, colourful individuals in the crowd.

So maybe she didn't do that good a job of fitting in.