Death is the one true peace,
the one true freedom,
where all pain, emotion or worries cease,
where there's no need for wisdom.

A vast emptiness or a cloudy paradise,
death brings an end to all things,
including wounds and cries,
it's the inescapable gift nature brings.

Life is filled with sadness and pain,
sadness for the dead and pain to the living,
but the dead don't care nor feel the rain,
that falls from the living, still crying.

Death kills life but hurts the living,
they're left with guilt, regret, sadness, anger, hatred and love for the dead,
death makes captives of those still breathing,
death is the cage in which the living are held.

Death is the one true peace,
death is the one true chaos,
Death is freedom for the dead,
death is captivity for the living.

I'm a little sleep deprived, a little too high, (a little too low) a lot hungry, a little overstressed, a little unfocused, (unconscious?) waiting, a little sick from-a little more caffeine please my cigarette buzz is going,
a little sore from running away, a little sore from being alone

When you feel low for no reason
When your sad emoticon is there throughout the season
Does it mean you lost something?
Does it mean you don’t have the wings?
That made you fly out of happiness someday
The wings which were the symbol of you being happy and gay

Aren’t the wings with you today?
Have they gone to some other land?
You would get them back if you may
Go to its origin with the wind and the sand
It might lead you to them
And it might tell you the problem
The problem why you are low
And all the things you don’t show
Perhaps, they could solve it
Solve the problem you have
Perhaps, it can lit
The light and the lamp of your life
And the brightness it might save
Like a caring wife.

Mistakes,
everyone makes,
but how much more
self criticism
do we take
before it breaks
us.

I fake a smile and carry on with my day
No one questions me not even a bit
No one asks me if I'm alright because
They assume my smile says it all
But when they ask I say 'I'm fine' and
Move on with my day
I'm always relieved there are no follow up questions
But there are times I wish there were
There are times I wish someone cared enough
To know the real me
Not the happy girl everyone sees
No more like **the broken girl I really am

They keep telling me there is nothing I could have done.
They say that I couldn't have stopped it from happening,
as if that is supposed to make me feel better.

As if the fact that horrible things happen
and there is no way to prevent them
should come as a comfort to me.

There is evil in this world,
and you can either
ignore it,
attempt to banish it,
or try to save those you love
from it.

There is no correct choice.

You will fail,
regardless.

Its so silent I can hear myself breathe
I can hear the wind sing its song outside and maybe a car drive by
- but that is all.

I am here writing,
trying to express my self as I have this urge to let it all out,
to be a part of something greater-
Something Better.

We search for better-
Always searching for something better, something greater- something more.
So busy searching we forget to truly live.

We let moments pass us by,
moments of time that are there for us to seize.
Moments that we could enjoy with the people we love,
or doing the things we love, or
stopping
 for a moment
to listen,
learn from,  and                       
love ourselves.

We are to consumed with wanting to be better financially,
wanting more,
competing,
struggling,
chasing pointless unimportant relationships,
allowing pointless situations to bring us down and consume our time worrying about them,  

  until
    
we realize one day that time has passed,          
  years have passed

Whether we are successful or not in our chase for more,
Once that time has passed it is too late, it is lost, gone forever
And only then will we want the more fulfilling 'more's',
the 'more's' our hearts truly desire.

The more time we should have spent with our partners
The more time we should have spent with our parents
The more time we should have spent with our children
The more time we should have spent with our siblings
The more time we should have spent with our truest of friends

The more time we should have
spent with our pets,
doing the things we truly love doing,
enjoying every moment we have in our lives,
instead of chasing the dollar
or stressing over
pointless matters 
 that are going to be forgotten about soon after.

 The more time we should have spent learning from,
listening to,
connecting with, 
and loving,  
ourselves.



Its so silent I can hear myself breathe
I can hear the wind sing its song outside and maybe a car drive by - but that is all.

A moment of silence, a moment of peace.
Connecting with my inner self,
Not anxious, or worried, or losing my breath.
I am peaceful.
I am alive,
and
*I can hear my self breathe.

May I borrow your pen?

The one that holds

Genius within

Poking holes

Through many poets

Paper thin skin

Leaking ink

That makes them

Re- think

Their careers

Over again



May I borrow your pen?

The one that holds

The master key

That will unleash

My inner master piece

A sword

With the blood of

Literary casualties

Wounding other writers

Who try to compete

With your awesomeness

…May they rest in peace



May I borrow your pen?

I’ll try to remember

To give it back

But the power

Of the ballpoint

Is something no poet

Should ever lack

I promise

To use its power for good

Anything else would be a sin

So what say you?

Lend to a friend...your inspiration?

…May I borrow your pen?

Love** lost in dreams
Far away from the soul,
For the beauty of life is
Lost in my mind
Left lonely, in pain
This **** in my spirit
I've been unable to cleanse
Tired friend, fellow traveler
Grasp my hand and
Feel cruel death pervading
In this world, this land
Lies unknown evils
Forbidden to know
Or comprehend good
Underneath the wild, impassioned sky
Of centuries past
Wandering in ageless night
Searching for the end of sorrow
Scouring through the mystery
Of existence and free thought
Here comes the exhilaration of
The cosmic dance of eclectic vibrations
Playing memories of melodies
And deep seated wisdom
Just beyond the cusps of our fingers
Beyond long, satin dreams
Stuck moving with the flow of
My slowly beating heart
As earth ceases to spin
In a moment, my desire calms
I have found my true self
My autonomy will never die
My heart does not weigh me down anymore
Floating in a state of bliss
You are the one person I have left
The beauty who has never gone from my side
Who's jeweled eyes illuminate my being
Like the night skies over the glaring city lights
Who's smile transcends boundaries of this known world
No assembly of words can begin to express
How just your touch eases the minds of beasts
Simple, pure, ecstasy hovers
Over the flickering fires of her passion
Living in angelic state of being
She forces cries of beauty from blind men
Streaming light of wisdom across infinite universe
As I gaze upon the stars of her kindness
Forever embowered by her grace
I need every essence of her bliss
The apprehension of lover's souls
Lost in the innocence of lusting eyes
Things left hidden from the
Enslaved masses who lie
In solemn wait for a taste
Of what it feels like to be free
Uncertainty striking fear into their hearts
As they delve ever deeper
Scouring, searching for what has already found them
Where it has always remained
The children of the wilderness
Hold the forgotten key to eternity
Human nature, this disease of self strife
Has mankind drowning in
An imaginary state of grace
Impure manifestations of
Unknowingly self mutilating prose
The serpent slithers slowly around our being,
Wide eyed and calculated
Innately beasts, unable to quiet ravenous, lustful intentions
We have misplaced our senses
Flowing through the caverns of life blindly
No good intentions remain
Upon finding misconceived treasures
We trade our consciousness for infinitesimal belongings
And blame others for our own failings and insecurities
Unable to forgive ourselves for thieving
Virtues and conscience from future ages
Living in a world, surreal
Where beneath the surface of
Media driven fallacies is saved individuality
Locked and hidden away from the masses
Dreaming fantasies into reality
Embowered by your warm embrace
Seemingly discovered unrivaled pleasure
I hear your heart slowly beating our lives away
For the shed blood of our past lives
Is recycled now, "Alive!," she cried
Awakened in the midst of a dream
Locked somewhere inside myself
My mind scattered in too many worlds to work efficiently
How can I forget why I have made this journey?
Sailing along the sweet breath of angel's choir
No longer shall I fear the unknown
I will no longer be fed the harsh injustices and lies
Of this used up, barren world
Your kiss goes softly
Beyond my lips and into the depths of my soul
Still clutching the vine
Children breast fed insanity through soured milk
Question your own indecision
The disease of latent, lustful desires
Will tear apart your home
Down turned eyes in shame
Declaring war upon the unborn
Who drown in hatred
And the false sense of being loved
Forced to live their lives
Knowing nothing but childhood fantasies
Naivety forces a silent scream for knowledge
Breathe deeply the wonderment of the wilderness
Forcing blind eyes into the morals of mankind
Out of fear of being outcast and exiled
Build your stronghold out of a center of loyalty and honor
Your face inspires silent intrigue
The one true form not ruined,
Not stolen from the enigma of righteousness
By hate and fearful, dastardly instincts
Souls thrashing wildly, chaotic
With no sense of direction
Unfortunately, this kismet cannot be deemed unjust
Deserving to walk hand in hand with death
The curse of falling just short of our desires
Left shaking in the cold, unrelenting world of lust and betrayal
No concept of real and surreal any longer
Shamans have foretold of such disasters
The walls of sanity crumbling before our eyes
Louder beats the heart of your discontent
Finding delight in mankind's incurred demise
Wiping sweat from the brows of beasts
The wandering eye innately searching for new meat
Millions expended in lustful quest
Enticing is the unquenchable thirst of desire
Shall I forever bear your cross of hate?
The last piece of my soul glimmers as it is ravaged by your touch
The last of my affection and love I shall bury
Where no light may shimmer
Guarded with riddles and bewilderment
Never finding a source of betterment
Killing who I once was
In order to erase the pain you cast upon me
The pain that forces grown men to fall upon knees
With black rose, she replied
"I give you my body, but never my heart"
Drowning in a chemical waste of salaciousness
My free will, stolen and hauled away
Pilfering my comprehension of life and love
Whispering sweet deceit unto the minds of our own flesh
Calling upon plastic deities and iconoclastic idols
Forcing weakness into humanity through the misrepresentation of free will
Shivering in the cold seasons of deceit
Watching as forlorn mothers give up unborn children
Their sorrow unites them under heavy skies
Huddled together, alone
Feeling only emptiness and shame
Fear pervading, bounding between broken hearts
Flesh ripped from beating flesh
Doomed to eternal anguish and unrest
Hearts heavy, forced to hold onto such misery
When shall revelation come?
The magnificence of beginning anew
Tired searches through tangled fates
Pretentious beings, undeserving of finding true love
Walking along the periphery of sadness
Unheard, undiscovered point of view
Falsification of our spirituality
Throwing stones at our creator
Yet, punishment still incomprehensible to blinded masochists
Continually directed towards evil by greed
Altruism has become incommunicable
Races ******, faking sorrow for a moment in the spotlight
Consciences left muddied with sin
Sensory perceptions dulled
Forced to sit idly by
While the moon changes the tides of my mind
A single cloud hangs drearily over my sorrows
This demoness from my nightmares
Trickles unknowingly into my reality
No immunity from one's own self demise
Plastic, insincere smiles forecast  
The ambivalent duality of man
We must defend each other from ourselves
Called upon to fight in this never ending battle
False accusations leveling the playing field of life
Flirting with the mystics of forgotten lore
The selfish needs of the human race left behind
Calmly we enter the palace of love
This castle, a fortress built on trust  
A reincarnation of innate, preternatural passion
Don't look upon the horizon for the answers of today
Find knowledge in the sullied, torn pages of history's lament
Waving excitedly, temptation captures our gaze
Awaiting a destiny that will sever supreme consciousness
Uneducated decisions made presiding over the life of another
No being will notice the face of pain in the unborn
Soiled our own goods with haste
Unable to understand the beauty of life
We are all criminals by nature
This wasteland does portend a future of destruction
Promised acquittal of our betrayal by men made of stone
We toss away our dignity in a mask of inebriation
Where does the gray lead the ******?
Psychotropic prescience of our kismet
The smile of the fallen angel looks hauntingly familiar
The permutation of lies through a thin film of comfort
I will be awaiting your arrival
In my final hour of being
Instant gratification has interlocked us with the ******
Fight through the coagulant of chaos and beg for a second chance
The thoughts of unknown genius have reinvented our race
A false sense of virility plagues the minds of the inebriated
My fervent heart beating ever more quickly with your supple touch
My eyes dive and dart away from the injurious visions of jealously
Awaiting my reincarnate reprise of rebirth
Flirtatiously, we whisper tender lies of affection
Her gaze looked deeply towards my inner being
As my emotional barriers fade into oblivion
Her smile holds the secrets of the infinite
Mortal issues seem insignificant as I
Began to brush away hair from her face
A predator tamed by acts of kindness and love
Her soft lips of silk tantalize my senses
I have fallen ill for lack of her touch
This worlds creates untold bewilderment
Of the feeble minds who inhabit it
An aching, lachrymose gaze I wear
Irrevocable damage forced upon the life I could not bear

i choose to walk beside you.
we walk this journey together, you and i,
distant by earth’s miles, but not by the heart’s;
each knowing the other, less by the lines of our faces
and more through the footprints we leave on the pathway,
the pools of wisdom we leave beside it
for others to step into, enjoying its coolness,
soaking deeply in its cleansing,
allowing it to wash away the dust, the soil,
the tears of the journey.
here, now and until you need them no longer
i offer you mine.
lift the cup high, over your head and
let them run, splashing all the way to the ground…
let them wash your dusty, weary feet.

i choose to care for you.
those words spoken casually by some,
but intently from one whose compassion
becomes a torrent in seasons as this,
from one who has known the heart break of loss,
sent swiftly to you,
rushing down to a parched valley…
not in voluminous, drowning torrent,
but in rivulets of refreshing all around you;
ointment to apply to your wounds.
let this be salve to your loss-torn soul.

i choose to share with you.
graces, extended to me from others who saw the pain,
the burden, the travail of my journey,
these graces becoming mine to pass on.
words sent in comfort;
arms to wrap ‘round, hold and strengthen;
wisdom to bind up a broken heart…
grieving with you,
my tears i blend with yours
as together we weep.
please, drink these graces,
every drop of peace, hope and comfort…
let these revive your longing heart.

i choose to encourage you.
drink deeply from my well for the journey ahead.
draw from the graces of others all around you.
store it, hold it, let it revive and energize.
draw from the wisdom of the Ancient of Days,
for she lives…
she speaks to all who will hear, who will listen.
let her restore your tired mind.

*all of this…
this is what i mean when i say today,
“i choose to grieve with you”

Where I am is somewhere sacred
Where I am is somewhere familiar
Where I am is a place hidden
behind so many recognizable traps
and unmistakable signs
It's a place so predictable
A feeling so sour
So rotten
So old
And I know I'll remember it forever
because I'll always feel the pull

Words are spoken
that are meant to change the course.
Acts reenacted
over sentiments enforced

If love were all to life
then life is mine no more

If wisdom came with age
There'd be nothing left to *****

Offered is a body, emptied
of everything it felt,
Playing one final game
with the meager cards it has been dealt.

A pattern is forming wherein nothing lasts
a hole is growing and consuming all within its path
Whatever I was before
I feel slowly molded anew
Whatever I once hoped for
my dreams now are few
spinning around one desire
one shining, brief embrace -
that lead me to believe in something
that can never be replaced.

All I am is hate.
All I give is pain.
My heart is used to grieving
over nothing
ventured or gained

whatever words i speak
whatever emotions flood my soul
it's nothingness that fills the ears
and mystifies the goal

you won't understand
whoever you are
these words aren't for you
or anyone at all
these words are simply full
of an empty, futile wish
i want to know there's meaning
i want to know there's life
beyond all the pointlessness
beyond the sharpest knife

so say what you will
say nothing at all
say you saw it coming
say you know it all
say you never loved me
say you never will
so that i can let go
and find peace in growing still

there was love, at once
true and false
there was happiness
that belied any loss

The part of me that hopes
The part of me that dies
The part disgusted by my treachery
and pathetic, selfish lies
The part of me that's hurt
The part of me that grows
Won't be satisfied by words alone
Nor his impassioned throes

It's a choice I alone must make
to sever bitter bonds
that hold me to a life so
ignorant, and memories long gone.

The change I could make today
So simple, so I've heard,
requires only mindfulness
and breaking from the herd

To become a ripple in the pond
a leaf
upon the fruited tree
so that when last breath I draw
the farthest thought will be of "me".