All I want to do is have fun,
but all you tell me is that I ****,
practice makes perfect? wasn't that your words?
why can't you just let me learn?
You don't like it when I talk back,
but still you proceed to make me feel bad,
if what I'm doing is not funny,
I'm sorry but I'm not trying to entertain you, honey.

And just like that,
your laughter became
that song
in my playlist that
I will always skip.

My name,
no longer heard
in between a
lyrical kiss.
That smile of yours
faded,
slowly, into
the melody.

How your heartbeat
matched my own,
eventually
I only heard mine,
sounding like a kick drum,
reminding me that
even without you here,

I was still alive.

I look for you
in everyone.

If hurt and stress and hopelessness
Could do more than drive one insane
The world would be in awe of all
the blood spilt from such pain

If the world’s pain could break a heart
Quite literally in two
People would think before they spoke
And filter what they do

Seeing someone in a coffin
Who’s heart in two ’as been broke
Would make one reconsider all
they’ve done and all they’ve spoke

They’d see it makes a difference
If all things done and all things said
Made up the living particles
Inside our veins and in our heads

If pain was a substance inside our veins
Which seeped into our hearts
And first caused cracks to form inside
Then tore it in two parts

You’d make sure those around you
Knew they’re not alone
Lest you be left with pieces of
A heart that can’t be sewn

So next time that you’re angry
And you leave someone depressed
Be thankful that their feelings
are not physically expressed

Because little do you know
Beyond what sight allows
If one could die of a broken heart
So many’d be gone by now

I'm sad and hate who I've become
Everything is caving in
Because I'm all out of options
I don't know how to win

And if I'd face the awful facts
For one day in my life
I'd see that the only way out
Would be to end everything with a knife

You asked
What is the scariest part?

I answer
The scariest part
is not the feeling of loneliness
or the darkness that fills you
despite the looming pain
of emptiness

The scariest part
is the realization  
that you have lost yourself
completely
sinking in as you lay awake
at 2 AM
because you lost the ability to sleep
and you can't even cry
because you don't even care

line's I can't erase
sleep on it
tomorrow is your day

I know what you're up to
I have to disappoint you
there's a way for me to move on

If it wasn't so hard to love you
we could cross this plane
I tried holding you close

let me in
all I needed was you
take the key

don't lock me inside
I won't be sorry if you leave
I won't be sorry when I go

you'll never have my heart
until you let me go

We walk around expectations
Dressed in shades of sadness colored blue
Smiles that keep us glued together
Not matching the rest of our hue

Our eyes betray silent agony
The stormy secrets hidden well
Wash me clean or strip me bare
From this temporary hell

Chase happiness while you can
Do not think it can always wait
The day you get around to it
Could be one day too late