There will never be another you.

Nothing has ever been more true.

This is fact like gravity, real like the sun.

No one can undo the damage done.

There will never be another first love.

And with one word the final shove.

I am now in free fall.

Grasping aimless at the wall.

I have never known a life without you.

And I find I am terrified to.

For too many years you have been my stone.

And now comes the time for me to atone.

The most tragic end there could have been.

My heart is now fragile like an empty tin.

Two souls supposed to be joined.

They're separation now officially coined.

As my ring was placed upon her finger.

The last remnants of me no longer linger.

I feel as though I should hit the ground.

But then they would all know the hell I've found.

I was supposed to be over you and me.

But I find it was the only key.

I am now locked out from who I used to be.

Facing tomorrow without the love I wish to see.

So goodbye, love of my life.

I hope you find happiness with your new wife.

It wasn’t fast or loud
It didn’t happen with a bang, or a crack, or a crowd.

It was more like sleeping.
A slow slip a lovely creeping.

It wasn’t a fall or a trip
It was an aching rip

I just looked at you
And I knew

But I wasn't surprised
It had been there all along I realized

But it had just opened its eyes
Beautiful brown ones full of love and void of lies.

That is how my love for you came,
Slowly and without shame.

I felt the arrow pluck my heart
I don't know how to help myself
I'm slowly but surely falling apart
and I'm dying for your help.

I watch the sun rise from your eyes
then the clouds swept the shine away
I'm trying so hard to get to sleep at night
but I feel like I'm slowly wasting away.

I felt the familiar beat of your heart
I guess I must have remembered wrong
because it was the heels as you depart
and my thought is a jumbled song.

I wish you would just turn back time
back to when you felt in love with me,
to when we fought the world and felt fine
but I guess the one to blame is me.

I look around and I don't know what to feel
my mind has become a muddled mess
I hope that over time I will learn to heal
but there's this tightening in my chest...

and I just feel like I can't breathe.

I listen to that great darkness
watching for burning ships
their bows bearing women
and the black prows are coming
plowing the mist into water
as the wind lifts up the bowsprits
leaving a wake I want to be
left alone with night after night
like a sleeping knife that runs
deep through the belly
between the thighs of dreams.

i am selfishly lost in my own dictation and imaginary metaphors.
i have blatenly forgotten to thank you
for making me feel the essence of innocence that has been so eternally masked behind my insecurity of loneliness.
the way you express your body language,
as if it were a puzzle -
a mystery to keep away the longed clarity.
unfortunately, the tactics you hold to be true about yourself, have been unraveled. mistakenly poured out into the air, and
have landed into my arms.
my whole being is engulfed in the comfort of
the warmth you so willingly radiate.
I promise to hold onto it.


oh
and
thank you.

It glowed gold
not orange or yellow
It was gold I say!
When I lifted the blind
there it was
from behind those distant hills.
Gift of the morning
and I welcomed it.

The warped cutting board
the stinking drains
not enough soap,
nor medicine.
Never enough
Gratitude a long way off
Then this gift changed
a complaining heart.


Out there I am queen
Out there I can breath
Unsullied by housework
and balancing accounts
cheated of playfulness
and human contact.
This gift of the morning
this  ribbon of gold.

The pleasure...is good. It is wild, and bright.
But...not the same. Not something to write in the stars, not
something that blazes across my skin,
why?
Why is it different?
Almost gray...

One for sorrow, two for joy...
Black spots in waves over
Snow crusted
Fields and the jagged
Dark teeth of pine
Beyond.

Girl, boy, silver, gold.* I
I only know her well enough
To trace the place on my face
Where it last
Touched hers, with a
Pensive finger as

I gaze out at the
Winterness floating by.
Yes, I guess that feels like a
Smile. Eight for a wish, nine
For a kiss.
Something secret wonders if

It ever will want to be told,
And I hold the part of myself
That would rather soar than
Join feathers with another,
Tightly. I never seem to get my
Crows in a row.