I don’t have many,
but if I could take some back,
I would never have gone to that party
and I would never have stopped writing back.

Late in the night these days,
when I think of what occurred back then,
how I said nothing about it,
I can’t help but cry.

The same reaction happens
when I remember how broken I felt inside
as I’d let myself get drunk and high.
Nearly every night for weeks.

The way I pushed you out,
the way I said goodbye,
the way I curled up in that room
and prayed to something that I’d die.

I didn’t like being sick.
I hated the emptiness.
The loneliness that consumed me.
I shouldn’t have reacted that way.

I just want to wake up tomorrow,
and forget these things.

One wall is full of magnificent posters
Of a little girl's future dreams.
The other painted over with vibrant art.
One wall is a diary oozing with words
Of every unwritten song and unsaid thought
The other a painted map of all the adventures
That await her if she follows her heart.
...
Yet these posters cover up gaping holes
The paint covers up the scars
The words cover up the pain
The map her deep flaws
...
The room was never meant to be seen
By anyone else but the girl
Who lived in fear of the demons
Before realizing she
Was the only monster
Living under her own bed.
...
And no matter what she did
To cover up her empty walls,
The suffering
  Would forever
    Be locked
     Within them
...
Her room forever emptier
Than her heart.

even in these times of Armeggedon
the sky is falling
end of days prophecies
I aspire to
seeing everyone's ear glued to a phone
electronic coming of age wired humans
three years old
gots  cell phones I podPads google
better than I walk
http: ?/youngs/.what?
they know
maybe life's gonna be a combo of
Electronics and wired brains and 3D
everything
still
we gonna have to deal with all

these hurricanes
and shootings
lord
I gonna start hanging out with republicans who
support gun-rights
just to feel safe
in a crowd

i have spoken
to the ghost in which
resides within the depths of
me

for it resonates in my heart
and lives within
the ache of my chest
       it haunts my home
  &
       my body hurts
it crawls like the spider
spindling through my veins
deforming the vessels that once
so beautifully sculpted me
nobody said you weren't beautiful
for the sunflower that grows,
nay,
      thrives
even though i hadnt tended to it
lives on without me but

maybe it was the ghost

because
i have spoken to it ,
for it dictates the lack of
productivity within me  
      (they had mentioned that the
economy was weak)
however,
everyone told me that she was beautiful
but even the arc de triomphe
is flawed.
i wanted to believe otherwise but

maybe it was the ghost

who are you?
because i had heard that the ***** dishes
in
     my sink
weren't going to get washed unless i found
out who you were
you blasted old thing
      rotting away
                   at my soul



i bet you had
heard otherwise but

maybe it was the ghost

कई वर्ष बीत गए है तेरी याद में रोते हुए,
लिख रहा हु आज तेरी यादों को पलको को भिगोते हुए,

जब पहली बार ये नज़र तुझपर पड़ी थी,
मुस्कुराया था थोड़ा सा मैं क्योंकि मेरे सामने एक परी खड़ी थी,

धीरे धीरे हम एक-दूसरे के नज़दीक आते गए,
हंसकर एक दूसरे से सारी बाते बताते गए,

वो खूबसूरत पल धीरे-धीरे गुजरते चले गए,
हम उनके करीब वो हमसे दूर बढ़ते चले गए,

हर वक़्त हर पल मैं उनके लिए दुआ करता,
आंखों से आंसू गिरते फिर भी हंस हंस कर बाते करता,

खुदा को ये रिश्ता टूट जाना ही मंजूर था,
दर्द देना तो पहले से ही दुनिया का दस्तूर था,

अचानक से उनके सारे लब्ज़ बदल गए,
ओ सारे सपने पलभर में ओझल हो गए,

शायद उन्हें मेरी परख नही थी,
शायद उन्हें प्यार की समझ नही थी,

सच्चे प्यार का किस्सा अब पुराना हो गया,
दर्द से दोस्ती ,ये दुनिया वीराना हो गया,

दिल से एक सच्ची दुआ उन्हें हमभी मुस्कुरा कर दिए,
आपके दिल मे हमेशा जलते रहे खुशी के दिये,

हर सपने आपके पूरे हो जाये,
सफलता आपके कदम चुम जाये,

आज का प्यार पलभर में बदल जाता है,
ये इंसान तो पैसे के लिए अपनो को भूल जाता है,

आज अपनी टुटी कलम से आपको लिख दिया,
हमने भी बड़ी मुश्किल से दर्द में जीना सीख लिया,

आज मुझे ये झूठा प्यार समझ आ गया,
आज मेरा अकेलापन ही मुझे भा गया,

अगर ज़िन्दगी रही तो ज़रूर मिलेंगे,
मेरे प्यार के  फूल भी फिर से खिलेंगे,

एक अधूरी कहानी...........

blue
       everywhere
                            why
calm
         sky
               think
colorless
               one substance
                                        why
transparent
                     water
                               notice

i see your finger wrapped around the trigger of your imaginary 74
i feel the empty pit inside your stomach you scramble so tirelessy to fill
i hear your muffled cries hidden behind your toughboy masquerade
i taste the bitterness of your sorrow
and the familiar burn of whiskey straight from the bottle

i want to reach inside your stone-cold chest
and cradle in my hands the warm fragile heart i know you hide
you're a baby bird nestled in a bed of tangled thorns
and i'm the little girl wishing to nurse you to health in a shoebox lined with cotton

i see you in brass knuckles on soft shaking hands
and in leather belts digging into sore red skin
i love you more than you could ever know
or even begin to understand

cherry pits held in my cheek
blackberry juice stains on my teeth
sticky heat and the tartness of love
the golden honey glow of your peach fuzz
the taste of summer lingers on the tip of my tongue
august sun fills me up and i come undone

trust is easier to break
than to put together again