Open arms
Like a friendly invitation
Calling me in
Drawing me closer
Wrapping around me
Squeezing so tight
Tight around my neck
No breath
Pleading
Begging
They let go
Choke back my tears
Apologize
I accept
Hug and make up?
Nod of my head
Familiar hands on my back
Stab
Blind sided
Falling for the trick
Falling on my knees
Begging please
Hand me a bandaid
Stick it on my back
Tell me it's all better
While there's blood running
Running down my back
Pooling at my feet
But we pretend
Pretend it isn't there
Like we don't see it
Oh what good actors
Great actors we are
How could we possibly ignore
The life slowly seeping
Out of me

Here I sit
Between two choices
Between two people
Between two indentities
Looking for a happy ending
In a world divided
As sharp as black and white
To my left
Is what society wants me to be
Smart and respectful
Following the rules
Dressing to impress
safe, but
To my right
Is what I want to be
Dark and edgy
Rebelling
CLoaked in black head to toe
Black rimmed eyes
Loud music blaring
But the thing with black and white
Is that there is a gray area between
With infinite shades
Some wear it on their face
For everyone to see
While they group together
I'm left in wonder
For when I look in the mirror
I am suddenly colorblind
Blinking back at myself
for hours on end
Trying to figure out who I am
Am I more of what I'm trying to be
Or what I should want to be
Maybe I'm a perfect 50/50 mix
That isn't so perfect after all
It's plain and boring
perfectly ordinary
On the left
I would be a fake, and
On the right
I would be a fake

I study your eyes like I've never before
And I realize how amazing eyes are
How can two people completely different
Share the same pale eyes
Especially one so lively and loud
Deserving of vivacious eyes
Have the same eyes as someone
Who can be serious and hard-working
But fits those cold pale eyes
Or is it all my imagination
That they're so different
When they could be the same on the inside
Or is it just my lack of hope in the world
That makes me see the gray in things
That others find color in

Someone I used to know
Once asked "What if people change?"
I pondered the question
And thought of a few more
Maybe they didn't change
So much as become who they really are
Or they're just exploring other parts of themselves
That haven't come out before
Or maybe change is real
But is that part of them ever fully gone
Or will it pop up every now and then
Unannounced and maybe wanted or maybe not
Can people truely change
Or has there always been that part of them

Soemtimes I just wanna cry
But I haven't got a shoulder to cry on

Sometimes I think I feel a connecction
But I just get hurt when it's unrequited

Sometimes I want nothing but love
But I have no one to share it with

Sometimes I need someone more than ever
But I never get the request filled

Sometimes I can't help but want to be held
But I always end-up sitting alone

Sometimes I want to break down
But I know I have to act strong

there is a bandaid
on my chest
covering a hole
from where your hand
reached in
and touched my heart
so strongly
that it shattered,
leaving me
*heartless

I would love for you to kiss me
Kiss me how I could actually feel it.
Feelings might not be mutual
But agreements are out the door
Just because that door is closed
The kissing door isn't

I want to feel your lips graze mine
I want to feel them in me
I would love for the kiss to end up
With the both of us intertwined
Like that one night
When I never though I'd feel that kind

That kind of chemistry in bodies
Unlike the ones I can feel in lobbies
I want your hand to hold mine
It's terrible that this isn't the right time.

Here I am again
Stuck in between
Stability and losing my mind
I don't know what is best
Usually it's less
Than what's happening behind the scenes
I wish I didn't find you so keen
It'd make this easier
But I'd end up sleazier
That's something I don't want
Even though sometimes I have that front
I want what's best
I'm told that I should take rest
From all these guys
That want a piece of pie
I know that much is what's really best.
Taking time to find stability
In your arms I find that capability.

the baby next door and i sob in unison;
he because he has felt such love in his small world
and he wants it with him
all the time;
and i because my world is bigger,
and i know that there is too much world,
and too little love.

The crippling feeling of an emotional blizzard
Hitting all at once
Anger at him for neglection
Somber that I wasn't worth his attention
Frustrated that I wasted longing and desire on him
Timid that he ccould blatantly disregard me so easily
Defeated that I anticipated for something to happen