You gave me these feet to walk
This mouth to eat
To laugh, smile and talk
These feet I grind into the ground
Round and round in circles I go
Until my energy levels hit a new low
This mouth it smiles
Automatically, despite the turmoil within me.
Luckily for others.
You didn't give it transparency.

You gave me these teeth to chew, to eat
These hands you gave me
To meet and greet, demands
These teeth are rarely used
There's never much opportunity to bite and chew,
And these hands prove use in inflicting another bruise
On my body.

This brain you gave me to function and learn
This voice you gave me to express
Opinions and concern
This brain it is broken, it serves to destroy,
It malfunctions, a dismantled toy.
And this voice it turns on the right tone, until I am alone.

You gave me these legs,
To stand tall and strong.
You gave me these shoulders,
For others to rely on
These legs they are weak
They tremble and fall
And these shoulders offer no comfort at all

You gave me these organs to keep me alive
You gave me this heart to beat, to change lives
These organs I starve
And this heart it slows
As thoughts of self destruction
Circulate and echo

You gave me these eyes
To see the world and cry
You gave me life, to live not die
These eyes are faulty,
They prove me harm,
This life, I sabotage, as the ringing of alarms
Gets louder and louder.

You gave me these fingers to write not fight
You gave me these toes to explore new sights
These fingers they write scripts of pain, and ache after awhile
These toes they march on,
Perhaps it's denial.

You gave me common sense
In an attempt
For me to able to differentiate
Between right and wrong
But this tongue in my mind
Is so very unkind
And this common sense
Forms no self defence
As the walls they crumble down.

You gave me these emotions to think and Feel
You gave me these feelings to work on, to heal
These emotions they malfunction
In a world of self destruction
These feelings they soar
Like hungry lions they roar
Emotional regulation
Was a skill
You forgot to give
And it makes
all these things you gave me to live
Hard.
And again I am scarred.

it is hell
to have loved someone-
to know you love them
right now, still-
so much and for so long,
and to realize
you don't actually feel
them loving you back.

if you turn onto
a one-way street
in the wrong direction,
it is still dangerous,
against the law
even if you didn't see the sign.
and just because i love
and my love is accepted
does not mean
i'm on a two-way street.

now i'm crushed.
between metal and metal
i'm crushed. in flashes,
when you speak, i see
myself chewed between your teeth.

so when you light up when you smile
when i say in some way that
i love you, you are also
the oncoming headlights,
appearing suddenly,
coming at me on the highway.

The skin will wrinkle
The bones will become brittle
Age will take over one day
Consuming the human formation
Voice will tremble
And diminish the ability to speak
With weak eyes, vision will be blurry
Losing the near and dear ones
Left alone without any company
There comes a moment of epiphany
That only love is eternal in this universe
We will all perish someday or the other
But the heart wrapped in love is infinite
There are not boundaries and demarcations
No restrictions to love

Your worth cannot be measured
by the circumference of your waist
or the width of your delicate hips

And though his lips will plant onto yours
and others may call you revolting
it shall never measure your worth

And when it comes to valentines day
and the only roses you received
were the ones your mother sent you
It cannot measure your worth

Because your worth cannot be measured
you shall repeat it again
your worth will not be measured
by numerals,words, or objects
not ever
your worth cannot be measured
but you are enough, unbelievably enough

Maybe all this time,
all these feelings I thought I had
weren't what they seemed to be.

Maybe I went numb
because you weren't
a warm bath,
you were ice water.

Maybe I buried that part of myself
so long ago
that even I don't remember
where it is.

Maybe I need
to find it.

Maybe I already have.