Right now I am living. I am doing what I love.
I know people that make me feel things. Hatred. Love. Anxiety. Calmness.
With every moment that occurs I know I am alive. I am.
My heart is beating.
I can think.
I can breathe.
I can live.
I do.

The difference is dying.
Right now I am dying. Still, I am doing what I love.
I am spending time with the people who make me feel. Love. Hatred. Calmness. Anxiety.
With every minute that passes I know it cannot be repeated. Because I am dying.
My heart is beating.
I can think.
I can breathe.
I can live.
For now.

But I will die.
The world is not made of my time.
Life is made of lots of smaller times, all different sizes.
My time is uncertain, as uncertain as yours.
I cannot change this. You cannot change this.
Only time will ever know.

Has it occurred to you,
The lie in belief and believe?
The way language is formed is beautiful,
Shows straight through to you.
I believed all you had to say to me.
I believed your lie.
The one I trusted,
Weakening us. The us in trust vanished.
Like my feelings for you.
Oh, how I fell for your deceit.
Your flaws joining me on the floor, walking all over me.
And it all comes back to my belief that you could change.
You didn't.
You wouldn't.
Because you lie.

This one's different.
I don't have a plan.
I suppose you could say this is like my feelings, real life.
You can't plan everything, even if you try.
You constantly learn, in many ways.
Through your mistakes.
Through helping and teaching others.
Through being you and living life.
I'm not saying you have to love it, or live it well.
Who judges whether you're living life 'well'?
Surely if you're living you're doing something right?
I wish I had the answers.
It would be nice to know what to do.
But right now I don't.
A lack of inspiration? Possibly.
A lack if you? Probably.
Life isn't simple, though we try.
With our charts and graphs and proof of goodness, well I think that's where we're wrong.
Why do we need to prove the goodness? Why not the bad, the unfortunate?

This may be a ramble, and sure, I'm not perfect.
I am living.
I am human.
I am me.
And that matters.

I see the moon is reflecting on the sun's work.
It's not glowing like it usually is.
The clouds shadow any shimmer that was.
Tomorrow is almost today.
Another dalliance from you, another heartbreak.
Maybe you'll stop one day.
Maybe you won't.

The temperature rises with the sun.
It leaves a sticky sweat in the air, uncomfortable.
An undeniable blinding at first glance.
Tomorrow is today.
Things haven't changed, except the people.
Circumstances remain, as isolated as could ever be.
You just don't have the effort to care anymore. For anyone. Not even yourself.

So tell me once again,
Why is it that we love,
Yet refuse to receive
The love that we deserve?

From our inner feelings
To our outer beings
A love should not have to
Search deep for revealing.

If in doubt about why
You are deserving of
Friends appreciation
Just look inside your heart.

You are special
You deserve
All the love
That you get.

I build up my guards to keep me safe,
Keeping secrets and love hidden away.
Waiting for the bricks to be demolished but knowing you're not far away.
My walls may be ten feet tall but your whirlwind love can break me right down.
Down to the simplest and purest of grains.
You can get under my skin, right to the core,
With the slightest touch I crumble,
With a single breath I am broken.
But once your tornado fades to a still breeze,
My walls will build up stronger and quicker than ever.
Leaving remnants of shattered stones in my heart forever.

As the waves rattle
Into tomorrow's likeness
I know we'll be fine

You were always there for me, giving me the chance to shine.
It was a personal thing, we'd always win.
But you're not here anymore, and I don't know where we're at.
My heart beats for you now.
You alone can make me want and need at once.

Each day I live for you.
Every night I love you more.
With each sunrise I still miss you.
But every sunset, I adore.

I don't want to sing, if you're not singing with me.
I don't want to dance if you're not dancing back.
I don't want to move, if you're not moving too.
I don't want to die, because I know you won't be with me.

Even if you'll be waiting, I don't want to know the truth.
But I can never be too certain, after you left this earth so still.
How I can, how I will,
Live in my world without you.
But I love you more and more.

Every moment I think.
Every tear I cry.
Every inch I move.
Every day I live.
Every hope that died.
I hope you know I did it for you.
I hope you know I do it for you.

Who knew that people
Would find love at any point
Randomly through life.

Sometimes words don't fall where you want.
Sometimes words aren't there when you want.
Sometimes words don't say what you want.

Sometimes, it isn't the right time for words.
Sometimes, it isn't the right place for words.
Sometimes, you don't need to say the words.

Words are good, they can write a poem.
Words are good, they can tell a story.
But words are nothing without a purpose.
Words do nothing but fill. Fill time. Fill space. Fill silence. Fill emptiness.

Things happen that make the words not right.
Small words.
Big words.
They're not always right.
We need emptiness to fill.

I don't write for you.
Sometimes I don't even write
For me, and it hurts.

I don't quite know how
You manage to make me feel
As loved as you do.