I hear a voice
Screaching noise
Is it in or outside my head?
Is it mad?
Is it sad?
Is it my brain
Or my heart that's dead?

Well ill cut it out
Slice it up
Take it out to the back
To the streets
To the thugs
Pass it off as ****.

Can you feel me?
Can you hear me now?

Ill shine my shoes
and get my coat
They'll never know
Ill be on top
Be a rock
Be the star of the show.

Am I experiencing reality yet?

Well this is what
Staying up til 5 am does
Ive got an itch that I cant scratch
Im covered in membrane and dust.

Sharpin my knife
Dont think twice
Ill disect the top layer
Take out the bad
Leave the good
But then there is
Nothing there
At all.

Try to put
It back in
But it doesn't fit
So ill serve it on a hot plate
Let you take it all in.

How's it taste?
Whats it like?
Don't ask the price.
Is it hot?
Does it burn?
Does it stick to your tounge?
You can't afford it anyway.
You cant afford it anyway.

Im split in two,
Like a pair of old shoes,
One is in the dryer,
The other caught fire,
And I dont know what to do.

Well my mom shouts,
" darlin you cant leave this house..
Til you've got both shoes on your feet!"
But even if I found both shoes,
Id still be incomplete.

So just call me dr. Frankenstein,
With this sick twisted need,
To bring the dead back to life.
Where did you go?
Who is this impostor?!
Ive turned everyone I love into monsters.

When life hands me lemons
I take them to the street
Put them in box
With a sign
"Out of sugar so these are free"
They go rather quickly
Everyone taking what they can
and i really dont mind
To lend a helping hand
And ive been doing it for years
With a smile on my face
But ive always wondered
Will there ever be a change of pace?
Cause although i do not mind
Helping those in need
In the back of my mind i always hoped
Someone would bring some sugar for me
But oh, dont get me wrong
Im really not that naive
If i wanted i could charge a buck or two
For these delicious treats
I could take myself to the store
Buy all the sugar i need
But im really not that thirsty
Im just starving
For kindness in humanity

I'll keep it to myself.
Let it tear me apart,
From the inside out.
You know, some people never change.
Sometimes, its better off that way.

And as the maggots come to be,
They rest in the best parts of me.
So go ahead,
Shut lock that door,
Those places aren't special no more.

Soon enough there won't be a single piece,
Left of who I use to be,
But maybe its better off this way,
Maybe ill start over someday.

Oh no, im not scared to die,
I just dont think I can look,
Into your pale blue eyes.
It might be a silly fear,
But a promise is a promise my dear.

So ill keep it to myself.
There's no point in letting it out.
Its fading and decaying anyway,
I already can't recall yesterday.

Dont want you to see what I have become,
I wash my guilt away with long walks and ***.
Oh no, it dont help that much.
But nothing does after you've lost touch.

So I'll keep it to myself.

I feel like i spend all my time
trying to paint burning houses
always throwing myself into
these hopeless causes
Driving myself up crumbling walls
and wasting all my paint

Now my world only spins
in shades of monochromatic
my colorless eyes
looking oh so dramatic
what i wouldnt give for a
heart attack or severe fever
just so i could feel something

Ive got a reckless tounge
and a destination addiction
speaking words i wish i felt
in all these different positions
just waiting for the flash flood
to carry me somewhere new

But everywhere i go
its just the same old ****
the sun stares me down, i run
happiness is not worth it
so ill lock myself inside
this half a home
untill my sane abandons me
then
       maybe
                    I
                     Can
                            Sleep.

Turn on sweet summer delusion
Inside faulty memorized fantasies
I never knew you
Subconsciously tune into me.

Ive only got a pretty face
When its image reflects in your eyes
Drop out of this world around you
Shut me up when i start to cry.

Strangers say have a nice day
I want to ask about their dreams
Twisted auto pilot existence
Following a path of mundane routines.

Oh break me free from somber shackles
Let me run wild through your mind
To no longer be a figment of reality
No longer controlled by time.

I yearn to be a thought
Nothing more than a dream
A soul not bound by body
Like leaves flowing downstream.

But id let your current catch me
Trapped within you all summer long
But the winter freeze will break me
As i question your rights and my wrongs.

And one day you will whisper to me
"Baby girl,  i wish you could swim"
Ill brush off the phrase quite quickly
But in secret places ill grow grim.

For there will always be a constant truth
That lies dormant in the back of my mind
That the rose colored glasses you see me through now
Our only available for a limited time.

Im drunk
And ******
And speedin
And cleanin
And im seein
All of your feelings,
Out of the corner
Of my eye.

Where's the dope?
Cause I cant cope
With all our inside jokes
Displayed for the world to see,
Your heart is to much for me.

So get to your point
Before I light up this joint
Cause once the buzzins in my brain
I cant deal with the pain,
That you're trying to project on me,
Why cant you let yourself be happy?
Creatin these problems in your head
Then you're carrying them to bed.

Our sheets are drenched in your nightmares,
Your demons attack me in the night,
And with your burdens on my back,
Im too weak to fight.

So im reachin for the bottle just to give my brain a break,
Packin up a bowl,
Cause its more than I can take.
So I pop just one more pill,
Smooth the edges and just chill,
But I cant, not just yet
Cause this house is such a wreck.

So now im drunk
And ******
And speedin
And cleanin
And im seein
You dissapear
Right before
My eyes.

You say its all
"Mind over matter"
But I've misplaced my brain,
Its no matter anyway,
For ive got flowers in my veins!

Most are in bloom and gorgeous,
But those roses are such liars,
Im scratched up on the inside,
Pullin thorns out with pliers.

And although it looks quite messy,
I cant feel a thing,
For how can I percieve this pain,
When I still cant find my brain?!

Did I stick it in the toaster?
Did I drop it on the floor?
Maybe The cheshire cat stole it.
Just messin with my head,
Im sure.

But no, I do not mind,
Cause nothing really matters.
Im lost but im not late,
Drinkin tea with the mad hatter.

I want to paint you a pitcure
With blues and yellows and reds
An image for your soul to take in
My perception ingrained in your head.

That split second before your lips touch mine
I want to transform our feelings into colors
And splatter them all over your fears
Of how I could ever love another.

But love comes in many forms
Different ways and different shades
And although he sleeps next to me
I still lie awake.

And during the time I lay there
Trying to rest my tired mind
That place between reality and dreams
Thats where I find you everytime.

And if i could just use our colors
To cover up the truth
Harness our left over innocence
Preserve the happiness of our youth

Then maybe we could just sit here
Your hand in mine
The picture of perfection
A work of art that knows no time.

Its hard to sit here
And not believe everything that I think
But my mind cant be trusted
When your words are like led paint
That you inject into my spirit everytime we talk
And I know its raining outside
But I really think we should walk
And will you hold my hand
When im electrocuted?
My mouth is a radio
My mind is a television
Ive never been original
Only regergatared
Ive never been original
This heart will always be contaminated
He asked me "when you go to sleep
Do you dream of electric sheep"
If anyone lacks empathy
Its you not me
Your insides are numb, ive always carried your pain
Now im looking for the remedy
To melt my static brain
But everyone has there ways
Of turning the world around
And im just trying to keep up
Before I crash into the ground

When I look at you I feel the same
As when a natural disaster is heading my way.
You say im something that can be contained,
But realize that would ultimately destroy me.

You are a hurricane, hurdling foward
Sending a chill through my spine
And everyone is running and taking cover
But I have no desire to hide.

You are beautiful like demolilition,
Breaking down all my walls
Just the taste of you infects me with madness
Together we could conquer all.

When we touch time stops completely
The universe zooms in on the two of us
Throwing us through every obstacle conceivable
The world senses that we are dangerous.

I want to be the light in your darkness
And you can be the dark in my light
Because honey i am the queen of the masochists
Addicted to the pain and the night.

We are immaculate creations.
We are pure inspiration.
We make adam and eve jealous.
We make fairytales cringe.

Everything we do is secret.
Anything we do is magic.

What is life but a test of love
A test that im sure to fail
For every decision I have to make
Leaves someone alone and pale
Pale like your skin the hospital room
Where i selfishly choose to stay
To weak to take the leap and be with you
But not strong enough to get away
And now you circle the great big unknown
And on the inside im still by the stretcher
Replaying our promises over in my head
Of how we would always be together.
And I chase these blue pills with a sip of guilt
And walk around our memories alone.
Grasping tight to the thought of you
Hoping to bring you back home.