I am a Queen

who looked to a Prince
for the respect of a King

Never again

shall I take this crown off
to appease a man

who wont stand beside me
while I wear it

Are you okay?
Are you alright, are you fine, are you good?
Are you adequate, are you decent?
Are you emotionally stable, sleeping without crying, smiling because you want to?
Are you breathing without questioning, are you waking up without trying, are you eating without throwing up?
Are you reading this poem right now and thinking no?
Are you thinking for the first time, will I ever be okay?

You will be okay.
You will be alright, you will be fine, you will be good.
You will be adequate, you will be decent.
You will be emotionally stable, you will sleep without crying, and smile for the happiness blooming inside of you.
You will breathe without questioning, you will wake up to a new day, you will eat easily
You
are going to be okay.
So please smile sunshine
It’s a fine new day
To be okay :)

- a.g.

A word is simply letters
And letters simply lines
To help convey the many thoughts,
Which tangle in our minds.

And yet somehow we struggle,
To find what's right to say.
With all the words we've seen or heard,
Our thoughts still slip away.

We use our words as paintings.
We use our words as masks,
To hide from those who see too much.
We hide from what they ask.

When thoughts don't flow with words,
They tumble from our eyes.
We wipe them in frustration,
For revealing our disguise.

To some our words are power.
To others, they are shame.
To me they are a paintbrush,
No painting is the same.

To you they may be weapons,
Or as gentle as the dawn,
But no matter what you think of them,
The words will carry on.

Now I take the long way home most nights
a few extra minutes for back roads and quiet
the first turn faces me directly away from home
and in the darkness I cruise straight down a beautiful road to nowhere
off
and
away
and I am a free, flying runaway
for only a minute
before dutifully turning left.
at that intersection
my eyes always linger straight ahead, on my road to nowhere and anywhere
I could stay on this path and not look back
leaving everything
to be alone

But already I have involuntarily pulled into the turn lane.
My blinker is on, and so there is no way out of it.
I will go back home like I should.  
What
was I thinking?
My home is nice.  My life is good.  
There
is nothing
to run away from.
but maybe...
is there something is worth running to?

There's a reason why I'm doing this
Somewhere, somehow
I set off with a passion and a purpose
That seems so long ago.
I decided it was worth it, not to wither into a selfish nothing
To surge on, keep on grappling
but I've almost had enough
and I'm
just
so
tired
.
When will I find the spark again?
I have some faith that
an ember of the passion I lost
still exists
somewhere between my lungs and beneath my ribs
Can my faith be ever enough?
May I find out.