When I am alone in bed, I can spread out as big as I want
I can wrap myself into a cocoon blanket
I can pull the covers over my messy bed hair
And look as ugly as I want when I wake up in the morning

I don’t have to worry about body heat
Touching me, coursing in through my skin
And making me a sweaty mess
I don't have to make sure not to hog the down comforter
I can toss and turn as much as I want

I can rebuild you with my pillows, work them into the shape of a man
I can wrap my legs around them and hold them all night
Because they’re cozy and welcoming
And I don’t have to place my head in anybody’s nook
And I don’t have to wrap my legs around a warm body

I can watch TV until 2 o’clock in the morning
And wake up with heavy purple eyes
I can put my blankets in between my legs when I lay on my side
Because I hate to sleep with my thighs touching
And no one will be there to tell me that’s weird

I can sleep on my stomach with my hands under the pillows
Or I can sleep on my back because I have no one there to hold
I can snore, if I want to, I can even drool if I see fit
I can open the window if I want and listen to the sounds of the street
The creaky sign, and the drunk 20-somethings, getting hammered on a Tuesday
And I can wonder, all alone, what they got up to that night
And why they're all having so much more fun than me

But I think I’d rather be sweaty and confined
I think I’d rather share my blanket cocoon and lay my head in your arm pit nook
I want to kick my pillows on the floor and make room
To wrap my legs around my human and pull my blankets over us both
And wake up looking ugly together – with bed hair and tired eyes
Even if I snore, I’d like you to hear, even if I drool

The first apartment I ever called my own
Complete with kitchen, bathroom and twin bed
No mom, no dad
But a living room with a rickety couch
And ugly blue carpets, with cigarette burns
Even though smoking wasn't allowed

They bulldozed it to the ground
It's a big parking lot now
Full of those tiny rocks
The annoying ones that get stuck in your shoes
They bulldozed my first apartment
And a few of my other firsts

Like the first time I thought I was in love
And I waited nervously
In front of the heavy, wooden door
And he came in with a mission
Because drinking and ripping bongs
Melted away any nerves he may have had

I wondered if I'd shudder when the moment finally came
If I'd get red in the face - hot from the pressure
Would my arms turn splotchy?
Would my chest turn red?
Turning me into some diseased-looking freak
As opposed to the pretty, young thing
I'd wanted him to make love to
If only I knew,
That he wouldn't notice any of that

He didn't ask me if I was sure
Like guys do in the movies
And he told me what I wanted to hear
And bent me in ways someone with no experience
Should not be bent
And the TV was on in my very first living room
The whole time - the History Channel
I listened to the low hum
You could hear it through the walls
Despite what was supposed to be
A lifelong, loving memory,
I learned about World War II

My twin bed had pink sheets with white stripes
And a pink comforter too
And the next week he forgot my 19th birthday
And I don't know what I expected
But it was OK - I said it was OK
Because I had my own apartment
And my own kitchen
That I can't ever recall cooking in
And I had my pink sheets
That didn't feel so innocent anymore

Table, chairs, fridge and freezer
I had all of that.
Frozen dinners and plastic handles of *****
Not all memories are worth remembering
Sometimes, they just get bulldozed

"MISTAKE
There's  nothing  wrong  in  making  a  mistake.
As  lon­g  as  you  don't  follow  it  up  with  encores.

Keith  Wilson.­  Windermere.  UK  2016.;"**
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1559961/mistake


Except - this has been published, already. In 2005 - not 2016. And not by Keith Wilson. See for yourself:

How to Develop a Positive Life
By Bob Mangroo, 2005

Links provided in group: http://hellopoetry.com/collection/19619/plagiarist-problems/

When you wake a Sunday morning
Don't want to get out of bed
You sleep a few more hours
Just to postpone the dread.
You hear the carnival in the distance
But ignore what you had said
For you can't look in the mirror
Without shaking your head.

That Old Drug Checklist? Completed. No Shame. So get over it.

(It's rather colloquial, however, revealings as well. This is what I said to a boy from driver's ed who wanted to be my boyfriend... So I tried to scare him off. Hahaha. **Rationale a la 15-year-old):

Maple: It's not exactly something I talk about, ever, because it just demonstrates my insanity. But, I want to try everything. Every substance, every drug.

Justin: Um, why?

Maple: Why not?

Justin: Well, cause it’s bad.

Maple: If you believe in good or bad, right or wrong. I don't know what I believe except that we're all robots of each other and nothing matters anyways.

Justin: Hmm, that’s a different way of thinking about it. I think that curiosity isn't bad, just be careful. . .

Maple: I don't know if I am, but, meh. Is there really any good reason to do anything?

Justin: Umm, no, not really. It’s what you feel, not what others feel. Well. . . just be careful.

Maple: Safety is a conspiracy.

Justin: Why do you say that?

Maple: Think about it. You can insure everything you own, walk on the right side of the road and follow strong Christian morals that give the illusion of safety, as if you’ll go to heaven if you’re good and hell if you’re bad. But, with one fire, one plane crash. . . well it's all gone. The entirety of you. And who even knows if there is that insured heaven anyways?

Justin: Hmm, you know I think that the way you think is very interesting and mostly true, I mean, nothing is ever completely safe. You can't always be careful, but I also think that you should use this and try to live life to its fullest.

Maple: Thank you. But what is living life to it's fullest? Everyone always says that, but what does it mean?

Justin: Well, like you, I know that what you’re doing is unhealthy, but your not afraid to try different things. You experience more then anyone else, cause most people play it safe in their comfort zone.

Maple: Exactly! Always judging but never trying. Society has made these things into taboos, but are they really? I know that getting addicted is a terrible idea, but everything in moderation. Why always sit on the sidelines making assumptions behind whispered hands and backs? Why not jump into the game?

Justin: Yep, that’s right. You can't sit there say that’s bad or you should do this if you haven't done it yourself. Because if you haven't, you don't know what it’s like and you’re being hypocritical.

. . .

Maple: Um. . . Says the boy who just told me not to do drugs “cause it’s bad.”