Bella: Favorites

Nov 2017 Bella

Marisa Lu Makil

I've always thought
Of someone saying
"I miss you"
As
"You are missing
From my life"
And I think that's
Pretty
****
Beautiful

Nov 2017 Bella

Loving Again

Nov 2017 Bella

Lydia

Loving Again

I was always afraid of leaving
thinking that I would lose the parts of me willing to love again,

as if I had forgotten my heart was mine, still beating in my chest

to afraid of what I would become if I was alone or without you

like I thought that my brilliance was only because of you or something
and that it wasn't actually more of a reflection of myself back to me

I had forgotten I am my own
I am enough

to love again is inevitable
because I myself, am irrevocably going to be loved

#love #feelings #heart #truth #my #life #myself #self

Nov 2017 Bella

to be a person

Nov 2017 Bella

Lydia

to be a person

how is it possible to be a person on the days that leave you feeling empty?

why doesn't that count as a good reason for a sick day at work
or a reason to take a break from life
responsibilities
until your soul feels better
or at least a little normal again

how can I be expected to be a mother, a friend, a coworker, anything
when my insides are bending and breaking and my brain is unable to connect the dots

when my hands won't work
and my legs don't feel strong enough to hold my weight
and my mouth forgot how to speak

how can I be a person
when I've forgotten that I'm even alive?

#person #alive #feelings #thoughts #days #hard #sad #mental #day #off

Nov 2017 Bella

bleeding ink

Nov 2017 Bella

KateKarl

bleeding ink

is there any such thing
as too much ink
too many pens
more paper
than the human heart can fill?

the heart does nothing
but pump the blood that is necessary
to fill my fingers
to move
to scrawl too much ink
with too many pens
on more paper
than such a treacherous ***** deserves.

but the heart will get its ink
if it has to bleed dry in order to fill
the pens that it thinks it should have
to defile more paper
than any forest should have to give.

the heart will have what it wants
forests
nibs
and veins
be ******

Any critique is welcome, however harsh.

#forest #paper #pen #ink #blood #bleeding #heart #treachery #deserving

Nov 2017 Bella

The Night

Nov 2017 Bella

She Writes

The Night

Some fear the night;
Scared of monsters in the dark.
I prefer the darkness;
The only demons I fear
Are the ones inside me.

#night #darkness #demons #scared

Nov 2017 Bella

This Isn't Me

Nov 2017 Bella

Gillian Askeland

This Isn't Me

I put on my makeup and I’ll put on my clothes.

I’ll paint on my smile and dress to expose.

I’ll laugh to keep the tears down and drown in my own soul.

I’ll twirl my hair and act like my life is amazing.

I’ll be extra nice to those who need it.

I’ll get called names but I’ll push them aside.

I’ll go home and wipe off my smile and cry in the shower.

I’ll take the razor to my thigh and watch the blood mix into the water.

I’ll finally be me and not the girl everyone sees.

-Gillian Askeland

Nov 2017 Bella

Broken

Nov 2017 Bella

Chase Alexander

Broken

Im the type of boy
who can be do **** down.
You all see this smile,
But I just see a frown.
If you look right at me,
Look into my eyes.
Do you see depression
and all my sacrifice?

Cuz I am broken and I'm dead inside.
Can you make me happy?
Can you make me feel alive?
Cuz I am broken and I'm dead inside.
I always try to hide it.
Tell me can you find it?

I wanna go.
I want to just break down.
Turn off the lights
and watch me cry.
All you see is me
fighting to believe.
I try to make it look like
I'm as happy as can be.

Tears run down my face
and you come to me.
Try to stop the tears.
All you want is to make me feel happy.
And the feeling of you here with me
makes me happy for a moment,
but I'm back once you leave.

Cuz I am broken and I'm dead inside.
Can you make me happy?
Can you make me feel alive?
Cuz I am broken and I'm dead inside.
I always try to hide it.
Tell me can you find it?

I feel like it's ending.
I'm in so much pain.
Every night I lie awake
screaming out your name.
Will you come and find Me?
Make me feel alright.
Come to me and hold me.
Hold me oh so tight.

Cuz I am broken and I'm dead inside.
Can you make me happy?
Can you make me feel alive?
Cuz I am broken and I'm dead inside.
I always try to hide it.
Tell me can you find it?

#depression #misery #crying #lonely #broken #life #death #pain #breakdown #feeling