long nights with my dreams alone
I got that voice in my head saying its alright
Why do i treat everybody with love when i get none bacK
Thats dumb i need to stop
Prop my own back up because im tough
Life is rough and i crave a touch
But theres no.such thing

Im drowning in my own tears
One of.my fears is coming true
Im alone im alone
I wish death was.closer
Im wasting my breathe
I feel Defeat i cant sleep
This **** is deep stressed and depressed thats my life
Loneliness just make that my wife

I'm depressed and stressed
I've been through a lot
I've been through hell
it feels very hot
I'm not okay I'm not fine
I don't want to live  another day
I I I I'm so ******* self centered
hope I sleep and never wake up

let me give you a kiss
I can't  miss a day with you
us two equals something  true

let me give you a kiss
hey miss your beauty  is outstanding
I want  to love  you please no misunderstanding

What im trying to have is something special girl
Lets make an empire own the world
Im inspired by that fire in your eyes
You got potential and you're my essential to live
You don't worry about What i got to give
I got plenty of warm hugs and kisses
But my plan is for you & i to be together happy

Shout out to the girl running through my mind all day
The first letter in her name is A
Beautiful like these winter nights
Let me ask can i treat you right
Spend all tonight together no matter the weather
Call me and im there but only for you because i care
You're special to me youre all i see
Let me let me know if there can be a we ?
Us with a ton of trust

The next 4 hours of my life are the most tiring
It's inspiring me to get a better job
I enjoy my days off with a little corn on the cob
People say it's easy but they don't even know
I'm wondering why time goes so slooowwww

Listen here ive been ivan c for 16 years
I have a few fears like dying and going to hell
So listen to what i tell you the devil is in the air
While you live life without a care
I'm here with family & friends
When the end comes im ready
Im just living life steady
Take apart my heart and ive won from the start

Alone alone alone
In my own ******* head
I swear im dying i swear im almost ******* dead
What i say or what i said
I want to play i want to live everyday
But we all have seperate paths
I just need somebody someone
To let me know that when i write im winning the fight .. i can see the light

Stayed inside my room all thrown sick
Hoping someone would savee from my doom quick
I'm still here nobody is coming
I'm going to die here or i got to keep running

It's sad when you give everything away for people to smile
While you're dying people are spying thinking you're crazy
Baby when i die dont bury me I'm going to die in the west
I thinks it's only best that i dissapear
People fear What they don't understand and.thats me

I get so mad i start bleeding out my nose
This is the life that i chose
I oppose a threat to these demons
The past is the past
Let me be the last to say i should have changed
They say im deranged and strange
Living life with these thoughts am i alone ?
I want to go home but i don't have one

You're the only person i talk to
Youre funny , that smile is wild
I like your style
I just can't Stop talking to you
It's true I got a thing for you
Whatever you do I hope it's. For the best
I mean I really hope it's for the best
Be about your word girl be kind
You're already fine but there's a line between good and bad
I'll be sad someday because. I have doubts
But I'll shout I need you
Till you see
You
And I
Can be free

All this arguing choosing sides ?
Reasons a child would do suicide
There are answers but your ignorance is cancer
Take action , but no there's no reaction in your thick skull
The reason of your argument is bold in your mind
The real reason to me is dull
You shout I'm tired of his bull
you'll leave today is what you say
But you say that every other day
Im stuck in the middle the fault of the trouble
I love you mom and dad stop

Alone with my body made out of stones
I made an escape with my bones
Bathed in blood talk is cheap
Nails through my skull i can hardly sleep
Angry with my self life is bad for my health

Sorry to interrupt
Let me'be the first to say life is corrupt
I fall back into bad habits i tried to be happy
But everyone was mad 'killed my mood
Dude i wake up in the night not wanting to live !
I've said before i got so much to give
Noone listens noone cares
I just stare into the black abyss where my heart was

It's getting harder to live
I got so much to give
To the girl of my dreams
But that's the girl of my dreams
It seems I'm on the edge of a drop
I just wish that i can Just stop
I'm close to having one of my blood vessels pop
Over thinking and thinking
My obsession will never lead to smoking or drinking
So I'm going to stay alone

painting creations to isolate me from the world
im curious about this girl shes blue red green
every color in between vivid and bright
i think about her at night her eyes are dark
different shades of brown her heart must be gold
her favorite color is pink like when she blushes
oh when i see her my heart rushes

As i grow older my heart does not get colder or weaker
I make sure i have time to just think
My mind is not filled with ***** dishes like a sink but it's not clean
I mean i make mistakes but i do not fake what i feel
When im beside the girl i like it feels like my heart heals
From the pain and loneliness left from past flames
I dont like playing games or mental gymnastics
So when im with you i do not doubt you i run diagnostics

Went from painting walls and anything
To me wanting to change the world
I have open mind so i dont judge crime
Went from always being alone now im trying to find the right one
Went from trying to write poems now i wanr that microphone

Its 12:05 and I'm not really feeling alive
I dive into situations understanding possible outcomes
But how come i can't have the things i want the way i want
Or maybe i can't have the things that downgrade me
I cant forget ive been saved
Lately you all have been forgetting about me

It happens all the time i cant be mad or sad
Im looking for something as bright as your smile girl !
The way you light up rooms , you left me right in a tomb
It happens all the time i cant be sad or mad
My interest doesn't die i never ever lie
I look up in the sky and realize you're too good for me
To good for an "us" another one bites the dust

you are not mine you're the world's
stars intertwined on a fine line
brake your pieces apart tell me where to find your heart
beautiful colors and vivid emotions in one big ***
you tell me give you what i got
all i have is a heart filled with blood and veins
It drives me insane i can't see what you are thinking
Blinking elegantly evidently im into you

Do any of you know me ?
Im happy with a smile
When i go home i get sad
Im programmed to think i need money to live
I have something to give but nobody wants it
I speak nonsense
I sit behind a screen thinking about a better life
Knowing with no action nothing will be right
Its one in the morning when i wrote this
Just want you to know im not hopeless

Im stuck in my head between yin and yang
The puzzle is difficult and i cant find a muzzle that fits
I have a lot to on my to do list i dont regret what I've done
I learn and learn i continue letting my flame burn
I dont want to just talk game i want to talk life
I was thinking about you and you could be my wife
I could hold your hand while our feet are in the sand
Wipe the frown off your face when you're feeling down
I like that thought of me with you
I see a very clear different hue you might too
I want to get real close take a toast
To all I've ever done to put me in your path
I don't want your wrath but I'm willing to take it
With a few mistakes and blue prints
Set a map for the road ahead until we are both dead time we'll see you and i
Looking in your eyes i witness a beautiful sea purple red pink
Im wondering what you think

Im not trying to be the same as him or her
Im just a tiny raimdrop in a million others
Oh brother the earth is alot
So why is it i cannot become something bigger
Maybe its not what i want
Sure i want happiness and luaghter
But i wouldn't want that all to my self
I want good health and wealth
But not all to myself i want you and you and you
To be happy with me , a big family
With our ups and downs keep everything is cool
And like a school we'll learn we can let thaat fire burn
Take turns to teach love and peace
Keep the light shining in the dark
Take part in something big just make a step
And love everybody

I had a dream they were going to steal from me
The people i talk to listen to hear
I had fear i was hiding out
Had a bunch of people shouting out telling me to leave
I didnt have sleeves i was in my work clothes that i chose
I felt i wanted to quit becuase i opose a threat
Three stories tall i was in the second floor they kept asking more from me
Walked up sat on the stairs without a care
Someone called my name but it was the same as another kids

Ive been depressed in a miserable state
Im trying to choose my own fate with weight on my back
Stack stack stack till i crack break my back
Get plenty of looks an  yes im shook
Lifes getting hard im to real not a big deal
Im expressing how i feel hoping that my cuts heal
Living life long filled with love ive been insanely obsessed with my dreams
What is god trying to tell me time temperature ties
Where does my Destiny lye
Im praying facing my head to the sky when i die
Where will i go

I dont know the girl i talk about when i write
I just hope she comes when the time is right
Its not that im lonely my feelings are not fake
I just want that person to hug and have on my team
Dont make a mistake and think I'm a fool
The gleam of the light is blinding i swear im seeing her in my dream

Beware of smiling faces that are good with you now
Later you here pow take the knife out your back
Bad stuff happens things change you dont know how to act
Extract my thoughts about you
Now.there all not true i see how you are

Stare into my eyes and see the hell i hide behind
Some people say i changed and its harder to relate to me
Good our relationship was make believe
I want life to change but i dont know if it can for a machine ,man whatever the **** i am

Its funny how i can hardly speak whats on my mind
But my mind won't change
Im feeling fine , yeah im feeling fine
I wish i can call you mine my women crush everyday
Although i hardly say hey
My heart is like a canvas you left your mark on me
You're the cutest thing ive ever seen
Skip every scene till im with you
You're as intoxicating as the smell of my paint

I keep moving along I hope im not living wrong
Im hoping god is forgiving when im grinning at my mess
Like a game of chess im thinking about my moves
Not saying they're right i might not get sleep at night becuase of some things
The things i want to say
Im inside myself loving but the world is not meant to be shared alone
I loved drawing ice cream cones becuase life is sweet

Hey can i talk to you ?
My imaginary love
Let me tell you how i feel , wich you care nothing of
I saw 2 or 3 doves fly out of a tree
I said wow that was beautifully free
You were standing next to me being pretty as always
Not paying attention so i didnt bother asking
Im always writing about you and on my phone
Forever multi tasking
So much faces saying hi and passing me by
I cant even lie i like eye to eye conversation
But you're not there you're not here
You're nowhere near my imaginary love

I write about what i really want to see
THats you & me under a tree
Staring at the clouds with crowds of baby blue skies
I want to look in your eyes and see your inner beauty
Tango under the stars
Watch cars pass by while we're on a walk
I want to listen to you talk becuase i care
This is all i think about when i stare at you
Glare me back let me know it isnt going to happen

Im in love with the thought of getting to know you
The thought of expressing conversations that Mean nOthing but so muCh
I just want to be Able too touch you emotionally and physically
Will i ever get a chance
I have doubts becuase we dont even talk
So should i walk AwAy frOM thAt direction
Or will i have your undivided attention
I don't want to have you bound by chains
I dont want to see what i can gain
I just want to know more
Than your pretty little name

I see clearly everything i want i have to go out and get
The only thing that trys to hold me back is regrets
Fake people fake friends
Letting certain people in my life was a mistake
I wish i.could cut the scene take two
Switch up parts of my life like a movie
Im alive so im still groovy ..

Now im thinking who i want to be ?
The lonely loner or the one on the street
We got decisions to make places to be
Forget being fake easy it may be
Look me in my eyes better not be saying lies
My hands are up to the skies and my eyes are shut close
I suppose youll never know the decisions I've chose

Another poem about love, ****
You & i is part of the plan
I hope you understand your the pretty flower i want to pick
But those thorns got me cautious
The thought of me forgetting you is nauseous
Can or can i not ? The whole plot twist gets old
You & i won't we'll be the greatest love story ever told

I prefer to feel every emotion
Sad happy mad and more
Im not sure when death will come knocking on my front door
My heart drops to the floor everytime i think of love
Too the girl i want to hug i feel i always bug
A tug of war with pride and my own life
Am i winning ?
WHy do my thoughts keep spinning

Its not my day today
The girl i liked did not say hey
Got paint on my shoes and fingers
Are there dues i have yet to pay
Bad luck has its stingers
But now i am all alone
Hoping im prone to luck
Oh well it ***** to ****

Am i in love i ask my self
Not having you is bad.for my health
I just want a taste of your lips
Baby let me grab you by your hips
Get real.physical *** you up mentally
Have you in my arms girl no harm
No alarm we aint doing nothing bad
Ask girls about me you know im rad  
A tad bit to good always misunderstood
Got you all up in my mind

Im all alone in this world just me myself and i
Never see me quit until the day i die
Body chemicals floating in the sky
Tell all those people who hate me hi
Im in a better place
Pace my mind
Too much knowledge and power
I can create rain showers with a thought
For your love is what i fought for
I guess im not enough
I have to stay tough because this world is rough
Till i die ill say i have had enough

The gates TO your soul are empty
Your heart is beating but its cold
Don't need you to tempt me
**** i gotta let you go
Everything happens quick
And the world will never know why
My hands are one and im praying towards the sky
Lord i know you see me let me know why
Why i am who i am and what is my purpose
And if everything that has happened is there a purpose to it
I dont get lit i just dont forget
Can you take my memories and all the bad things away ?
Can you love me when i wake up the next day

Why is it that my mind is dreamy and hunky ?
But im feeling like im ugly & chunky
I think im the cutest & most ruthless
But thruth is im nothing
I think im the best and the rest are all lame
But thruth is im in last place in the game
This taste im tasting has me slowing my pace
Im okay with my face but am i seeing something not there
Oh well i dont care if im nothing you like
Im happy with my life and my beautiful mind

Im adding syllables and vowels
Yeah vowels after vowels
My mind gun ringing pow pow !
They ask how and why i am the way i am
I dont understand what you want to know
Life gives lessons with blessings so i just say im blessed
Life is stressing but we're still alive
What i strive for is a better life with and even better world a lil dark boy
That will leave your eyes sore

Can i speak my mind or do i have to pay ?
Can i say what i please or what you want
Memories and regret can huant an indivual
The visual for the future is blurry
Im 16 and i dont want to live life quick in a hurry
Yet people tell me i need to grow up
They say make money live large make sure you remember us
Others say youll be a homeless *** trying to catch the bus
Or youll be making a big batch of drugs
When in reality all i need are hugs because nothing else seems to drive me to success
Am i really blessed to be breathing today ?
Or am i blessed that i have a heart in my chest
Screams in my ear telling me i got to be the best
And when i rest my dreams tell me the same thing with devils

They say diamonds are forever
Whether this is true i dont understand
Im delt with the hand of little or no money
Its funny im a joke im a fool
I go to school everyday study in many ways
For what ? So when im older i can have mula or moola
Whatever you want im living life by rules
Where people with no heart start out rich
And people in touch with their souls dont have ****
Excuse my french but i have a foul stench of poorness
Not only in money but love

You girl are an exotic flower
Your beauty posses mystical power
I want to hold you in my arms and never let go
Let me know youll never change
No matter the range of the weathers
Wether its with me or someone else
I pray you stay in good health
Dont let no one hold you to tight and wound you
Youll make it to see a sunny day and vroom through

Any form of art isolates us from people
See that's crazy and true
Thats why i do this
Im the kid that doesn't hear
I miss you alot
Im that kid with no fear i could die today