He misses me still, but that's old news.
He's missed me for so long now - he can do it in his sleep.

He does it while he eats alone at his desk,
while he runs for a train,
while the rain is coming down in sheets.
While a girl takes off her dress and he reaches for her,
his hands hesitate a decimal. He turns off the light,
and misses me.

It grows inside his chest, like a bonsai tree -
something natural but stunted.
Snipped and pruned carefully, but not allowed
to grow outside it's box. Not allowed to put down roots.

He hauled it off, across the sea.
Across China and the Middle East, he misses me.

Half a world apart, in Amsterdam I walk
with my eyes to the ground, all brown and grey.
Thinking of the planes and trains that bore him
away.
This has become second nature for me.

It's midnight in Tokyo, he sits at his desk
in the light from the street
thinking of trees, canals, red bricks, me
and when we sleep, he and I both,
it's with ghosts in the sheets.

I hate in betweens
Always have
I'd rather know
One way or another
The truth
Suspense is literal torture to my soul

But
For you
Only you
I shall try
To be understanding
To give you that space
To be the better person
To be "mature".

Even though everything
I mean everything that is me
Screams in madness
Fury rippling down my back
Fear settling in my stomach

All of me
If possible
Could shake you silly
Drive home some sense
Hold you tight and refuse
Point blank
To let go.

In hope
A teensy bit of it
That you will come back
To me
Back to these arms that miss your angles
Back to these lips that miss your own
Back to this simple sole body
That feels bone dry
Rattling empty
Without you
To fill her in.

So be done
With these emotions that pull you away
And come back to me
My friend
My love
My life.

Paint my soul in your colors
Design me
Define me
Until we are one
Creation and creator
Imagine my lines and speak my thoughts
Put me onto paper
Understand me accept me
Take my hand
And lead me to the burning sun
Take me into the new world
Write how it
Scarred me
Jade me
Then fold me back
Into the crevasses of your mind
Close and secure
And then close your eyes
An listen as I whisper
Design me
Define me
*I am yours.

beware when you fall in love
with an artist
be it a painter, a singer, or poet

for the artist will
paint you
with strokes and hues
in shapes of every kind

sing about you
with heartbreak lyrics
and feelings which rhyme

write about you
with the simplest words
and a secret message she wants to say

beware of the artist,
and her love
one wrong move
and you're an artwork in her display

two fragile hearts made up of glass
everyone could see right through them both
only they themselves couldn't see the reality

both fell for each other
and whatever falls
will end up breaking

now those two once-glass hearts
shattered into a million emotional pieces

now those two once-glass hearts
will never find their missing parts

now those two once-glass hearts
have turned into nothing
but back into crushed sand

sometimes you're like homework
so confusing
and i just stare at you
absent-mindedly
hating you
yet you're important to me
it's so hard to finish you
and i lose inspiration every now and then
but when i get high as my grades
i come running back to you

i can't wait to graduate from school
get rid of this infatuation
we would be adults by then
and hopefully this mess will be sorted out