we are fire
i am the orange ember, the coldest part of the flame
you are the white hot tip of at the head of the match head
it sometimes flickers blue

you are blue
i hate blue, i always have
i am red
making purple sounds like a delightful endeavour
but i am reminded of the love bite (why are they called that)
that you left
it was purple, it hurt for weeks
it turned green

i hate you.
i hate blue.
i hate the white flame.

Now it’s nearly midnight
the day is almost done
we had our share of happiness
we had our share of fun
Some days were so dark
we couldn’t walk or run
Felt like we were living in
the land of the midnight sun


The early days are over
merely memories
that can’t be traced anyways
to things that can be seen
Those people that I thought I saw
when my eyes were young
those songs that now come to mind
were they ever sung

Those memories of dreams
that haunt my autumn mind
if I tried to look for them
they’d be hard to find

My diary is somewhere here
I never threw it out
If I really wanted to
I’d find it no doubt
I guess I just don’t have the wish
There isn’t much to say
Nothing new has happened here
for a few days

Those memories of dreams
that haunt my autumn mind
if I tried to look for them
they’d be hard to find

he once said to me...

                 “I would blow warm
                         moist breath through
                                          your toes...
                           I would do all the
                  wonderful things
                to your big toes
                  that you do to me.
                      And most certainly
                         all the tension would  
                             drain onto me...
                               I would draw
                                every last drop
                               from your toes
                          with little messages
                         along the way of my
                      charted course
                         to come up
                      your inner channels.
        Resting in the sensitive eddies  
      behind your knees
  we both breathe fire
    wafting up and down
                         your thighs.”

.... like drips of seduction off his tongue.

And he lingered on, saying...

                   “Flaming lips wafting
             together with desire,
       reaching and pulling
          with firey licks.
       As I slide
   my wet tongue
    on up and hover,
           breathing
                     you in
                           deeply...
                           through my nostrils
                         filling my *** senses.
                       Drunk on your fumes,
                I'm consumed.
           Circling the tip
       of my nose
   around
your hard,
   pearly knot
       feeling the heat
             from your butterfly wings
            my parted lips surounding
          and easing the warmth
     of my soul onto you
with wet hot breath.
   And I ease the length
          of my tongue to rest
      completely over
    your fire breathing wings ,
               warm capable and ready..
                   leaving you in suspense.
                      Sliding ever so slightly
                           and slowly up your      
                              slick silky lips,
                     tightening the tip
                   of my tongue -
                      flick flick
                             flick flick...
             And I look deeply
           into your eyes,
                  into depths
                    you've never known.
                       And then I'll take you
                        all in, with a suction
                           you'll never escape
                             or ever want to.
      Never breaking eye contact
my tongue slides from bottom
        and presses, emphasis
         at the top slowly
        over and over
            settling you in.
                We fall into
                   a oneness
                        and find  
                        our groove.”

And I said...

“I wish I wasn't
still irritated with you
so I could fully
enjoy your seduction.”

thank you for forcing me to look inside myself.
thank you for forcing me to face my fears.
thank you for forcing me to fight my demons.
thank you for seeing my pain.
thank you even though you are the one
thing i lost
through it all.

I wanted
someone
that wouldn't
be afraid

of me.

I spent
twenty-one
years
doubting
that person
could ever
exist.

For humans
are far too shallow
and our
complications
are

way too deep

but I honestly believe
we should not have to
be alone.

I believe in independence.
I believe in self-reliance
and I believe in self-respect.

But I also believe that
humans can connect
on a far deeper level
than just what we see.

I believe there is a time
and place
for everything
and that includes
the moments

we fall in love.

You see,
there will be days
that you fill
empty
and lonely
but you have
to be there for yourself.

No one is going to give you
a handout
unless you show them
you are going to
make it count.

No one is going to
rely on someone
that cannot
rely on them self.

Co dependence can be
beautiful
but nevertheless-
it is filled with
even more grief.

You cannot fix somebody else
when you are still
practicing
the craft
of self-love.

Allow your lows
to be reminders
that you
can lose
and smile
knowing
that you can
bounce back,
too.

There is nothing
graceful
in struggling
but there is
something
glorious
in the

overcoming

and believe me-
you will find a way
to live through it all.

And then
some day
somebody,
somewhere
is going to
admire
the way
you refuse
to fall.

And you will wonder
how you ever
let the world
make you feel

so small.

-Andrew Durst.

You told me all poetry is about *** or God
Because you know that I have a map of your body well memorized in my mind
And I touch your hands like I'm turning the pages of a Bible
A bookmark I forgot about from the chapter in my life when I believed without reservations
But I love you like a sinner because it seems
you are my last chance of paradise

Shivers creep on me in the post-******* ecstasy
as I light a cigarette and blue smoke crawls up my skin
Almost can feel you touching me
Giving love to my body

Inhaling the smoke brings back flashbacks of you
Suddenly we are in your room, drunk and young
I ask you to kiss me and you make me a slave
I taste you on my fingers and you taste like sin and whiskey
You pin me to the wall and we share what I thought was air
Rotten lungs and pretty eyes
My cigarettes now burn faster and you are lost in a fog
And although you destroyed me day by day
I never felt more alive
so I find myself reaching for your fire to light just one more cigarette.