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4.1k · Sep 2014
The exam
Seattle

I came

I saw

I conquered

Well....

Not sure about that last one

Now a game of

Wait
And
See
3.9k · Aug 2013
Forget me not
And
so it begins...
I'd like to think
anyway.
Except,
it was already
over...
Has been
for
weeks
months
years
and a
day
I am so going to miss myself now that I'm gone.....
I stopped calling

     stopped texting

             unfriended you on Facebook (LOL-not even my account....I don't have one) today

We've been friends for more than half my life

     more than friends from time to time (FWB....BFF....NSA.....OMFG!)

            and now it's like neither of us exists

Because you had to lie

     you had to hold out....lead me on

          to cover your *** for doing something I repeatedly told you to do (***!!??)

So painfully slowly I'm erasing you

      deleting you

           turning my mind off  you (IMY  :-(  XO)

*TTFN
2.6k · Sep 2013
I spy
A lavender sky unfurls before me
its plumes shifting
     imperceptibly
while the sunrise
     pends at my back.
The delicate white wings
flutter just above the dewey grass revealing
     silently
the city of fairy moths
     welcoming today.
The myths of me and mine
     echo quietly
with the rhythm
     of my hollow heart
as the bruised horizon
brightens blue.
2.6k · Jun 2013
Best massage I ever had
In the vicinity of midnight
After a sticky city day
The sweat of the streets washed away
The glow of the flat screen
And the anonymous king size bed
Prone and captive
No urge to escape
Captivated
Kneading
Leads to
Needing
Your touch topples towers
Avalanche
And then the
Quiver
Shiver
Lover
2.6k · Apr 2015
pretending
a daily occurrence
like breathing
love
We aren't given a guidebook of the
    life in store for us.  
The best we can hope for
    is a life with
   maximum joy
     and
      minimum suffering.


I struggle with the thoughts....

Have you ever imagined being
     fatherless
     partnerless
     rudderless....?

Small graces that I never did.

So I only had to experience each
once.

Despair that now I am.
2.3k · Aug 2013
Eerie
Is it a mystical force

Within me

That shuts the streetlight down

As I pass beneath?

That quiets the crickets

As I stride by

At this ridiculous time of day?

Such silly girlhood notions

To imagine I posses that kind of power

And I thought those childhood fantasies

Were evacuated

Must be hiding away from the darkness

Behind my spleen

Undectable to me.
2.1k · Jul 2014
Mental masturbation
The dog chasing its tail
The cat who thinks it found a friend in the reflection in the glass
Deluded
Nothing but pity
(And maybe a little disgust)
For those who who believe they know so much
2.1k · Mar 2014
mutual exclusion
healing:

verb (used with object)
1. to make healthy, whole, or sound; restore to health; free from ailment.
2. to bring to an end or conclusion, as conflicts between people or groups, usually with the strong implication of restoring former amity; settle; reconcile: They tried to heal the rift between them but were unsuccessful.  
3. to free from evil; cleanse; purify: to heal the soul.  

verb (used without object)
4. to effect a cure.
5. (of a wound, broken bone, etc.) to become whole or sound; mend; get well (often followed by up  or over  ).




reconciliation:


verb (used with object), rec·on·ciled, rec·on·cil·ing.  
1. to cause (a person) to accept or be resigned to something not desired: He was reconciled to his fate.  
2. to win over to friendliness; cause to become amicable: to reconcile hostile persons.  
3. to compose or settle (a quarrel, dispute, etc.).
4. to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible or consistent: to reconcile differing statements; to reconcile accounts.  
5. to reconsecrate (a desecrated church, cemetery, etc.).


The task
painful and cumbersome
is to decide
if both can be.
1.6k · Mar 2014
Double Standard
Ironic that some would say
I'm not entitled to my feelings or
have the right to express myself....?

Isn't that what poetry is for?

Or art
dance
song
tears
screams and
silence.....?

I will never be mute
and
I honor my
heart
mind and
soul.

Nor would I ever expect it of any of you.
Speech remains fundamentally free last time I checked...
1.3k · Jan 2014
Vapors
Wispy tendrils of your words
wander and wind
lisping love that
swirls
and
fades away
but not before the
mystery
of the lacey pattern
of the
smoke signals
stain and sting
my bloodshot
eyes
1.2k · Jul 2013
Osmosis
I remember that morning
Your sprawl next to me
Your face obscured by the pillows
Too many pillows to count
Scattered across that too big bed
While we occupied only the prime real estate
Center stage
Tracing a line
down your spine
Thinking
For this moment
This is mine
Suddenly over you roll
Your eyes intent and locked on me
We gravitate into each others' space
I could feel the magnetic pull
Arms twined
Legs vined
Torsos pulled so tightly together
That I swore
For a moment
We occupied the same sphere
I passed through you
You passed through me
I achingly loosened my hold
It felt as though each rib popped free
Taking you on your journey
Next to and far away from me
blooming
two plants
completely separate origins
10 blossoms
capture the eastern warmth
one plant a directed gift
symbolic of death
the other a random discount store deal
they are nurtured
with my sorrow and love
and give back to me
life and time
stolen
1.1k · Feb 2014
too good to be true
oh
most blessed silence
a gift of your departure

of course
it had to end


the mirror pool
now shattered
with the ripples of
your cacophonic dive

treasured respite
slips away

the horizon again
stained
with your shadow
ego controls you and suffocates the rest
1.1k · Jul 2013
Torture
That ***** of yours that rules your life
has stabbed and torn my
flesh, spirit, mind, heart
apart.

Are you blind to the carnage
in plain view?

My warm blood that you say you hold so dear
puddles and pools
coagulates and cools
in front of you.

I see your footprints walking away
leaving a trail of maroon to dry
to a dusty brown.

I am empty of
hope, trust, will, want.

You have taken all of me

my tears
my safety
my health
my self-respect
my desire
my dignity.

You have it all already.

What more could you possibly want?

I am a void

and you want more....?
Comedy or tragedy? You decide.
I have prohibited

ALL

Invasive species

The only

Parasites

allowed

are those I grew in my own body
Can't take the chance on spy or spirit
991 · Jun 2013
life support
The hands dove into my chest
and took hold
of my heart.
Gently cradling
the mutilation
letting the red
ooze and drip.
The frantic fingers
massaged with a
rhythym
that came naturally
from
years of practice.
Now is the time
to replace
to refill.
To make my
rejuvenated root
beat
to its own
drum.
984 · Aug 2013
Snipers
Beware the rosy cheeked colleague
passing you in the hall
asking you how you are.
Beware the helpful friend
willing to lend a hand
at a moment's notice.
Beware the grocery clerk
smiling while she inspects your list
sending you off to have a nice day.
Beware
Beware
Beware
All snipers everywhere
False smiles are the turrets they hide behind
Praise offered in an attempt to make you feel safe
Only so they can make their mark
Hit thier target
Finish the job
Bullseye
980 · Oct 2013
Bone Collector
As we travel
     through the hills and valleys
          the calms and the storms
The words
     strewn and carefully placed
Lead each of us to experience

His joy
Her heartaches
His regret
Her boasting

There is one here who wails
Suggesting she suffers from slings and arrows
When
     in fact
Her wounds are self inflicted
She begs mercy
But deserves only disdain
She is a maurauder
     the quintessential wolf in sheepskin
Her only comfort comes from
     licking
     and
     *******
     the
     bones
Of the few and fair she pledged protection
     lying a tangled mass
     a macabre resemblance of
     pick up sticks
     in her corrupt cage of  corpses
It must've killed you to lie on that pull out sofa  and listen to him "make love" to his wife in the next room....
958 · Mar 2014
facade
(Haiku)

all around in hell
fakers liars cheating ******
you know who you are
I never thought it possible to have heartache so profound
944 · Mar 2014
No chance of quarantine
so many she's
the strains of sickness
hoping to stave off the  
infectious bacteria
and avoid the noxious
contagions
they didn't care if they spread
Beware ....the monsters you couldn't quite believe in  do exist....they'll take your gifts and then gluttonously take even more
929 · Mar 2014
Feast of Famine
How to forget the unforgettable....

drink
drown
drag

stare
smoke
*****

run
rage
­rant

cry
cuss
clot

Each open mouth whispers with a hiss
".....you can't hide"
Each open mouth begs with abandon
".....fill me up"
The world is filled with empty.
Hungry is a state of mind....
When the phone rings
                and when it doesn't.
Parking lot drive-by's
                bars...hotels....gas stations....public parks.....
Lost library books
                and lost teeth.
Going to the grocery store or
               running out of Nutella......
A funeral
               and a birthday party.
Broken dishes
               and  a steady diet of broken promises.
882 · Mar 2014
Flattened or cursed
Once a field of lush green
laid out under sun and sky
roving in waves that carried
herbal joy whispering sigh
Now in this vortex of
cloud and dust
rusty blades lie
flat and crushed
The storm can't pass
anchored by unseen chains
choking to be revived
by the drowning rain
Subtitle: Unexpected visitors

Entanglement states that two particles that have become linked in a special way can be separated to any distance-even opposite ends of the universe-and a change in one particle will be immediately reflected in the other. (M. Ireland)

Seems when my lids are shut tight
that's when my mind's eye cracks open
Clarity within the fog.....
I see a sweet little cottage
     cozy and quaint
just like a stage set for
secrets.
My approach reveals an open door
     open mind
          open heart.
There's snow blanketing the ground....
at least one representation of the
real world.
I step through the door to find
a most unexpected surprise.....
     the butterflies in my stomach emerge from dormancy
     our lips electrified
     magnetic.
This time we both try to fight it
Try* being the key word.
Off stage
     off set
           off site
I know another really important person is there.
I want to see him more
but I can't pull myself away.
He is a memory.
He has yet to visit.
He makes me feel safe
but the butterflies go back to sleep when I step away from
you.
Possibility of anything inherent in dreams......
Ani
Bob
Cat
Dido
E...enough said
Florence
Grace
Hank
Ice T
Janis
Kimbra
Lyle
Melissa
Neko
Olivia
Poe
Queen (this one is tricky)
Robyn
Stevie
Tori
U2
Vic
Waits
XTC
Yo La Tengo
Zak

Many thanks
835 · May 2013
Snake in the grass
Beware for
the predator parades
hiding behind her facade
of
waxen words
lulling you
serenading you with the
toxic tonic of spoken and
unspoken lies
She lies in wait
waits in lies
to pounce and
pierce her venom
through your soul
She knows who she is
You've been touched by her
before
the Troll living under the bridge
in HePo land, amongst you all,
casting her spell
weaving her web
unhinging her jaw
looking for her next meal
823 · Jul 2013
Subject to interpretation
The things I know of you
     Deceit
     Disregard
     Disrespect
Your made up world
presented in a
pretty little package
pretended
     Charm
     Creativity
     Colors
Flamboyant like a male peacock
And now your soulful eyes
claiming to be
real and true
look into mine
no longer blind
     Soulless
     Stinging
     Singed
from the fumes
of your arson
As I stand in the ashes
accused  
although
all I did was
toss a dying ember
onto the ruins left behind
after all your fires
"You're a ***** girl"
you've gone too far
"The ***** is back"
actually, she never left
There's a few  varieties in this domain:
Some of us hang back, quiet
observing
armored
locked and loaded
ready to protect with that forecfield...
Alert
Aware
Buffering
Then there are those
malicious and spiteful
poised to pounce
and
take
take
take
Gluttonous
Perverted
Cruel
Which one are you?
I know where I stand.....proud....you know it doesn't matter
anyway  ;-)
809 · Jun 2013
2-11-11
My apology is automatic
  in my moment of weakness
I know what I want and
  seek safety before that.
Safety in disconnection
  flattery a lure and a
  weapon.
The urge so strong
Unstoppable until the
Moment of weakness then
Insight and
Clarity
803 · Aug 2013
it's complicated
it was an innocent question
     but loaded nonetheless
if he would have known
     who he was asking
we looked the average couple
     in that dive bar holding hands
capturing the other's glance
     with a secret smile
"Is this your girlfriend?"
     your friend or acquaintance inquired
I froze
     my breath stuck for a moment
you paused then I watched the corners of that masterful mouth
     turn up and bloom into a satisfied smirk
I said nothing but looked in your soulful eyes
     you said "yes"
I froze
     my breath stuck for another moment
you glanced at me
     quizzically
we both exhaled
     "it's complicated"
but I knew you were right
     I was
even though I couldn't be
It is a profound coward
driving by in the dark of night
shouting threats and profanity
too psychotic and loathing of self
to show her face
I've no tolerance for the weak minded-
the pathetically insecure
monsters
of this world
who thrive and are nourished with their evil emissions
Consider yourself disregarded

I have transcended to my state of grace
Perhaps, someday you will be forgiven...
perhaps not....

We all answer to the universe
763 · Dec 2013
Mighty Cascades
I see the fool standing there
as though she is separate
from me

The one who allowed you to
drink away my dreams
The one who provided you the
hatchet that
hacked my heart
The one who
turned a blind eye
from your shrouded truth

You hid  behind that waterfall
and
acid spray now eats my flesh

There's the unintended damage
you scar and scorch my earth
the erosion and desolation
obvious to
you
and
them
747 · Mar 2014
mockery
Oh dc
it appears you have been rendered
speechless
that's alright
Hon'
you don't have anything of value
to say
anyway
You pay attention when I speak of
love
sunrises and sunsets
rainbows
that soft caress
contentment
All the simple and complex things of beauty that I hope you all get the opportunity to experience

I find these topics tiresome when it comes to trying to convey truly deep experiences

There is clearly
passion in pain

I feel most

Human
and
Humble

When I dig deep and
pinch the painful nerve

It reminds me that I am strong
It reminds me that I will survive
It reminds me that I will strengthen

My passion is in my pain
of which you've supplied an infinite amount
i
hold hands
hold a job
hold my tongue
hold steady
hold my babies
hold my head high
hold my rocks glass
hold on
hold out
hold your heart
hold the phone
hold it down
hold it up
hold the ghost
hold my breath
hold the line
hold over
hold under
hold  my horses
hold everything
735 · Dec 2013
Humor Me
You so desperately want to
tickle my
funny bone
Don't you realize
how fractured
you all left it....
And this broke-down heart
cannot pump the
healing elixer
My veins have run dry
from the
Ectomy
you performed
with the myriad of surgical assistants
you employed
So you can search for that phantom
spark
but don't be too disappointed when
you come out empty handed.
730 · Jul 2013
Grown-up child's-play
A nasty round of Keep-away
     has begun this day
So tired in this game of Life
     with edges sharper than a knife

               I've been through the ringer
                      hit with a stinger
               A runner in a race
                     though I was never informed of the chase.

Obstacle course
Dodge ball
Blind man's bluff
Hide-n-seek
Pin-the-tail on the Donkey (that would be me....tee hee)
Poker
Sorry

Now it appears
     my injured heart is to be stabbed with spears
As you land that plane
     In my domain

               No more crashes of hot-wheel cars
                    we stay away as we gaze at the same stars
               On this trapeze I've lost my net
                    leaving me with much to fret
727 · Aug 2013
Nevermind
Collecting the lashes of lustful living
Still the shadow of the welts discernible on my thighs
But it's the ones not visible to your wandering eyes
The gashes on my
mind
The lacerations on my
heart
Still bleed
Still a mess to clean up everyday
Still a disaster to ignore
The elephant in the room has found a friend and I'm pushed up against the wall trapped  
What could I cut off to escape
This crevasse I've fallen (or was pushed) into?
Abba " knowing me knowing you " strums on my iPod
"Breaking up is never easy to do" the refrain while I try to absorb
"This time were through". How does the device know...?....followed by "down in it" (NIN) and seasoned with a little PJ Harvey. Wow...tough walk this morn!
A rousing
endorsement
for
marriage ....

good luck
The golden lights glow and
          twinkle and
          dance
The magic of the bulbs like
     fairies prancing
     through the trees
Jumping from one snowflake to
     the next
The slap of the bone-chilling
     air tempered by the
     bewitching
     bouncing
     brilliant
     forest of lights in the middle
     of the city
The beat of my hollow heels
     follows me as I trace
     a path
Around this oasis
Forgetting myself for the moment
1-9-13 marking an amazing anniversary of sorts....
699 · Jan 28
Toria says
I love you like an earthquake crashing the world in on us

It’s been two years since I touched you

Yet I still feel you
694 · Mar 2014
Voyeur
Keep watching you corrupt waste of DNA

Your whole life is wasted trying to be a part of it

So desperate

But you will never be one of the chosen

Always a reject

Protect those cankles
you don't scare me *****...you have no power in this world....there's a lot of filthy creatures with you in the sewer you live in.
686 · Oct 2015
Girls' weekend
We came
at least I did
We conquered
self defeat
A
Very
Relaxing
70 hours
685 · Jun 2014
FYI I do not take credit
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks" is a quotation from the 1602 play Hamlet by William Shakespeare. It has been used as a figure of speech, in various phrasings, to indicate that a person's overly frequent or vehement attempts to convince others of something have ironically helped to convince others that the opposite is true, by making the person look insincere and defensive.*

(So transparently self absorbed. Stay trapped in the box. I've travelled to distant planets and left the waste behind. Sometimes I feel like Charlie Brown listening to all the grown ups "wah wha whaaa....")
My beautiful daughter commented on my smile today. XO
684 · Nov 2014
Coffin nails
Lid secured
Every edge and surface pierced with the
iron spikes of varying gauges-

car
bed
home
town
old
towns
forest lake
host
every bar and grill
(within a 300 mile radius)
work
tents and air beds
split rock
otter tails
snow trails
Tobie's town
mini apples
silver ware
white gold Möbius strip
wedding presence
and presents
that long stretch of highway you still travel
everyday
brothers
friends (perhaps)
music
words in verse from your fingers
and spoken (broken)
Time lost to your treasures that revealed themselves to be
trash

-now rusting in place
cradling the remains of what never should have been
682 · Dec 2014
Your stolen moments
A marker for you
A sort of IOU

Unpaid debt grows
An unmanageable monster
A tumor of sorts
Pockets turned inside-out
Only ever empty
Barren and brazen
You, always hungry for more
Me, starving for your cause

Wanting
Wanton
Watching
Waiting

Too many a thieves in the night

Stealing
Stalking
Skulking
Snatching

I'm paid in full
*Too bad I lost my *** on a scam (or two)
676 · Mar 2014
Recovering lost soul
Refused to leave me
Couldn't stand the thought of losing me
Turned to the only sub to try to stroke his ego
Disposable blow up dolls
(Some more blown up than others mind you)
Then he says he opened his eyes to the epically perfectly imperfect angel who was flying at his side the whole time
"I can't stand losing you" (thanks Sting)
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